gary350 0 #1 December 4, 2003 Reading Steve1's post about the asshole highway patrolman made me think of this article. IMHO it is great advice - to my way of thinking it's just common sense. Of course some of it is just the luck of the draw, like not getting pulled over by a cop who is primed (as perhaps Steve1 did). But regardless of luck, it can't hurt to maximize your chances. It's a bit long, but well worth the time to read: http://www.ehowa.com/mythoughts/nospeeding.shtml Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #2 December 4, 2003 I had a neighbor once who flew for Continetal. He drove a vette. He was once pulled over on a long stretch of highway between Hou & Austin. The DPS Officer asked him how fast he was going etc.. etc.. Brian told him.. I was going 112mph sir.. Officer asked to see his DL and Insurance papers, then out of the blue asked to see his pilots license. Brian whips out his offical pilots license.. Officer looks .. looks again, starts cracking up and let's him go... "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TribalTalon 0 #3 December 4, 2003 oh its easy. Just spit alot and stutter like crazy to just get a word out. make sure you cover the officer in plenty of spittle.. he'll run back to his car for cover and let ya go. not like i would know or anything. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gary350 0 #4 December 4, 2003 A couple choice paragraphs. It's worked for me - the last two times I've been pulled over, the encounter ended with the cop saying something like "your honesty is going to get you just a warning tonight. . . " ==================================================== Part II. "How to react in case you do get pulled over for speeding" ==================================================== (a) 90% of the cops out there are NOT assholes. (c) Let me say this one more time... Cops are not assholes. If one has pulled you over? Guess what dumb dick, you deserved to be pulled over. You were speeding. This whole, "I wasn't speeding you must have measured someone else" excuse? Bullshit. "Your radar readings were off because I was too close to high power lines." Donkey Dumplings. The purpose of a cop on traffic duty is not to arbitrarily bust the balls of anyone doing 56 in a 55 zone. The purpose of a cop on traffic duty is not to blindly sweep the broadsword of justice in an attempt top raise revenue for his town. The purpose of a cop on traffic duty is to keep the assholes who do drive their cars like fucking nut jobs from smashing into the vehicles filled with our moms, dads, wives, husbands, and children. If a fucking cop pulls you over, there's a fucking reason. Don't be a piece of shit and deny it, because you're only kidding yourself. Bottom line was you WERE speeding. Be it by 5 , 15 , or 500 miles an hour, you were speeding. So shut the fuck up and take your medicine. (f) Playing Dumb. One word. Don't. "Oh gee officer, I was passing everyone like they were standing fucking still, I've left a pile of wrecked cars behind me, but I have no idea why you're pulling me over. >innocent blink< >innocent blink<" Any excuse you can possibly come up with, trust me, that cop's already heard a dozen times already. (Granted, the one guy who intentionally shit his pants as he got pulled over, and then got out of the ticket by convincing the cop he had diarrhea, was rather resourceful). Don't piss the cop off by making then take the extra effort to explain why you're a dumbass. These excuses will not work: "I'm late for work/doctor/pick kids up/whatever", "I was going with the flow of traffic", "You must be mistaken I wasn't driving 75mph", "I thought the speed limit was 80, officer", "Well *my friend* the town selectman said he was going to raise the speed limit on this road". Try to use them and your next excuse will be to your boss because you have to take time off work for traffic court. This excuse has the best chance of success: "You're right officer, I was going a little fast. I was distracted and I can assure you it wasn't intentional and that it will not happen again." Not that aiming a 4,000 hunk of metal down the road while you fiddle fuck with your radio stations is necessarily a good practice, but the cop will respect you for coming clean and not wasting his time by breaking his balls. Cops respect honesty. Not the "Well, I've had 18 beers and fuck you too" type of honesty, but rather the "well, you fucking caught me, now what?" honesty. Pretending you don't know the speed limit, or thought the speed limit was 5-10 miles over what it really is, or just driving as fast as everyone else -- ain't gonna get you dick shit. Trust me, trust me, trust me. You ain't fucking fooling them. Best to spill the beans and hope to catch a break then to feed him a line of shit that's going to give him indigestion and make him irritable. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #5 December 4, 2003 I'll tell you my tip for beating it in court. I couldn't get out of the initial ticket, because it was a big, targeted speed trap pulling over and ticketing every single car on the road, including a school bus. But.... I went to court. The judge said, "Officer John Smith reported he clocked you with VASCAR going 35 in a 25mph zone. Officer Smith is trained in the use of this equipment and has been tested on its use twice in the past year. The equipment was calibrated 3 weeks prior to this incident. What possible defense do you have?" "Your honor, I don't have a defense. I admit what I did was wrong. I'm just looking for some leniency. I can't afford the increase in insurance this will cause. I was going 35 in a 25 zone, but I was going with the flow of traffice. Every car on the road was pulled over and ticketed, that should be some indication. If the intent of the speed trap that day was to get people to slow down on that stretch of road, it has worked on me and I won't be going over the speed limit there any more. I'm just hoping to not be financially burdened by an insurance increase.", I said. The judge continued, "Well, you weren't going as fast as a lot of the others that day. Where were you going that day? I see you live and work in another part of town and this was the middle of the work day." My reply of, "I was on my way back to work after delivering Meals On Wheels during my lunch break.", resulted in the cop putting his head in his hands and the judge saying, "Well, I think we can let you go with failure to obey traffic control devices. That's a $50 fine and no points." I WAS delivering meals on wheels. But, hell, even if I weren't, I know to use that excuse now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jeremyneas 0 #6 December 5, 2003 That site is some serious hardcore bad advice!!! Ok boys and girls, here's the skinny if you get pulled over. First You don't say shit...NOTHING "Anything you say CAN AND WILL be used in a court of law" sound familier?!? So if you say "your right officer...boom yo' guilty. But lets go to the officers first question... "Do you know why I pulled you over?" And you babble something off to get some pity. Instead you should say "I have NO IDEA officer" Because (everybody now) "anything...you...say...can...and...will...be...used...against...you...in...a...court...of...law" Don't you think cops are trained to remember everything you admit to. Second Next question. "Do you know how fast you were going?" The answer? "THE LIMIT" I want all you fellow skydivers to listen and listen good. The ONLY information you have to tell the officer is your name and address. Everything else you can leave up to in court. Third AHHHH now on to court...most cities you don't deal with a prosecutor or judge, you deal with the cop that pulled you over. Oh and he'll remember you becuase you were one of the smart ones. Most of the time you can have the ticket reduced to almost nothing, becuase if you go to jury trial, no matter how much evidence is against you...IT'S A FUCKIN CRAP SHOOT. (Imagine being a prosecutor and trying to convince 12 fellow Americans that your poor ass should be fined while the big government takes a bite out of joe taxpayer...hard? you fuckin right!)And the court does not want to risk a $5000.00+ trial to deal with your piddly $120 ticket. So two things before you "Sorry officer, I wasn't paying attention to the speedometer...bla...bla..." 1) SHUT THE FUCK UP 2) FIGHT IT IN COURT Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fudd 0 #7 December 5, 2003 Well....girls may get away with this one: Pull your top off so the first thing the police officer sees when he walks over is a toppless woman... Then say: I was going so fast that my top blew right off...is this going to be bad??? You could get away with it, or it might get you in even more troubble. The police officer will at least have a story to tell during his lunchbreak There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #8 December 5, 2003 Not sure I agree with you JEREMY! But nice thorough post...any hew.... I got pulled over leaving Jen's Wednesday night and I don't believe in "not saying anything"...I believe in diversion tactics. So, I told the cop that I was just looking for a Taco Bell...going 70 in a 50! Whew... but it worked. He gave me directions to the next Taco Bell and told me to just watch my speed from now on. "Yes, sir...I will...thank you" and I was on my way. Diversion and being funny has gotten me off the hook atleast once/year..clean record! Smiling helps too! 'member if ya act skeered, freaked out, guilty...YOU mostlikely ARE! and cops feed on that! If you make them laugh or distract them from the attitude that they're a bad ass about to write a ticket, your chances are you'll change the outcome. _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chuteless 1 #9 December 5, 2003 a friend of mine was caught by police radar speeding very fast. The cop came up to his car and said, " I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you" my friend replied " Well, I got here as fast as I could" The cop started to laugh and let him go. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #10 December 5, 2003 Quotea friend of mine was caught by police radar speeding very fast. The cop came up to his car and said, " I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you" my friend replied " Well, I got here as fast as I could" The cop started to laugh and let him go. See!...what'd I tell ya about humor! Works most every time! _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #11 December 5, 2003 Funny, same thing happened to a "friend of mine". In fact, I've seen or hear about a dozen different people talk about "friends of mine" that used that same line. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #12 December 5, 2003 A really good one for both boys and girls is: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" "No, officer. But I REALLY NEED TO PEE!" Like Philly said, usually you will lose in court if the cop shows up, but you might get the penalty adjusted. Not in Hayward, California, though. The court commisioner who was there found every offender guilty after giving them one last chance to go to traffic school. Another thing in California, once pen is put to cite pad, you are getting the ticket. It's a misdemeanor on the part of the cop to take back either a parking ticket or a moving violation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
