ladyskydiver 0 #1 December 4, 2003 By the time the Lord made woman, he was into His sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?..." And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?... She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -- and she will do everything with only two hands." The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish." "But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days." The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish." "Will she be able to think?", asked the angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate." The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one." "That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked. The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride." The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing." And she is!... Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can help to heal a broken heart. Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning! They bring joy and hope. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chopchop 0 #2 December 4, 2003 Quotehave a lap that can hold four children at one time How can she have a lap that big and still have the requisite fine ass? I hope that's a typo! chopchop gotta go... Plaything needs a spanking.. Lotsa Pictures Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #3 December 4, 2003 QuoteThe heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning! They bring joy and hope. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give. We wouldn't be where we are without women. Now how's that for sucking up? Actually I truly do believe that we as a society would be better off if we listened a gave women more credit than what we men have given women over time in our history. Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #4 December 4, 2003 Ie Yi Yi!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #5 December 4, 2003 Slap your head all you want. Men are the perpetrators of violence and war, not women. Of course if we were all women, the malls would be more dangerous than Iraq. Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #6 December 4, 2003 QuoteSlap your head all you want. Men are the perpetrators of violence and war, not women. Of course if we were all women, the malls would be more dangerous than Iraq. OK, so Cleopatra was a guy, right? Power corrupts - that is just the way it is. Your gender does not a pacifist make. You might think that women don't want war - but you put enough of them together and a war starts somewhere, somehow. I can see it now: Aide: "Mrs. "Leader of a country", the prime minister of "Another Country" says that she will not comply with your wishes, and said to relay the message that she will never, ever do so." Mrs. "Leader of a country", "Oh, no She Didn't! Fuck that bitch" and somewhere a button gets pushed, and then there is one less country in this world.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #7 December 4, 2003 Never been to a shoe sale, have ya? "40% off" is wrastlin' words. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #8 December 4, 2003 Good Post You just made me think of my mom She is the best I love my momyI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio 0 #9 December 4, 2003 Dammit!! I Was waiting for the punchline... and there isn't one. Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast! Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool! bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
champu 1 #10 December 4, 2003 I don't know why, but every time I read that passage I'm reminded of this joke Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
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