suffocated and seriously loosing all cool...

[chickenhawk420 0]

Sorry to drop this on yall but need to get this shit out of my system. Ive been getting serious shit of my parents but here is the history (needs to be said to make sense out the rest), Firstly never really had a problem with my parents untill about two years ago at college, mensa member since 11 and did very well in my school examz- A*, 4 A's, 6 B's and a couple of not so ggod grades (must piont out that ive been smokin weed since third year, 13-14). Went to college and started doing alevels, science bias, loved college (who wouldn't with a great group of friends and thirty pubs within a two minute walk) but i hated the subjects i was doing and found out too late, not like i could'nt do the subjects i just simply hated them and had lost all intrest in them (without curiosity who would want to learn) but i tried and did'nt do well. - got E's.
It was still good enough to go to uni but i didn't want to wasn't sure what i wanted to learn (so i did'nt want college part two) plus i am slighly unconventional and wanted to pursue skydiving (which i had got into fully after my parents gave me a gift Aff level one jump for passing my examz- i did a static and tandem becoz the aff master broke his leg the weekend before- but it was cool as hell and was a great present).
So now moving round jobs finding a way to do the one thing i really want to do. Its not like ive pinned all future hopes on it, ive got training as a CPO (basicly bodyguard) which means ive passed background checks (plus course) and am able to do the next course which gets me into employment. After that i work my way up but thanks to knowing a Ex-BG still in the game who wiil help with contacts, i can expect to get a nice paid job (after a year or so £30-40 an hor upto £500 an hour, good money)
Now ive not been too good with money or holdin down a job (but it ain't totaly all my fault) but im determined to fall in style, thats what im going for now- its all i want, well that and my friends to me thats what life is not working your ass off, loosing friends because youve all got to work all hours to get anywhere- its not that im not going to work hard its just what exactley are those people working for- it certainly doesn't seem to be their dreams.
Ok, ive gone on a bit already but if youve got this far please stay with me, i need advice and pointers, i need to know that this isn't all me and that its my parents who have really lost plot. So since deciding this my parents had said theyll support me, and its my choice about uni and my happiness is the important thing. Cool i really thought my parents had my back, since being young i always had respect for my parents being liberal and not going a with the grain just coz its the pop thing to do. But then i start spending what they see as more and more time away from home (even though i was like this through school, friends have always been important- you meet people who feel the same about issues who you can really feel, we have similar lifestyle habits and that was why we gelled, ye know? Isnt that about what growing is all about, and isn't it closed family units which lead to seggregation, iggnorance and people stayin with their own?
So i start getting shit of my units, they find out about my weed smokin (coz that must be the problem hey, why i did so bad at college- even though didn't effect my school, the only reason i did bad at college was i lost interest in my subjects, i picked the wrong ones). Then comes the rest of the shit about not doing household chores, loosing jobs, savings- the usual stuff. But then it kept coming back to the same thing, must be the weed, i must be addicted (even though i have tried to show that these things are nothing more than scare mongering bread into society that goes back a hundred years, that weed or thc is NOT addictive in the nature that you become physicly dependent but can be habbitual- in its very nature not addictive). After rows and trying to explain my stand point i felt that my parents were comin round and starting to understand- becoz they kept sayin we're not bothered about it. But it is always the first thing that gets thrown at me, choice use of words like pothead, doped up, memorys going, uve got no intelligence left, wheres your spark, so absent minded. Ive tried to show that this isn't true, my memorys better than theirs etc but it always the way things are said that show more abou what their thinking even if theyre are trying to say one thing, i beleive them then they show that its bollocks coz it comes back to the same shit.
This stopped for a while instead of the weed i got hit by selfish, only care about my self sort of shit, they got pissed at the chores so i try to do it (and most days i do but im not in that much) but it doesn't matter what i do their idea of compromise is do what we say, our roof tough shit.
Next blow my sister (younger and their last hope for what ever they think i should have been) suffers from deprssion and tries sucide as the answer (it was a serious attempt but at the same time im left with the feeling, due to her way, that it also had an element, strong, of the cry for help, slight emotional blackmail, need attention thing)
I, and i mean sadly, don't get on with my sister as well as i would like and we have the uncanny natural ability of setting each other of. However after i tried but still i get crap of my sister, she launches the verbal i try and walk away but its pretty hard if we're in the same house and shes going of it first. Then my parents hear about it from a now very emotional sister and it gets turned on to me, i must be the one whos always starting it (basicly parents calling me a bullie etc) so im always the bad guy and all this has changed how my parents act towards me. Even though they assure me that they don't see me as the problem their actions,body language and facial expressions tell a totally different story. But they can't except that maybe im right, if not just a bit.
Im getting hit know by selfish, pothead, totally self centred, that ive changed and got no brains left. They want me out the house, i don't want to be in the fuckin house becoz of this shit, im the bad guy and none of the problems are comin from their iggnorance (even though i really thought they we're quite liberal i see thats a crock of steaming dung), my dads "given up on me coz theyll never be able to change me" what gives them the fuckin right to think i need to be totally changed by them that just sort of proves my point, coz if they dont think theres something wrong me then why they want to change me? I don't think there's anything wrong with me, in fact i fuckin know it, i aint perfect and neither are they. And yes theres things id like to change but ill do that my way coz im gonna carry on growing but what ive embarked on im happy with, i might not be happy with bits but that i can change them, ive always beleived in using my brain to decide on things instead of just taking others word for it- we're all human, we make mistakes in our lives, theories, perceptions but those who blindly accept things are the ones who are damned.
They want me out the house, and quite frankly i don't want to be in it but ive no job (after gettin sacked coz the twats wanted to cut back on wages-greed), no money and no way out at the moment where the hell can i go. Im sick of character assasination by my family who really have got it twisted (and stuck in their own way, assuring that they have some understanding but then proving anything ive said hasn't been accepted or understood, with alot of other things been taken wrongly or overegagerated). Even my uncle thinks ive changed even though he lives three hundred miles away, ive seen him for a few hours on christmas day and i haven't really had a chat with him (so its not coming from me) so it can only be commin from my mum, what else has she been saying to other people (what choice of words she been using)?
I don't know, whats this got to do with skydiving, alittle coz it shows what people go through to do it aka living my live making my choices and it can get misunderstood and even when you think youve got somewhere with people you find you haven't and the shit goes on. I've even had the asspiring young criminal going on to bigger things just becoz i smoke weed.
Please comment, advise, anything- im gonna keep replying and trying to explain stuff better but its complicated and involves a few years of life. What i really want to do is open up a big disscussion, say anything u want, so that later i can bring this back to my parents hopefully get them of my back, just not so holy than now full on hinden hate, atleast get it to surface coz until they realise that they have got it lob sided (not me, coz i think i might know myself a bit better than even my parents do) and that they have been doing alot of biased, hurtful shit always (since i was ikle) taking sisters side and actually doing this to me. If it goes much further, ill be the first to say fuck it and walk away (i din't want to turn my back but if we can't talk, and its always their opinions that are right without really listening to anything i say what other choice do i have?) Ive tried but im getting sick of trying coz its always the same outcome, if they do force me out than im unemployed, homeless and wiil probably never get to do what i want for quite a while (how can i save up to jump when £200 a week, if that, is gonna be going on so much else, if they truely did support me fully in what i want to do then this is going to put me well back but if i have to i have no problem doing it, i just hate this shit)
Its hard to exlpain all the intricate things but im determined not to be the next in my family to have mental health problems, fuck it well and truely.

[chickenhawk420 0]

Please reply, its driving me insane...

[jfields 0]

We are workin' on it. You wrote a damned novel. Justin
My Homepage
This will require more than my usual BS sarcastic answer. I'll have to get back to this tomorrow, after digesting it a bit.

[Kelly 0]

give examples, specific instances or situations where youve bettered yourself.
as far as the college thing goes. been there. done that. took a semester off. now im enrolled and looking forward to getting back into school with a high degree of excitement. This is the second time ive taken a semester off, and its working for me. This time though, im taking classes that interest me. at my college you have to sit with a counselor and choose your classes until you have X amount of credits. Ive got 45 now so i can opt not to see a counselor. Education is important, a degree is an 'extra'. i always say that i'll have 400 credits before i get a degree.. but im learning about things that interest me.
the drugs.. ask your parents if they ever smoked pot.. were they drinkers.. see if there is a way to relate your expierieces to theirs. Explain to them why you do it, how you see its effect on your life. Or even stop smoking pot and tell them you've stopped. demonstrating self control will score points.
your sister... man, thats your baby sister. youre little girl. your pride and joy. the happiness and biggest pain in your life. Growing up she delt with the same shit mom and dad delt out.. you two CAN relate. If you find yourself getting angry, look at her, tell yourself how much you love her, how it hurts to see her hurting, and those angry words will disapear. Dont be afraid to show her your emotions. If what youre sister is going thru scares you, then let her know that. Men do cry.. And, coming from personal experiences, when your brother(s) are so worried, and so pained by what their little sister is going thru that they express true sadness and pain, it really puts a connection there. You've got to understand that shes not 'launching the verbal' because of you, shes just venting to you, at you. youre there. youve taken her shit in the past and forgiven her. so youre a gaurentee to always be there. We hurt the ones we love.. weve all hear that saying before. Reason we do this is because their family, and they should be there no matter what. we can take out all our emotions on them, and unlike boyfriends or girlfriends, they wont walk away. our deepest fear is that they will, but usually hope keeps that fear in check.
realize that most people dont know what they want to do in life. I've had this discussion with a much older friend reciently. I went to arizona and came home knowing more about myself then when i left. he told me that you dont have to know where you want to be in 10 years. The trick to living life is to understand and accept that your future is not gaurenteed, nor is it known. Commitments are not really commitments, their just temporary patterns in our lives until we decide on another course of action. Dont worry about that 'career job'. That friend talked to me about education, life experiences... he told me that goign thru life i want to get as many 'legs' under me as possible.. the more legs i have to stand on the more backups i have when somebody or something comes thru and tries to knock me down. Somebody can knock out three of my legs, but if ive got twice that many, im going to be okay. I know, the analogy is kinda different, but he's german, and that was his best translation. and its a damned good one too.
so give your parents specific examples of the good parts of your life. dont be afraid to admit where you went wrong. learn from your mistakes, they can only make you a better person. Talk to your sister, let her know that her pain is your pain. that you love her no matter what. and remind yourself of that next time youre butting heads. Get some more legs under you, whether it be thru trade school, specific classes, volunteering (ive got a lot of certifications because im a volunteer EMT, all it cost is my time and im qualified to do a lot as far as EMS goes, specific scenarios where only specifically trained personnel can be a part of the rescue) whatever. Even just internships can form connections that might help you out later in life. Go back to college. take classes that you want, even if its a "marylin monroe studies' course or something.. its feeding your brain, and sparking your interests.
good luck
http://www.geocities.com/flynfroggie/skydiving_friends.html

[chickenhawk420 0]

cheers

• Quote

[mnischalke 0]

Whaaaa Whaaaaa
Fix your life, brother.
Take it from an ex-pot head. You are a practicing pot head. Your entire message reeked of weed. The whole "lost interest in... and ...loosing (it's losing) jobs, savings" are all indicative of the affects of weed on your head. For a former Mensa member, you post is a list of somewhat incoherent ramblings tied together by a whine. Then again, I may not get some of the new English jargon.
My recommendation:
Quit smoking weed.
Get a job. (Ever think of the military?)
Move out of your parents house.
Once you've done all these things, you will have something tangible to whine about--the real world.
If I sound like a prick, good. I know this subject all too well.
peace
mike
fly nylon

[chickenhawk420 0]

Tanks for replyin, just need to talk through this stuff. On the pot thing, im not gonna stop just becoz my family wants to (even if it is the most sincere reasons on their behalf) because i know that what they are saying about the weed is bullshit. I haven't changed becoz of the weed, if changed (if i even have ) becoz ive grown. Im not addicted, its isn't addictive, i even proved that to them when i went on holiday with them for a week and didn't smoke any weed (for just over the week) it didn't bother me, no shakes nothin like that. I came back and smoked coz i like it theres no other reason for it. If it was coz of my health then still i would smoke (my mum smokes cigarettes and is already gettin failing health becoz of it, and even though i would like her to stop, its her choice but she does it becoz shes addicted). Even when i try to show them my point of view i get theirs back at me- fair enough. But they stick to the misguided view about weed where as i have an intrest in it so look at its history and future, they hit me with the government says this, the scientists say this when im the one who is activley trying to find out about it. For example driving and smoking, recently its been showed that it doesn't effect driving (and this is a government backed study) yet they can't except it (just old views). Weed is addictive, no it isn't it has never been found to be the only studies that have come to that conclusion have been thrown becoz they used rats that had been given cocaine for weeks then introduced the thc atagonist (1000 times stronger) in the same place they got the coke from while withdrawing it.
What gets me is even though i do learn for myself my opinions are dismissed then i get attacked for it, calling there own son stupid (you've lost your intelligence becoz of weed) even though ive gone and found out for myself, which they've always encouraged, yet if my opinion comes back different then i am wrong? It doesn't make sense, they go from super son brag to there friends to hes just a dope head and attack me on the one thing they had always been proud of (how can i go from being intelligent to a thick retard and all arround the same time i decide not to go to uni and persue skydiving, and of course the weed?)
It just seems to me that they are delibratley attacking the things they used to be proud of becoz im not following their path.
They say i am self centred but when my friends are in trouble whos the first to be there for them in any situation, if i can help i will if i can't i find a way to. When my mum wants something doing i usually do it but if i can't (coz ive made arrangements or am not in the house) she gets pissed off even if ive done the kitchen for them the passed five days so that they can come in without mess and sit down, it doesn't matter i didn't do it then the other times get forgot about. If i do a job i can gaurantee that therell be extra suprise jobs (While your there, do this extra running about for me).
I have a life and it seems that its just not good enough for my parents or it conflicts too much for me to do a job for them then i get serious shit. There is no respect. I do what i can but at the end of the day, my life, ive got other things to do aswell.
Im just sick of the constant character assasination, they have no idea how nasty they are being. And if they do its always becoz its somethin ive done or not done. Never do they think maybe we're the ones who done somethin or that the reason i may get pissed off is coz of what they are doing to me.
For fucksake, today in an ardument because i spent time at my friends instead of at home i get further down the argument "Your dads given up on you". How the fuck is that meant to make me feel, coz i can't be changed, well maybe im happy and don't want to change things and the things i want to change i will but it will be me doing the changing not someone else becoz they feel its the right thing and mine is the wrong.
But i do see what your sayin, its just difficult when you have got to this and still despite everything (even trying to change bits to make them happier) i still get the same shit. You feel like you work your arse off to get somewhere with them then they do something that makes you realise nothings changed.

[chickenhawk420 0]

Not former member of mensa still am, the loss of intrest in the subjects was because i didn't enjoy them and there was other things but i couldn't switch. After a year and a half of that who wouldn't loose intrest in subjects they hated and thoroughly didn't spark my brain, who wouldn't be bored. I smoke all throw school (minus two years) and came out with wicked results at a time when physiclly damage should have been seen because this is during puberty when a body is most effected by foreign substances. Im not goona stop
My jobs well, been laid off (last in first out) how the fuck is that coz of the weed? I get fired from one (but it turns out because my best mate still works there that they did it to make themselves more cash by lowering the wages- which they couldn't do while i was there becoz of my contract. so they viod the contract now they can) so how the fuck did weed effect this? Resigned from another- i was a salesman that could'nt sell ummm my doorstep persona must have been effected by weed hey?
Military, hell no. But as i did say ive got on the road to be a bodyguard (very well paid) with inside contacts. Only problem is to do this and to do the one thing that ties us all together here, skydiving, is to get money, ummm no job i know ill get a job. Just i wish it was that easy, especially with our unemployed going through the roof, and its not like im trying. All i need is a job, save 5000 and im set to follow my dreams- if skydiving money gets tight then simply go to BG school, month later im there.
Couldn't aggree with you more on your last point, but shit, just need that job thing hey.
Sorry about using both english slang and american slang just mulitculural in that way. Thanks for advice, not gettin at you, but you do the weed culture alot of injustce, if you used to smoke and don't now cool good on ya but don't be that person who you used to hate, remember the one who said don't do that i don't like it. And lastly how is this not real life, im livin it, im alived if all you are concerned about is work (and thats the only real life thing) you've lost.

[rmcvey 0]

O.k, here goes.........
I to was a self confessed smoker, and am still known to enjoy the occasional joint.
Your situation at home seems to be coming from the fact you want to smoke dope, you believe it is harmless and just the same as having a beer. But your parents disagree with this view and seem to want to throw this fact in your face everytime you guys argue.
3 years ago I was the kind of person I look at now and think, damn, get a life.
I smoked dope, was rebelious as hell, thought getting stoned was the best thing in my life at the time.
Luckily I didnt share the parent problem.
Although I diagree on many subjects with my parents there is no way you will EVER convince them that smoking dope is OK.
EVER
EVER EVER EVER (believe me this argument is futile)
Any inteligent human being should be able to see the exsisting laws/taboo sorrounding the wonderful plant defy logic. Im not saying their dumb, just that the taboo of "marijuana is bad, say no to drugs" is obviouslly too deeply seeded.
But is this argument worth screwing your life up?
If you get kicked out, have no job, no where to live how do you plan on paying for jumps??
If you bite your lip, stop smoking dope (for the time being ) and try your damn hardest to make things work at home.........DO IT
In the end, you will have somewhere to live, good prospects for the future and no doubt be making some seriously good fun jumps, which by far beat getting stoned with a couple of buddies.
Im guessing your between 16 and 25 and however hard things seem at home there are people ALOT worse off than your self.
Peer pressure seems to be the biggest and most hardest thing to stop any recreational substance, as thats when its hardest to resist.
Are the friends you get stoned with skydivers also?
If not, say bye bye to them and stick to skydiving.
Aim to get employed, get some money under your belt and then worry about having that occasional spliff (like the nice fat one im smoking now If you jump near me ill come jump with you sometime and sort your head out for you.
Safe skies.

[skybytch 259]

Quote

ive passed background checks (plus course) and am able to do the next course which gets me into employment.

You smoke a lot of pot and you passed a real b.g. check? Damn. I usedta think I wanted to be a cop, but they didn't want me cuz of my herb intake...

Quote

weed or thc is NOT addictive in the nature that you become physicly dependent but can be habbitual- in its very nature not addictive

Having been addicted to it for close to 18 years now I gotta say... bullshit! While I won't go into seizures or DT's if I don't have it, I do have serious attitude problems when I have none. Even if the reaction to not having it is not physical but only mental or emotional.... that's addiction.

Quote

They want me out the house, and quite frankly i don't want to be in it but ive no job, no money and no way out at the moment where the hell can i go.

Got a tent? Pitch it at the dz. You now have a place to live. Job? I find it hard to believe there are no jobs available where you live. Washing dishes, pumping gas or making sandwiches does suck (having held all of those jobs in the past, I know...) and the money isn't likely to be anything to brag about... but if you had a job like that at least you could say to your parents "Hey! Look! I'm trying!" Right now all you are doing is whining.
Who's buying the food you are eating? Who's paying for your clothes, transportation, internet access .... and pot for that matter??? If your parents are providing you with money, a roof, food, transportation, etc... and you are not attending school full time imho they have every right to insist that you get off your ass and go find a job.
Okay, enough kicking your ass; here's something that might offer some help and hope. Highly intelligent people who get addicted to pot, cocaine, etc., who have continued problems with "follow through" (great ideas that never go anywhere), who have problems concentrating on things that are boring but no problem concentrating on things they are into, who are stimulus seekers (driving fast, doing drugs, jumping out of airplanes).... may have Attention Deficit Disorder. I didn't find out that I had it until I was 30... the years since then have been SO much better than all the ones before. I now know WHY I do all the stupid shit I do; doesn't excuse it, but does explain it. May be something you might want to look into.
pull and flare,
lisa

[quade 3]

Have you considered military service?
http://futurecam.com

[rmcvey 0]

I hear the D.E.A have a few vacancies?!
sorry, couldnt help myself

[mnischalke 0]

"Highly intelligent people who get addicted to pot, cocaine, etc., who have continued problems with "follow through" (great ideas that never go anywhere), who have problems concentrating on things that are boring but no problem concentrating on things they are into, who are stimulus seekers (driving fast, doing drugs, jumping out of airplanes)...."
lisa, how did you pull up my dossier so fast? You are creeping me out. Who'd ya pay?
Do you take anything for ADD?
I tried Ritalin once. (twice actually) I thought I was going to die. I was driving my truck from PA to MD at around 90 mph (I have a chevy z71 extracab and that's awfully fast for that thing) and I felt like I was going 20. I had one stream of thought for the entire 2 hr. ride and barely remember seeing the road.
I have come to the point at which I hate being out of control, hence the lack of other substances in my life. Beer is even losing it's luster.
peace,
mike
fly nylon

[Kelly 0]

wait one minute. i want to see the study that said pot doesnt effect driving. I've been in EMS for 2 years, and ive pulled kids out of cars who were dead, half dead, or wishing that they were dead because of thier injuries. kids who just 'smoked a little pot' at a party instead of drinking so they'de be okay to drive.
ive also studied a guys skull and skin that was imbedded in a windshield because of drugs and alchohol. I had to look at it to determine injuries, give reports to er staff, write my report, learn from it.
Pot is mind altering. it does effect your skills. motor and social. Im not anti smoking, but i am anti denial.
so please, dont tell me it doesnt effect driving. because ive had to treat my friends for MVA's because of it. And ive had to stand there and tell parents that their kid might not live because they 'smoked some pot'
enough said
http://www.geocities.com/flynfroggie/skydiving_friends.html

[Emmie 0]

The only advice that I can give you is to sit down with your parents and tell them what's bothering you. I know that you feel that they are turning on you, but you have to try to understand where they're coming from too. Often times when parents are being hard on you its because they care. I know it sound cheezy, but its true, trust me. And they do have it pretty hard, with your sister. And no matter how liberal a parent is, noone would be ok with their son smoking pot, and they wouldn't be good parents if they did. From what I read it seems like they're pretty cool, I meen they did introduce you to skydiving, and they were understanding about your college situation. So talk to them. Also, you say that it bothers you that you aren't doing what you love at the moment. Sometimes you have to make choices, maybe the weed is really keeping you back. If you quit you'll be quiting for yourself, and not for them.
PS less money spent on weed = more money for jumps.
Hope this helps, Good Luck.

[fred 0]

I have a feeling that this post is going to be a novel, and it might get a bit flamey at times, but I really recommend that you not get all defensive. I think you posted not because you actually wanted advice, but instead just to vent that things aren't going as well as you'd like. But I strongly recommend that you go back and read what people wrote and try not to get defensive. There's been a lot of good advice in this thread.
But first, it's not all your fault. Your parents do seem to need to be more supportive, and I'd strongly recommend that you talk to them about counseling, for all of you. You clearly have some issues.
Second, to get this out of the way, I'd also like to see the source that "pot doesn't affect driving". While I don't believe the article, I do believe that you read it somewhere. If you can recall where you heard it, that would be helpful. There are a lot of strange conclusions drawn by scientists, and I'd like to read the original article/paper.
Now, onto the pot thing, since, despite what you seem to be saying, it is a *big* issue in all of this. You're right, it's not physically addictive. I've read 3-4 papers on the addictive effects of THC and they all draw the same conclusion: there is no physical addiction present. And then they talk about the mental addiction and conditioning. Marijuana *is* addictive, but it will not give you shakes or detox. And you know what? Nicotine detox lasts less than 14 days, but the habit is still hard to quit. If somebody smokes pot daily for 3 years, it's going to be hard to quit smoking it, even though the body doesn't need it (in the way that the body initially "needs" nicotine, or the more lasting physical addiction of heroine). The reports usually go on to describe why mental addiction is more significant than physical, and blah blah blah.
Further, you are describing the symptoms. You "lost interest in" your classes, you aren't doing housework, etc, etc. I'm not telling you to quit, but I'm telling you that if you're smoking more than 2 nights a week, that's too much. It's the difference between recreational and habitual use. So, if you want to help things, you need to cut down. This will not, however, solve all your problems.
Also, I do think you should consider going back to school. Take classes, and show up for them. You mentioned that you started going to university but you weren't "sure what you wanted to learn". Well, that's what freshman and sophomore year is for. Take classes that seem interesting and fill in your general requirements. Take calculus, physics, sociology, and history, and see what you like. And get that piece of paper. It will help you get a job, hold a job, and make more money for more jumps and better equipment.
And university is full of freetime for jumping! You get freedom like nowhere outside of academia. It's beautiful weather and you want to go to the dropzone? Skip classes. The penalty is not nearly as severe as skipping work.
The other alternative, in my mind, is if you know what you want to do. I have a cousin who isn't going to college (university), but in his last two years of high school is learning a trade. We're very proud of him.
You've mentioned your bodyguard training a few times, but I'm unclear as to when this will actually become a job, or how you plan to pass the routine drug tests that I'm sure are a part of any position you might find. If this is the course you're sure you want, I wish you the best of luck.
It's too bad that you and your sister aren't getting along. It sounds a lot like how my older brother and I were before he moved out. It's amazing how much not-seeing-each-other-every-day really helps sibling relationships. Move out when you can afford to.
Oh, and one last flame. If you really want support and to come off as an intelligent person who's in control of their life, you need to put more effort into your writing. Apostrophe's and proper spelling will do wonders to get people on your side, as will clear thinking and reasoned out paragraphs.
Further, as an armchair psychiatrist, you have some self-confidence issues, and need to see a real psychologist. I don't know what the health care system in the UK is like, but it's civilized enough that you can find some that you or your parents can afford. A psychiatrist is someplace you get to go and talk about yourself for an hour each week. It's not such a bad deal. If you get one who seems to be blaming you for everything, switch until you find one who does more listening (which seems to be what you crave).
I have a group of intelligent friends, with and without degrees, and I don't know anybody who is willing to "work all hours to get anywhere". There are lots of real life people who work hard monday through thursday, and still have fun on their evenings. I don't know anybody who works hard on friday ;).
I really wish I had more positive things to say, but the best I can do is assure you that your parents are trying to help in the best way they know how. You need to find a way to reach common ground with them, and that probably won't happen for a few years. I wish you luck.

[skybytch 259]

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lisa, how did you pull up my dossier so fast?

Just telling my life story in a few lines... doesn't surprise me that it fits you too; I've met soooo many skydivers who either have been diagnosed or really need to be.
I'm pretty classic ADD - scored 1270 on the SAT (in 1982) but graduated with a 2.65 GPA, drove like a maniac from the day I got my license (slowed down a bit after I had my son, then a bit more after I started jumping, but I'm still dangerous), love anything high stimulus from skydiving to living on the financial edge to sex. Lots of sex. Can't tell you how many times I heard the "you have so much potential if you'd only apply yourself" lecture... from the parents, teachers, counselors, the principal, even the guy who taught me to skydive.

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Do you take anything for ADD?

Sometimes. I usedta get scripts for Ritalin from a shrink but that was a real hassle. A friend goes to Mexico once in awhile and picks a few up for me, but that's expensive. I just have to get around to going to my doctor and asking for it I guess. Wanna put down bets on how long that'll take?
Ritalin works really well for me, aside from some minor side effects (sleeplessness - pot helps with that though! lol - and lack of appetite which really isn't a bad thing). I do occasionally have some attitude problems when I'm coming off it, and even worse when I'm coming off it and PMS'ing at the same time.
I like that I can focus on the boring stuff and get shit done while I'm on it, but I have to be really careful about what I focus on.... playing solitaire on the computer is not the correct choice of thing to focus on, btw, especially for eight hours straight Also, it seems to me that it shuts down the creative side of my mind while I'm on it. Good thing is one dose only lasts 4 hours so I can pick and choose when to take it.
It's taken me six years to get here but today I like my "ADD self." With or without medication I'm a happy, creative, intelligent, adventurous, caring and hard working person. Just being there makes the 30+ years of thinking I was a lazy worthless piece of shit worthwhile. pull and flare,
lisa

[MarkF 0]

This is gonna sound (read) harsh, man..... But here goes anyway... I'm not gonna mention your parents, this is YOUR problem so YOU have to deal with it, OK ? I can't be dismissed as an ignoramous where cannibis is concerned either, I've been smoking around an ounce every 6 or 8 weeks for better (or worse) than 30 years.
GET OFF THE WEED or at least limit your intake. You are blinkered by your smoking so much that you seem unable to deal with life without the chemical crutch. Cannibis IS psychologically addictive, don't try and convince yourself or your parents that it isn't.
Cannibis has a marked impact on all aspects of human performance. Kelly has seen first hand what it can do to motorists. I KNOW first hand how _I'm_ effected. Reflexes are slowed, perceptions are skewed, blood pressure rises, metabolic rate alters (to a near disastrous point for heavy diabetics) etc.
Treat yourself to a little experiment or two... Stay straight for a few days, 3 days MINIMUM is required for your system to purge itself completely of cannibis products. Pick on an activity that demands concentration and hand-eye co-ordination. The game of darts is a good indicator. Measure your perfomance whilst completely cannibis free, suck a few cones or a medium spliff and try the experiment again. See what I mean ? Next try an activity that requires your reflexes to be pretty well up there. Again try it cannibis free and again after a few cones. See ?? Next try something that requires thought and planning like chess or backgammon. Play straight and again stoned. See ?? You get stoned and then get the munchies, right ? Try a few hours of researching a subject that you aren't particulary interested in. Have a few cones and continue the research. Look at the quality of research before and after cones. See ?? All of these simple things can prove just HOW much cannibis affects you.
Now let me ask you a simple question. Would you jump immediately after sucking a few cones or a decent spliff ? If you would NOT jump, why not ? If you would jump, why ?
So what to do. Well you've clearly shat in your own nest leaving you with two and only two possibilities. Either straighten up your act or get out. Either way you'll need to support YOURSELF without relying on others. Perhaps learn to pack and take a tent off to a busy DZ. Perhaps pumping gas or even perhaps working for the golden arches mob. Don't like tjose ideas ? Well stiff. Find some way to support yourself WITHOUT bringing any more ill feeling into your life. Lastly don't whine, do something positive.
Remember that the most common cry from a heavy dope smoker is "Nobody understands me." The answer from non-tokers is - well if you made more sense we may be able to work something out. You seem like an alcoholic in denial, work on it.
Ooroo
Mark F...

[Milo 0]

Dude,
Your subject line says it all.
There comes a time when you have to leave your parents. Their focus is all out of whack, they can't see who you are as a person because they are looking into your pores.
You can't 'talk' them into looking at you differently, you have to leave and give them the opportunity to observe you from afar.
Yeah, it is no fun paying your own rent, but if you want to stay sane it is the only option.
Milo

[Ducky 0]

Short sweet and simple.... The only thing we as humans have the power to change in the world in which we live is ourselves. Change in all forms comes from within. Look in the mirror and get to work. I' not saying your a bad paerson or that there is anything wrong with you. You alone know the answers.
Iam by no means making a recomendation on your drug use, career choices, family life or otherwise only your happiness.
Good Luck,
Chris

[jfields 0]

Chickenhawk,
This might not be what you want to hear, but I'm going to chime in with Mike, Kelly, Fred and others.
Life is all about responsibility and choice. You can do whatever you want, as long as you take responsibility for your actions. You want to smoke pot frequently despite the negative effects? Fine. That is your choice. Just suck up and take responsibility for your actions. Don’t expect other people to support you. Don’t whine about not being able to find (or hold) a decent job. Don’t whine about not having enough cash to skydive. You made the choice, and you are stuck with the results.
I’m not going to debate the details about marijuana use with you. Leaving out the addiction issue (because I’m not knowledgeable about it), I’ll focus on three indisputable facts:
1) Pot costs money that could be better spent, in your situation.
2) Smoking pot regularly will decrease your ability to find and hold jobs.
3) Frequent smoking of marijuana (or tobacco) isn’t good for you.
Why wouldn’t your parents be annoyed? I’m sure supporting a child because that same child can’t support himself isn’t what they want to be doing with their money. Your behavior is infringing on their choices and limiting their life. That sucks. If you were living on your own, supporting yourself, they would have a lot less to bitch about. For that matter, so would you.
Take a hard look at how you are living. Is it what you want? (Probably not.) Start making changes to enable you to get where you want. I worked hard to get through school, including a lot of night school while holding a full time job. I found a good job that utilizes my skills. Working hard at my job has rewarded me with raises and bonuses. Now, I can go for a weekend at the DZ when I want. If I feel like bullshitting and socializing instead of packing my gear, I can pay to have it done. My effort has paid off by giving me the choice to do mostly whatever I want. Your choice of habitual marijuana use appears to have closed off most of your other options. However, you can still choose to quit.
A friendly link for you: http://www.marijuana-anonymous.org/
End of rant. I hope you work things out. There are people willing to help if you let them.
Justin
My Homepage

[scottbre 0]

I am going to have to agree with the general concensus on this one.
Look at it this way...
Would you want to work 40 hours a week at a job and then turn around and use a large chunk of that money that you have earned to support someone who seems to make it abundantly clear they don't want to be around you? While at the same time this person is more than happy to use your money with impunity to do all sorts of things, including supporting a drug habit, but never showing any outward productivity or motivation and continue to rail on about how you just don't "understand them."
You may think that you know more about your life and what is best for it than your parents, but more than likely that just isn't true. They are older and have had much more life experience than you. You aren't the first person to feel how you do. If you want to move out and completely support yourself and then complain about how unsupportive your parents are, fine. But don't whine about how life has dealt you a crappy hand when your parents still finance your lifestyle and all they want in return is to see their son develop into a good and productive person.
Sorry for the harshness, but do a little bit more growing up (with your own money and resources) before you decide your parents are know-nothings.
"Can't keep my mind from the circling sky. Tongue-tied & twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I."

[SkyDekker 1,153]

This is starting to sound (read) like an echo, but I have to agree with the general consensus on this thread. As you said yourself, people cannot expect you to change. Hence, you can also not expect others to change, ie. your parents' attitude towards pot smoking.
Growing up in Holland, with very liberal views of pot and other soft drugs, I agree with you that there is no physical addiction to pot smoking. There is however a definite mental addiction. And give me a break, how can you say it does not affect you??? Why the hell do you smoke it????
I would suggest that you asve this post and the replies, print it and keep it in a safe place. Then 10 years form now, find it and read it. You will either laugh your ass off, or be too stoned to understand it.
One last word, if you live in someone's house and they give oyu money, they set the rules. You don't like that, then don't live in their house and don't take their money.
I hope and am sure it will all work out for you. You may want to start with changing your writing style just a little bit. It may make it easier for not so smart people like myself to read.
SkyDekker
"We cannot do great things, only small things with great love" Mother Theresa