There's a giant lizard on the file cabinet.

[mouth 0]

Bill,

If something was wrong and it was a female she would tell you, trust me.

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

[Muenkel 0]

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It can look in two different directions at once.

That's usually a sign that it is of the male species. You know while driving how we can watch the road and check out a hot chic on the sidewalk at the same time. Whereas with females, if they are putting on their makeup, they're not watching the road at all.

_________________________________________
Chris

[Deuce 1]

Well, there's not a whole lot of expression on it's face. It is a little pale, though. I don't know what these things eat. We had about two dozen stale doughnut holes and it ate all of those, but now it's not the same color as the carpet anymore.

I don't blame it. The carpet is burnt orange. It looked cool when the Partridge Family was on primetime, but it doesn't look all that great on a giant lizard.

Uh, oh.

[skybytch 259]

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Whereas with females, if they are putting on their makeup, they're not watching the road at all.

What makes you think we're watching the road when we aren't putting on makeup?

[jfields 0]

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I want BillVon or one of our other resident genius's to tell me how to determine the sex of this thing.

It doesn't take a genuis.

Does the thing have boobies, or a penis?

Shit. That won't work. Clay allegedly had both.

Back to the drawing board....

[happythoughts 0]

Get some black drapes. The burnt orange and black color scheme. You can say it is because you are trying to create a Harley motif without getting a tattoo. Lizard poop will provide accent colors.

[jfields 0]

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The burnt orange and black color scheme. You can say it is because you are trying to create a Harley motif without getting a tattoo. Lizard poop will provide accent colors.

Or if you want to keep the poop consistent with the other colors, just feed it nothing but Tandoori Chicken. That will give you the burnt orange color you need.

[slim 0]

too much information

expirience?

>>>
A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!'

[happythoughts 0]

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Does the thing have boobies, or a penis?

Shit. That won't work. Clay allegedly had both.

"...sir, could you describe the alleged penis?"

[jfields 0]

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too much information

If you think that was TMI, why did you ask:

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expirience?

To give you further TMI, since you asked, yes.

Living on my own, I cooked in bulk and ate lots of leftovers. I made tandoori chicken and ate it for 4-5 meals in a row. The results were pretty impressive. I was going to send in a specimen for the Crayola Crayon color competitions, but I figured they would oxidize and change color before arrival.

Want to know anything else about the All-Tandoori diet, or its ramifications?

[jfields 0]

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Does the thing have boobies, or a penis?
Shit. That won't work. Clay allegedly had both.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"...sir, could you describe the alleged penis?"

No. Skreamer?

[Muenkel 0]

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What makes you think we're watching the road when we aren't putting on makeup?

Very good point. So, what are you looking at?

Chris

_________________________________________
Chris

[happythoughts 0]

At the convention, there is an ice cream booth that sells Superman ice cream. Bright blue, yellow, and red ice cream. Ate it every day. Imagine the results. "Hey... check this out..."

[Deuce 1]

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Does the thing have boobies, or a penis?

Dude! REPTILE. Boobless. I am at a complete loss. I know from health class that it has to have some sort of fertilizing implement if it's male, but I shudder to think of what a giant reptile might use for that purpose.

But it does have a smell now. A wierd reptilian twist on semi-digested stale doughnut hole.

[yardhippie 0]

maybe is has soiled its self... and you have yet to see it! or maybe is just has gas... who know what food will give a lizard gas...

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

[jfields 0]

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Dude! REPTILE. Boobless.

Dude! At least I was never desperate enough to learn that!

[Deuce 1]

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I was never desperate enough to learn that!

Argh. Not desperate, it was that Alligator Hunter guy. "CRICKEY! Luuk aht thaht!" And he went on to describe how there's no need for Valentine's Day undergarments for reptiles cause they don't have anything to hide in them.

Do lizards sleep? Are they nocturnal?

[jfields 0]

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I was never desperate enough to learn that!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Argh. Not desperate, it was that Alligator Hunter guy.

So you liked him because HE had boobs?

[yardhippie 0]

Do lizards sleep? Are they nocturnal?

[happythoughts 0]

Maybe that's why all those reptiles are pissed at that guy. He's always checking out their naughty bits. That sort of thing always gets me into trouble and I swear I've never even been to that bar that I recall.

[AggieDave 6]

Maybe that lizard is like the Bud Ice penguen...always there, you can't get away.

doobee dobe doooo

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[yardhippie 0]

Beer... huh... what did someone mention... Bud?

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

[slim 0]

Tandoori tan?

right thee next to post menstrual red?

<<<>>>
A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!'

[happythoughts 0]

Man... I'm going to go home today and my roommate is going to ask what I did today. My answer "... discussed lizard penises and how to make their poop orange...". Oh well, at least it's billable under the contract.

[jfields 0]

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Tandoori tan?

Not even close. More like a deep orange-red. Probably pretty close to the "burnt orange" Deuce was talking about, which is why it came to mind. Grossed out yet?