chaoskitty 0 #1 September 21, 2005 Scenario: You are single and out and about in the dating scene. You are dating 2 or 3 or however many people.. but its all good because youre casually dating all of them. Your personality/morals preclude you from having sex with more than one of these people you are dating. Q: Is it fair to ask the partner you have chosen to sleep with you and only you, while both of you are "allowed" to date others? ie: "You can date other people, but you can only sleep with me, and I can date other people but I will only sleep with you". That is until, of course, they, or one of the other people turns in to a more serious relationship. (Yes, I have my opinion, but I'm trying to be objective here.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #2 September 21, 2005 To me its to dangerous to mix casual dating and sex...Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #3 September 21, 2005 I'd say fair but not really sustainable."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TomAiello 25 #4 September 21, 2005 I think it depends a lot on your gender. Guys like to have the casual sex. Girls like to have the casual dating. Guys tend to view the date as the work, and the sex as the reward. Girls tend to view the sex as the work, and the date as the reward. It sounds a bit like asking him to do all the work, but not get the rewards, while you get all the rewards without doing the work.-- Tom Aiello [email protected] SnakeRiverBASE.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
prepheckt 0 #5 September 21, 2005 First of all, you can ask that, but the odds that your partner will follow that (unless you're fuck buddies, but that's another story). How could you ensure that they will only sleep with you? Put a monitor on them? I say it's unfair, just from the health perspective. I'm all for getting laid, both well and often, but even I have standards; they're low but they're there. CK, what is your opinion?"Dancing Argentine Tango is like doing calculus with your feet." -9 toes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #6 September 21, 2005 It's fair, but it's weird. I could never do that. If you only want to have sex with one of them, then that's probably an indication that you don't really like the other one and are just killing time, keeping them on the back burner . . . know what I mean? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #7 September 21, 2005 QuoteI'd say fair but not really sustainable. Ill second that. Its doable, but trust can easily become and issue, and once that goes... well its just gonna get messy then. Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #8 September 21, 2005 I am kind of old school so maybe that’s why I don’t get this. If you decide to fuck someone but want to date others it means basically your only interest is sex. So why not have sex with others. If you are not interested in having a serious relationship why only fuck/sorry make love to one person why the restriction?I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #9 September 21, 2005 QuoteGuys tend to view the date as the work, and the sex as the reward. Girls tend to view the sex as the work, and the date as the reward. Generalize much? I think you're probably right that women on the whole may be less likely to be comfortable with a casual sex arrangement, but there certainly are a lot who can handle it and might prefer it. I think you have to know yourself and what you're comfortable with. Me personally? I don't find casual sex arrangements to be sustainable. But to say that we view sex as "work" ... well... wow. Last time I checked, if you're doing it right, it's a hell of a lot of fun!"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #10 September 21, 2005 QuoteCK, what is your opinion? My opinion is that its not fair. I wouldn't ask a guy who I'm only interested in casually to be with only me, when I'm going out with other guys. Nor would I trust him to be with only me if hes going out with other girls. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #11 September 21, 2005 QuoteNor would I trust him to be with only me if hes going out with other girls. Bingo. I think if he's having sex with you, then he's having sex with the other girls too, or wants to.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
prepheckt 0 #12 September 21, 2005 QuoteQuoteCK, what is your opinion? My opinion is that its not fair. I wouldn't ask a guy who I'm only interested in casually to be with only me, when I'm going out with other guys. Nor would I trust him to be with only me if hes going out with other girls. Sounds like what your describing is a casual sex arrangement, rather then casual dating. Correct me if I'm wrong."Dancing Argentine Tango is like doing calculus with your feet." -9 toes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shotgun 1 #13 September 21, 2005 QuoteQ: Is it fair to ask the partner you have chosen to sleep with you and only you, while both of you are "allowed" to date others? Sure, why not? It's fair to ask and tell them what you want; hopefully they will be honest with you about whether they would be comfortable with that situation or not. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpchikk 0 #14 September 21, 2005 It's not fair. If you aren't in a relationship, then you can't say anything to the other person about who they can sleep with and vice versa. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #15 September 21, 2005 If I am casually dating more than one person, I'm not having sex with any of them. If I'm having sex with someone, I won't be casually dating anyone else, and I would expect the same from him. Maybe I'm just too old for the whole casual sex thing! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skychick312 0 #16 September 21, 2005 If you are asking 1 of the people that you are "casually"dating to only sleep with you then you are wanting more in the terms of a relationship and just not saying it.... If that is the case then come out and say it don't beat around the bush! Sleeping with one person generally indicates the "realtinship" is now exclusive.... Casual dating does not include casual sex... There are always more feelings that come with being sexual intimate with someone (well 9 times out of 10)... Keep that in mind, and IMO I think this is a very very bad idea!! Not fair to want to see other ppl but only sleep with one. If you want it that way then bite the bullet and start dating!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Be the change you wish to see in the world! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bobster 0 #17 September 21, 2005 Damn Chaos, your putting in a lot of effort just to find a f*ck buddy. So where do I put in an application?_________________________________________ Boboso Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
goose491 0 #18 September 21, 2005 If you want to sleep with him but still date the others, it's clear that the potential is there that you will someday want to sleep with the others. I suppose that's the day "the one you've chosen" (lol) gets to hear either that: a) you've changed your mind about him not being allowed to sleep around or b) you've decided you can't sleep with him anymore as you'll be test drivin' another for a while... but he can still date you while you're doing so! (also lol) What I find unfair is that you're trying to set ground rules for him... while casual dating. Run it by him though, as the ABSOLUTE bottom line is Nothing is unfair that all parties agree to. My Karma ran over my Dogma!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #19 September 21, 2005 QuoteDamn Chaos, your putting in a lot of effort just to find a f*ck buddy. So where do I put in an application? Ok dingbat.. this is not MY situation. Particularly since I'm arguing against it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shotgun 1 #20 September 21, 2005 QuoteGuys tend to view the date as the work, and the sex as the reward. Girls tend to view the sex as the work, and the date as the reward. ??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #21 September 21, 2005 If you only have sex when you are in love, then this is rarely an issue. Sex without love seems to always be regretted. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #22 September 21, 2005 Quote Sex without love seems to always be regretted. On what planet?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
namgrunt 0 #23 September 21, 2005 QuoteTo me its to dangerous to mix casual dating and sex... I told you my lisamarie was smart ..and good looking lisamarie you done good daddy bob ..59 YEARS,OVERWEIGHT,BALDIND,X-GRUNT LAST MIL. JUMP VIET-NAM(QUAN-TRI) www.dzmemories.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #24 September 21, 2005 QuoteIf I am casually dating more than one person, I'm not having sex with any of them. If I'm having sex with someone, I won't be casually dating anyone else, and I would expect the same from him. Maybe I'm just too old for the whole casual sex thing! Bingo! Thats the right way to do it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #25 September 21, 2005 LOL .... thanks Daddy Bob Jeesh, does Clay have you on offical "boost LMs ego" duty?Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
