Kinda long but funny...

[tumbler 0]

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

The professor told his class one day:

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to
his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write
the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that
paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first
paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back,
so sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third
paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been
written each time in order to keep the story coherent.

There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is
over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca) At first,
Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that
he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was
out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think
about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie
with whom
he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S.
Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator.
"Polar orbit established.
No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman
who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary ) Little did she know, but she had less than 10
seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks
who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the
congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours
after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no
one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The
lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off
the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which
vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a
self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall
I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm
such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)
Asshole.

(Gary)
Bitch

(Rebecca)
F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.

(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one.

[Airbender 0]

nice

[Rebecca 0]

I LOVE that one! Well, except for her being Rebecca. No real Rebecca would have ever started a blank page debating Chamomile tea! Psh! As IF!!

Let's make our own story! (Please spell and punctuate properly.)



"How do I always end up in these situations?" she thought. Bound at the ankles and wrists, her captors were eyeing her greedily, torn between the promise of the massive bounty for her 'unspoiled' delivery to the Cobra, and the lust her lithe writhing form was inspiring in their evil hearts. J wasn't worried, but her captors should have been. They had no idea who they were dealing with.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[Bolas 5]

At the same time, the J's leftovers club was meeting for their weekly bitch and cry. The members seemed to be ever increasing, but the story was always the same: "She was the best ever, I'm spoiled for all other women." They would hug, drink tea, and then eat finger sandwiches since they were now all gay.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[ACMESkydiver 0]

That's fuggin' hilarious!!

Ok, since I'm a chick, I can't respond to Rebecca's paragraph, so I'll just wait quietly over here
<---.



Tap.
Tap, Tap.
Tap, Tap, Tap.
Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap.
Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[Rebecca 0]

Quote

At the same time, the J's leftovers club was meeting for their weekly bitch and cry. The members seemed to be ever increasing, but the story was always the same: "She was the best ever, I'm spoiled for all other women." They would hug, drink tea, and then eat finger sandwiches since they were now all gay.

Breaking men was but one of her many talents, a fact her captors would soon realize. Though the rope was expertly tied, the razors under her blood-red nails made short work of it...

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[Bolas 5]

Quote

"How do I always end up in these situations?" she thought. Bound at the ankles and wrists, her captors were eyeing her greedily, torn between the promise of the massive bounty for her 'unspoiled' delivery to the Cobra, and the lust her lithe writhing form was inspiring in their evil hearts. J wasn't worried, but her captors should have been. They had no idea who they were dealing with.

At the same time, the J's leftovers club was meeting for their weekly bitch and cry. The members seemed to be ever increasing, but the story was always the same: "She was the best ever, I'm spoiled for all other women." They would hug, drink tea, and then eat finger sandwiches since they were now all gay.

Breaking men was but one of her many talents, a fact her captors would soon realize. Though the rope was expertly tied, the razors under her blood-red nails made short work of it...

The men in the group were conflicted over paying the men to kidnap her and sell her into slavery, but then they remembered their shattered manhood and reminded themselves she must be stopped.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[srsublime 0]

LMAO!!!! That was GREAT! Geeze, where do y'all find these things?

Orfun #21... thanks PsychoBob!

[masterrig 1]

Quote

I LOVE that one! Well, except for her being Rebecca. No real Rebecca would have ever started a blank page debating Chamomile tea! Psh! As IF!!

Let's make our own story! (Please spell and punctuate properly.)



"How do I always end up in these situations?" she thought. Bound at the ankles and wrists, her captors were eyeing her greedily, torn between the promise of the massive bounty for her 'unspoiled' delivery to the Cobra, and the lust her lithe writhing form was inspiring in their evil hearts. J wasn't worried, but her captors should have been. They had no idea who they were dealing with.

__________________________________________

Dayum! Not bad! you could write romance novels!


Chuck