waltappel 1 #1 October 26, 2006 Yesterday I was accused of being a SNAG, i.e., a Sensitive New Age Guy. That is like receiving a social death sentence. It's like a guy telling a woman "you have a GREAT personality", or a woman telling a guy, "I LOVE having you as a friend". It sucks!!!!! It also puts me at risk of having my guy card taken away. So, with that in mind... I want a woman I can control--one who will be sweet and subservient and will shut the hell up and do what I say. She's got to be one of the few women left who understand that she needs a man in her life to tell her when she's gained too much weight or is too bitchy or doesn't dress sexy enough. She's gotta do all the cooking and cleaning and bring me and my buddies beer and sandwiches so we won't miss a second of the big game. She needs to also realize that her responsibilities include cheering me and my buddies on during bowling tournaments and understand that it is important for me to spend time at the bar. It's a lot of work, but not without its rewards. The right woman in my life will have the privileges of: * Having sex with me anytime I want * Packing my rig between jumps * Listening to all the details of my day (far more interesting than hers!) * Shave my hairy back * Clean and cook the dead animals I bring back from my hunting and fishing trips. * Bathe my dogs and take them to the vet * Pop the zits and blackheads on my back that I can't reach. The list goes on. Really, it's a great deal for the right woman! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stiffler 0 #2 October 26, 2006 http://www.russianbrides.com/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #3 October 26, 2006 If you're a sensitive new age guy are you sure you can handle killing some dead animals?This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #4 October 26, 2006 QuoteIf you're a sensitive new age guy are you sure you can handle killing some dead animals? No problem. I'll feed 'em some roofies before I shoot 'em. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SmilingPhoenix 0 #5 October 26, 2006 Oh damn, I've ruined your life already - you should have known I was no good from the minute you met me - but I have to say I think that is record time for me... PS - For all of the women out there who think being a SNAG is a death sentence - I will say that having met Walt, it was one of the best, full body hugs I've had in a while - knowing how to please a woman is not a bad thing... even if you have to get him a beer first. PPS - Hope that helps Because life is an adventure - it may not be the one you planned, but then it wouldn't be an adventure! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stiffler 0 #6 October 26, 2006 QuoteQuoteIf you're a sensitive new age guy are you sure you can handle killing some dead animals? No problem. I'll feed 'em some roofies before I shoot 'em. Walt Roofies are so yesterday... no self respecting ladies man goes out without his GHb these days Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StreetScooby 5 #7 October 26, 2006 Quote She's gotta do all the cooking and cleaning and bring me and my buddies beer and sandwiches sammiches so we won't miss a second of the big game. Fixed it for ya' We are all engines of karma Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #8 October 26, 2006 Quote* Bathe my dogs and take them to the vet. you don't have a dog... I'm sorry walt... its too late for you... there's no recovering from the place you have been put in the eyes of the women on this site and in the world... (maybe you should repost/link some of your old stories... that'll show these women who you really are... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
groundrush134 0 #9 October 26, 2006 You prolly...(yes prolly) have a better shot at the lotto!~~~> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #10 October 26, 2006 QuotePS - For all of the women out there who think being a SNAG is a death sentence - I will say that having met Walt, it was one of the best, full body hugs I've had in a while - knowing how to please a woman is not a bad thing... even if you have to get him a beer first. PPS - Hope that helps I don't think that is helping his situation... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stitch 0 #11 October 26, 2006 Hey Walt, see if she has a sister for me!!!!!"No cookies for you"- GFD "I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65 Don't be a "Racer Hater" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SmilingPhoenix 0 #12 October 26, 2006 QuoteQuotePS - For all of the women out there who think being a SNAG is a death sentence - I will say that having met Walt, it was one of the best, full body hugs I've had in a while - knowing how to please a woman is not a bad thing... even if you have to get him a beer first. PPS - Hope that helps I don't think that is helping his situation... Ah, what the hell, it's really all a ploy to keep him for myself!Because life is an adventure - it may not be the one you planned, but then it wouldn't be an adventure! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stiffler 0 #13 October 26, 2006 www.adultfriendfinder.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #14 October 26, 2006 Quotewww.adultfriendfinder.com Hey Stiffler, I don't think he was looking specifically for your mom. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #15 October 26, 2006 QuoteAh, what the hell, it's really all a ploy to keep him for myself!well, why didn't you say so... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #16 October 26, 2006 QuoteHey Stiffler, I don't think he was looking specifically for your mom. Blues, Dave True. All guys know that getting involved with a mom can be a real gamble. Lots of women get strange ideas after having a kid or two. They think that it's ok to let their ass get too big and a lot of them cut their hair short. They don't realize that if we wanted a dykey-looking woman with a fat ass, we'd have married one. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stiffler 0 #17 October 26, 2006 QuoteQuotewww.adultfriendfinder.com Hey Stiffler, I don't think he was looking specifically for your mom. Blues, Dave oh my god !!!!!! a "your mom" joke i thought these had all been pensioned off and put in museums you're not going to follow it up with a "i fucked your mom" joke are you? that will be too much for me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stiffler 0 #18 October 26, 2006 QuoteQuoteHey Stiffler, I don't think he was looking specifically for your mom. Blues, Dave True. All guys know that getting involved with a mom can be a real gamble. Lots of women get strange ideas after having a kid or two. They think that it's ok to let their ass get too big and a lot of them cut their hair short. They don't realize that if we wanted a dykey-looking woman with a fat ass, we'd have married one. Walt you don't want a women who's had kids.... bit like waving your arm around in a warm room, better to go for one who's still nice and tight down there, not one with a wizzards sleeve Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #19 October 26, 2006 Hey, if Gloria Steinem can get married, this can happen for you. Keep the faith. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #20 October 26, 2006 QuoteQuoteQuotewww.adultfriendfinder.com Hey Stiffler, I don't think he was looking specifically for your mom. Blues, Dave oh my god !!!!!! a "your mom" joke i thought these had all been pensioned off and put in museums you're not going to follow it up with a "i fucked your mom" joke are you? that will be too much for me With the name Stiffler, I can see how they might seem old to you, but for the rest of us they're still easy game...just like your mom. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #21 October 26, 2006 QuoteOh damn, I've ruined your life already - you should have known I was no good from the minute you met me - but I have to say I think that is record time for me... PS - For all of the women out there who think being a SNAG is a death sentence - I will say that having met Walt, it was one of the best, full body hugs I've had in a while - knowing how to please a woman is not a bad thing... even if you have to get him a beer first. PPS - Hope that helps Yes, but have YOU had sex with him yet? *point* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SmilingPhoenix 0 #23 October 26, 2006 QuoteQuoteOh damn, I've ruined your life already - you should have known I was no good from the minute you met me - but I have to say I think that is record time for me... PS - For all of the women out there who think being a SNAG is a death sentence - I will say that having met Walt, it was one of the best, full body hugs I've had in a while - knowing how to please a woman is not a bad thing... even if you have to get him a beer first. PPS - Hope that helps Yes, but have YOU had sex with him yet? *point* I know better than to have sex with ANYONE on this forum! (Well, and admit to it publicly anyway )Because life is an adventure - it may not be the one you planned, but then it wouldn't be an adventure! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydivermom 0 #24 October 26, 2006 Okay Walt, I'm on my way to Houston with a really, really big shovel.Mrs. WaltAppel All things work together for good to them that love God...Romans 8:28 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #25 October 26, 2006 QuoteOkay Walt, I'm on my way to Houston with a really, really big shovel. It's true--skydiving chicks "dig" me! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
