boinky 0 #1 December 30, 2005 *Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? *Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? *Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? *Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? *Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? *Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? *Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but duck when you throw a revolver at him? *Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? *Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? *If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? *Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? *Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? *Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? *Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? *Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? *How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? *Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? *In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? *Why do you never hear father-in-law jokes?Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lifewithoutanet 0 #2 December 30, 2005 Quote*Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? I recently heard about a guy who developed Zubbles. The pretty cool story about it is here. -C. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #3 December 30, 2005 Why not?This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #4 December 30, 2005 That is freakin' AWESOME!!! Thank you for sharing that with us! Mike, baby...will you buy me some? Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #5 December 30, 2005 Those are cool!!Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
seekfun 0 #6 December 30, 2005 Quote*Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Well, here's your answer: Colored Bubbles ~ topher"...there is a there out there..." - Tom Robbins Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #7 December 30, 2005 QuoteThe secret to nonstaining colored bubbles is ... [making] color disappear. i likethat ... it sounds a lot like douglas adams ... The secret to flying is to fall, and not hit the ground.This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #8 December 30, 2005 Quote*Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Because it's difficult to mess with Ultimate Chaos, but who can pass up the chance to mess up fresh paint? Edited to add: Making up answers to rhetorical questions can be fun. Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #9 December 30, 2005 We all know wool itches...why don't sheep scratch? & why don't sheep shrink when it rains? If you put a sheep in a dryer will it come out with a fro?Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #10 December 30, 2005 Where does that other sock go?Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #11 December 30, 2005 the sheep took it back?Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #12 December 30, 2005 I don't wear wool socks.Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #13 December 30, 2005 Why do we spend more time searching for the remote than it would take to just get up & change the channel?Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #14 December 30, 2005 Why give death row inmates a last meal?Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #15 December 30, 2005 Quote*Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Especially Super GlueSkymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #16 December 30, 2005 Quote*Why do you never hear father-in-law jokes? Because they're saints for putting up with mother-in-laws, silly!Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #17 December 30, 2005 Why do toy manufacturers put, "some assembly required", when they really mean, "A lot of assembly required"?Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #18 December 30, 2005 Why are parking spaces getting smaller as cars keep getting larger?Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #19 December 30, 2005 Oh & lets not forget about the McDonald's sign, "Parking for Drive Thru Customers Only"...what the hell is that all about? Why the hell isn't McDonald's on the spell check list?Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NlghtJumper 0 #20 December 30, 2005 The classic: "Why do we drive on the parkway, and park on the driveway?" ---- Just curious... Why do the front of the new "bulletproof" plates in the IBA say "Handle with care"? Why can't bulletproof vests protect against knives? [A lot of Darwin Award candidates have asked this] A man will do anything for the right woman, and when that woman destroys him, that man will become a hunk of meat with the common sense of a rodeo clown! ~ Christopher Titus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #21 December 30, 2005 I should really try DecafSkymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #22 December 30, 2005 Quote -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In Reply To -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Why do you never hear father-in-law jokes? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Because they're saints for putting up with mother-in-laws, silly! OUCHIE!!!! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #23 December 30, 2005 QuoteOUCHIE!!!! Oops! Forgot you're a Mother-in-law...sorry.Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #24 December 30, 2005 QuoteI should really try Decaf Either that...or you need to get a life! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #25 December 30, 2005 QuoteEither that...or you need to get a life! And the referee steps in to take a point off for a low blow.Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
