JENNR8R 0 #1 December 30, 2007 BlueSkiesKel and her husband invited me to go to a swing dance. They are award-winning dancers, and I thought it would be a lot of fun to watch them. It was, but apparently wallflowers are not allowed. I lost count of the number of dances that I did with a bunch of guys who really knew the steps. Who would have thought that there was more to dancing than drinking a beer and swaying in an upright position while trying desperately not to fall down! It reminded me of a student that has just been cleared for self supervision jumping with someone with 1,000 jumps. I even did a three-way with Kelly and another guy! As we were leaving Kelly’s husband said that a guy was “so hitting on you.” Huh? His proof was that he was dancing in front of me all evening making sure that I was watching him. This guy wore a neon yellow shirt that was hard to miss. He danced with every woman there. Granted, he danced in front of me, but I figured that is just where he liked to dance. It never dawned on me that it was for my benefit. After the dance he mingled all over the room talking to different groups. At one point he gave me detailed directions to the location of the next dance. I would have thought that if he were interested in me, he would have asked me for my phone number. A male in bright plumage dancing in front of a chick may be an effective mating ritual for a bird, but it left me clueless. The drunk at a boogie who offered to take me to his trailer and lick me all over left no doubt in my mind that he was hitting on me. (The answer was “no,” but he got a kiss for the great visual!) Guys… What have you done to “hit on” a woman? What kind of response were you expecting? Gals... Have any good stories of when a guy was “hitting on” you? Where did it lead?What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #2 December 30, 2007 No great stories, but I surely liked yours!!! TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stitch 0 #3 December 30, 2007 Quote The drunk at a boogie who offered to take me to his trailer and lick me all over left no doubt in my mind that he was hitting on me. (The answer was “no,” but he got a kiss for the great visual!) Then why did you send him a Red Ryder BB gun?? "No cookies for you"- GFD "I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65 Don't be a "Racer Hater" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RALFFERS 0 #4 December 30, 2007 Quote No great stories Party pooper Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself - "from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #5 December 30, 2007 i never hit on woman.. but usually i end up being hit by womans purses.. “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JENNR8R 0 #6 December 30, 2007 Then why did you send him a Red Ryder BB gun?? Quote Different location.. different time... That wasn't a drunk, and he thought I was hitting on him. What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #7 December 30, 2007 You lost me after "husband". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #8 December 30, 2007 Quote You lost me after "husband". Get over it. Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #9 December 30, 2007 Quote Guys… What have you done to “hit on” a woman? What kind of response were you expecting? Being a master of the social blunder, at a young age I concluded that the only real possibility for success from *me* hitting on women would be if I were waving a stack of hundred dollar bills at a really desperate prostitute. Even then, it would a 50-50 thing. One of my finer attempts was when I was about 20 and had just graduated from nursing school. I got a little...ok, a *lot* drunk and, in my smoothest, most seductive voice told a 60 year old nursing instructor that she had a great rack for an old lady and I'd really like to have sex with her. Did it work? Uh, no. I did try a few more times over the years, though I struck out each time. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #10 December 30, 2007 Quote Quote You lost me after "husband". Get over it. Hey, Cocheese has a point. Ladies who are that sexy should keep their marriages in absolute secrecy so that us single guys can delude ourselves that we *might* have a chance!Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #11 December 30, 2007 This is going to take some time. I had no idea she had a husband. What am i going to do with the rings i bought and the skywriter guy. I paid some guy to write "Marry me Kelly" in the sky. And the wedding invitations..... Guess i should have met her first. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JENNR8R 0 #12 December 30, 2007 Quote This is going to take some time. I had no idea she had a husband. What am i going to do with the rings i bought and the skywriter guy. I paid some guy to write "Marry me Kelly" in the sky. And the wedding invitations..... Guess i should have met hit on her first. There fixed it for ya... What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #13 December 30, 2007 Quote Quote No great stories Party pooper Okay, let me rephrase. No great stories that I'm going to repeat. TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #14 December 30, 2007 Can't hit on someone that sweet...and married. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RALFFERS 0 #15 December 30, 2007 Quote Quote Quote No great stories Party pooper Okay, let me rephrase. No great stories that I'm going to repeat. I KNEW it!...You're not the angel you would have all of us believe... So, um.......how YOU doin'? Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself - "from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #16 December 30, 2007 Quote Quote Quote You lost me after "husband". Get over it. Hey, Cocheese has a point. Ladies who are that sexy should keep their marriages in absolute secrecy so that us single guys can delude ourselves that we *might* have a chance!Walt You're right. Shhh, don't tell anyone I'm married. Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
johan420 0 #17 December 30, 2007 Quote Being a master of the social blunder, at a young age I concluded that the only real possibility for success from *me* hitting on women would be if I were waving a stack of hundred dollar bills at a really desperate prostitute. Even then, it would a 50-50 thing. One of my finer attempts was when I was about 20 and had just graduated from nursing school. I got a little...ok, a *lot* drunk and, in my smoothest, most seductive voice told a 60 year old nursing instructor that she had a great rack for an old lady and I'd really like to have sex with her. Did it work? Uh, no. I did try a few more times over the years, though I struck out each time. oh man, nice one!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #18 December 30, 2007 [whisper]Hey, Cocheese--Lisa is single and she has the hots for you. Go for it![/whisper] Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #19 December 30, 2007 Cheese man, I thought this chick might be right for you but as soon as I saw the part about her staying away from "shallow and depraved encounters".... Plus I get the feeling she never shuts up.Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonstark 8 #20 December 30, 2007 I was in a neighborhood club in Pittsburgh in 74 when I overheard my Nam Vet room-mate hit on a girl with this... "Hey man. What's yer name?" She replied with the flattest... "Don't bother." One of my most enjoyable attempts was mostly to jerk that chain of an obvious gold digging group of girls at the airport bar in Deland. Once it involved a good sized wad of $100's which got the heretofore uninterested female to practically trip over herself to get my attention. The other was to plop my Mercedes keys on the bar which had the same affect. Neither got the time of day and I've got no game so neither did I. Just the joy of watching them about jump thru their assholes to get at my money. It was amazing the urchins that would come out when Aziz Ojai was in town to train with Tommy Piras. For those who might not know; Aziz had/has more money than God. jon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #21 December 30, 2007 Quote Cheese man, I thought this chick might be right for you but as soon as I saw the part about her staying away from "shallow and depraved encounters".... Plus I get the feeling she never shuts up.Walt Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billeisele 122 #22 December 30, 2007 Quote Quote Quote No great stories Party pooper Okay, let me rephrase. No great stories that I'm going to repeat. a young lady with such an innocent smile I knew there had to be more to this storyGive one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #23 December 30, 2007 I think this guy might be on the right track. I'm gonna have to try that. Ladies, if you want to be mocked, put down, have your self esteem flushed down the toilet *and* have the honor of doing my laundry, cleaning my apartment, telling me how cool I am, and giving me most of your hard-earned money, complete the application below: 1. Do you have a pulse? (Preference for sure, but not a deal breaker) 2. Do you have a job? (You must either have a job or be rich or both) 3. Will you put up with my shit and not complain? (Right answer is YES) 4. Can you cook? (Right answer is YES) 5. Will you keep my apartment and car spotless? (Right answer is YES) 6. After giving oral sex, do you expect the same from me?(Right answer is NO) 7. How long will it take you to get me a beer and a sammich? Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #24 December 30, 2007 Quote I think this guy might be on the right track. I'm gonna have to try that. Ladies, if you want to be mocked, put down, have your self esteem flushed down the toilet *and* have the honor of doing my laundry, cleaning my apartment, telling me how cool I am, and giving me most of your hard-earned money, complete the application below: 1. Do you have a pulse? (Preference for sure, but not a deal breaker) 2. Do you have a job? (You must either have a job or be rich or both) 3. Will you put up with my shit and not complain? (Right answer is YES) 4. Can you cook? (Right answer is YES) 5. Will you keep my apartment and car spotless? (Right answer is YES) 6. After giving oral sex, do you expect the same from me?(Right answer is NO) 7. How long will it take you to get me a beer and a sammich? Walt Thank goodness you don't drink beer. Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RALFFERS 0 #25 December 30, 2007 Quote Quote I think this guy might be on the right track. I'm gonna have to try that. Ladies, if you want to be mocked, put down, have your self esteem flushed down the toilet *and* have the honor of doing my laundry, cleaning my apartment, telling me how cool I am, and giving me most of your hard-earned money, complete the application below: 1. Do you have a pulse? (Preference for sure, but not a deal breaker) 2. Do you have a job? (You must either have a job or be rich or both) 3. Will you put up with my shit and not complain? (Right answer is YES) 4. Can you cook? (Right answer is YES) 5. Will you keep my apartment and car spotless? (Right answer is YES) 6. After giving oral sex, do you expect the same from me?(Right answer is NO) 7. How long will it take you to get me a beer and a sammich? Walt Thank goodness you don't drink beer. You got me all curious now... Btw, does your phone work?... Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself - "from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
