reaction

[Kelly 0]

lets take a minute to breath...
sometimes something bad happens and people dont know how to react. Anyone else even remotely able to read one thread can see all the bull crap going on here today...
some people arent being considerate or even humane. but then again, we are on the defensive. we have been personally attacked, and the last thing we need to do is seperate and isolate ourselves. Im not making excuses, but please take into consideration that some folks dont know how to deal with tragedy.. so they vent in negative manners. I dont know how some of these subjects came up today, but I WANT THEM ENDED NOW!
there are more serious matters at hand. THere are more thoughts that should be occupying our minds. We have folks to pray for, and souls to remember.
I have to go and run ambulance duty now, covering a whole lot of the surrounding towns. I have fellow squad members, close friends and loved ones that are right in the center of this tragedy right now. But instead of worrying about them i have to protect and give medical care to the people in front of me. Its called prioritising, and its what ive got to do.
imagine how people in my shoes feel... just a few seconds shy of going to NYC to help those most in need. I know theres a reason why i wasnt sent. but it is upsetting. I just know that theres a reason why. Im needed here ,but i could have helped there. Not being able to do what you do, well, thats not easy to deal with.
So lets drop all this bullshit, and send our thoughts to those who need them. lets not waste a breath on stupid shit. There are innocent folks who need us to send our love and sympathy. THere are REAL VICTEMS OUT THERE!!! just try to say a prayer or have a moment of silence for each individual person killed today, that should occupy you for a long time to come (can you get my message?)! Its time to prioritise, and this shit isnt on my list. I turn here for some support... what do i find instead? im disgusted.
and sangiro, can you delete the threads that need it?

[freeflir29 0]

Here Here!
On happier notes. I'm working tonight and I just walked outside to smoke. Here in Atlanta it is a beautiful afternoon. Warm but not hot. Beautiful blue sky. I've had plenty of days where that was all I could find that was nice in the world. Sometimes a beautiful blue sky is enough to get me through the day. So try to find at least one thing to be thankful for today.
"Jesus Blessed me with his future...and I protect it with fire!"-R.A.T.M.
Clay

[FallinWoman 1]

I have to say my reaction to the weather today is different than yours. It kinda creeps me out and seems wrong that this is such a beautiful day with such clear blue skies.
Seems like today should be clouldy and rainy to match the mood.

[skreamer 1]

Amen to that froggie!
And just remember that even though you want to be there yourself, it is because of you covering all those extra towns tonight, that the much needed extra help can be made available in NYC.
Will

[freeflir29 0]

"Seems like today should be clouldy and rainy to match the mood"
That's life. Always beauty surrounded Chaos
"Jesus Blessed me with his future...and I protect it with fire!"-R.A.T.M.
Clay

[SpeedRacer 1]

I'd like to add: If those threads don't get deleted, at least we should stop posting on them so that they don't keep floating up to the top of the forum list.
Speed Racer
"Come up to my lab,
And see what's on the slab!"

[skymama 35]

Quote

That's life. Always beauty surrounded Chaos

That's so true, Clay. Tomorrow, when we get up the birds will be singing, the sun will be shining and the sky will be blue. We will grieve. But as the tough Americans that we are, we will also pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and do what we need to do to get the job done. Life, as tragic as it is sometimes, must go on.
Andrea
The brave may not live forever, but the timid may not live at all.

[nimbus 0]

Despite all the horror of what's happened I am proud (and I don't even know you) of the people in these threads who have urged others not to respond with racism.
Thinking of those who have died and who have lost loved ones and who are frightened and in shock and helping them and yourselves through this is the first thing to do.
Here in Australia people are shocked and saddened. I saw footage of people hanging from windows and cried. My best friends are in New York right now, living in Brooklyn, I haven't been able to contact them but assume they're okay.
To everyone in here, whether you have a direct connection to someone killed or not, to everyone who must be horrified and upset, god to everyone in the US, my thoughts are with you. It feels bad enough from the other side of the world, I can't comprehend how I might feel if it happened in my city or country.
I don't belive in god as such, but may the thoughts and threads of love that run through the universe wind round everyone in the world today and help us all.
Larissa

[Kelly 0]

to everyone:
its now 7:11 pm on tuesday here on the east coast. Ive written sangiro an email last night, and now its my turn to talk to you guys...
I woke up today at noon. I didnt finally get to bed until 6am, when the 'relief' crew came on and i could be done taking ambulance calls.
Last night at 1am my partners returned from NYC. The looks on thier faces mirrored mine, but only more pained. They did what was asked of them, and luckily for their own spirits and emotional well being they didnt see the worst of it. 3 of my partners were called to the 'front line', only 5 blocks from the WTC buildings. I listened as they told stories of sitting around, waiting to go in. Of finally being called in, and driving around, trying to find thier patients. Their patients were the most seriously in need. There werent any around. Which means one of 2 things : either they already got to the hospital, or they were already tagged 'black' (meaning dead). IN a mass casuality incident people are triaged, and those who are already dead, or will likely die soon are given least priority.. THose who are critical and stand some chance of living are catagorized as first prioritiy. then there are the walking and wounded. Over 2,000 walking and wounded were taken to a local park where they were dispersed amongst the hospitals in surrounding areas, including NJ.
Im feeling frustration and dispair and pain because i didnt go. when you can provide help, and you are capable of getting there but you dont its not an easy thing to deal with. I dont think my Res. Captain realized what that desicion was going to do to me. It was a matter of 'lets go' you stay and help leo get the rescue truck out there if youre called in.
when my partners got home last night i went home to one of their houses, to my friend kevins house. Kevins on military leave from the squad right now. hes only been home since friday, but when the tragedy occured yesterday he was one of the first people at the ambulance hall. we gave him a uniform and a pager, and put him on an ambulance to NYC. We've always been good friends, since we were 14. So when he got home last night with everyone else I was a bit more worried about him. we sat around as a family, us squad members. They talked, we listened. we talked, they listened.
What their return made me realize is that i didnt have to be there to be having a hard time. Sunday night i went to bed with plans to skydive on monday morning, but fate would see diferently. Now today, after the past 24 hours of stress, i didnt want to see anything on the tv. I havent read the papers, i havent watched the news. I turned the radio on in the car and heard one word in regards to this situation and turned the radio off. my friends started conversating about it, and i left.
so why, when this massive tragidy is going on, can i turn my back? well, unlike the majority of america, i had to be involved. In the 21 months ive been a voluneer its become a part of me, its in my blood. When you have to rely on national news programs to give you updates, and trying to reach your partners on a radio or cell phone, when any update makes you more aware of what your job is, and you still have folks right in front of you that need your immediate help, well, all that can get a bit overwhelming. Ive got feelings i have to deal with, and hearing the bickering and arguing going on inside these threads and nationwide, i wonder in amazement what position those folks are taking. In this tragedy there are countless groups of people all experiencing different things.
Think about Marc, whos best friend/ fire fighter is still missing. I asked my partners about him last night ,and they gave me a small shimmer of hope, along with a dose of reality.
Think about those people who live in the tristate area. I myself have 3 friends who we still havent heard from, and we believe were there, in the WTC buildings yesterday.
Think about those people who live outside this 'area' who can only hope and pray their loved ones are okay. No way to get to NYC from California right now. Think about the immigrants who are just innocents, victims like you and me and all the people who call America their home, their the ones who are feeling the heat and hate and anger of a nation, but they are the innocents.
think about each level of involvement in this attack on america, and think about the individual people on each of those levels.
The feelings that my partners who went, and those of us who stayed back are similar. And that realization has made me more aware of what people are going thru on ALL levels. I thank God for that realization.
It was 6am before i finally got to sleep this morning, and as i climbed into bed for the 3 time my body and mind, my heart and my soul ached for rest. but it wouldnt come. I felt drained, but the exaustion had come about 4pm the day prior, and i was now well beyond any chances of actual rest.
Yesterday afternoon i went to my friends house (she lives behind the ambulance hall). Her roomates mom, who i am pretty close to was there. I went to see my friends, because they had been in NYC just that morning but made it home safe by a mere 2 hours. I saw their car around 9am as i rushed to the ambulance hall, so i knew they were okay. It was a few hours before i could actually get the chance to hug them, and hold them, and feel the relief of knowing that they were okay.
My friends mom, who i effectionately call 'mom' is a religous woman. Mom walked me out to my partners truck (my transportation yesterday) because i had to get to the hospital to pick up supplies. We stopped short, just a few feet from the bumper. "pray with me" was all that she had to say... For the first time since i graduated in May of 99 I actually prayed. We stood there holding hands, resting our heads against eachothers, praying and pleading for peace and comfort, mourning those lost. She prayed that my partners would be safe, she begged that i be left behind but that if i was to go to NYC she asked that i be blessed and remain safe. in broad daylight, in the middle of a parking lot, I let go of all that i had and cried in the arms of somebody that i care deeply about. Its all about realizing what truely matters, and in this instance we learned about human love, about what it means to be an American or a friend to America. This tragedy has stripped away all that is supperficial, and has called many Americans to stand up and join hands.
Lets not drop a hand, the person next to us just might need it.