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I could watch it yesterday - when someone posted a link that had not (yet) got blocked by Germany's GEMA - They search the net for "copyright infringement" and then have videos blocked that "violate copyrights." Strangely enough, this video was blocked so quickly whilst others can be watched for months or even years... but that's surely, surely just a coincidence. The video was so moving. And I wished my parents had only once listened to me instead of telling "Don't be a girl" time and again and backing up the msg with a rod. I really think the 'small t' is knocking on the doors of our kindergartens, schools and colleges with kindergarten and primary school teachers being so badly prepared so that they simply deny these children any rights just to have everything "right" and "how it is supposed to be." Still so much work ahead of us. Hugs, Hannah The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

Thanks so much for this very detailed "How-to", will most certainly help me The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

My dear fellow TIs, thank you so much for your wealth of information. I now have a pretty good idea how I can exit and what to be aware of (especially my drogue) and will keep you informed about how things will progress. Hugs, Hannah The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

Thanks so much to all of you. I now have an idea how to do it and will first of all practise it solo pretending to have a student in front of me. The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

Hi folks, I had to tell you in another forum that I am forbidden to do tandems for "being mentally unstable" now that I came out as being trans. Not all DZOs are so unwilling to listen to me, to consider my skills and so I may jump at one DZ but out of a C 182. Spoiled Caravan girl, that I am! I tried a floating exit last year and... well, being 6'1" didn't make things easier and add the prop blast... we (me and DZO, 10 years of tandems...) sort of just dropped off the strut. Someone told me a diving exit was easier to perform and I am not afraid of diving, have done so from several planes. Anyone can explain HOW EXACTLY to do it? A video would be very helpful. Thanks so much in advance

Thanks for your nice reply. Well, being trans is - though something totally different - just like being lesbian: You can't be "made" lesbian, can be persuaded nor can it be beaten out of you. You are born that way and most psychologists and physicians see it this way and there is more and more evidence that you are born trans. I at least must admit that I stole a good deal of happiness from my wife and my kids. Her hubbie and their dad will go, fade away and finally make the ultimate sacrifice and die so that the girl can live. Do I feel guilty about it? Hell yes. But the alternative would be rest eternal, to put it politely. So I now try everything to make up for their loss. Hugs, Hannah The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

Thanks so much, Nataly

You are welcome. And thanks for your touching story. Heh heh, a lesbian married to a transman and they are seen as a boringly normal couple...

Done, friend request sent :-) As for the long weekend... you mean Friday to Sunday? Any special day tomorrow in the States? Anyway, I am going to Nuremberg (2,5 hour-drive) for a four-hour session of electrolysis which will add up to 56 hours total. Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And anyone who thinks being (or becoming) a girl is easy just only have 5 mins a needle stuck into you skin (along the hair canal) then being heated up to 75 °C (167 °F) for about 1,x secs, hair by hair by hair by hair... Attached photo: Me after my last electrolysis session - my wife took the photo (and stood on a chair for it In case you don't see much: That's just right. I'd rather travel that long distance and have it done by a true artist who treat me with the utmost respect than by anyone else. Second one is me at my LGBT support group on Tuesday, having fun. The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

Dear VanillaSkyGirl, thank you so much for your touching, warm reply. I hope I can come over to the States one day and then, certainly, will go skydiving. FS and FF will be possible for a good more number of years, I am sure. Hugs, Hannah

Jennifer Finney Boylan - one of the transwomen role models of mine - doesn't get tired to tell folks that transgender people are boringly normal people, neighbours next door living ordinary lives. So being a college teacher, I may already have educated more that 1,000 people about what it means to be trans and that we are ...well, normal and much more happy once we came out. Nobody deserves to live in a closet. Hugs, Hannah The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

ummmmm -- few ever comment positively on my choice of clothing -- if you ever come over to Texas, ya wanna go shopping? Wendy P. I think we have a deal I do like shopping. (But my purse always tells me 'Shopping? I am empty!') The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

Update to anyone: I just talked with the president of our parachustists' association. He first of all inquired how I was, asked questions about transition and being transgender and then concluded that safety issues were important, not the fact of being trans per se. When he learned that my shrink was satisfied with me and so were my GP and my HRT specialists and that I now lived full-time and thus had made a good number of steps in my transition (and that transition doesn't necessarily meant to aim for 'the operation') and that I had done 100+ tandems last year he couldn't really understand why I am forbidden to do tandems. I won't hold this up against the club heads (hehe, not intended as a pun!) as - based on how they decided behind my back and without asking me any questions before deciding - I am convinced the tablecloth is cut between us as we call it in Germany. My happiness does not depend upon being allowed to do tandems at these DZs. I now was told I could do tandems - being trans or not - as long as my health allows so and as long as I am fit in regards to EPs etc. The president suggested they could have 'checked' me (EPs on ground, test / check jumps with two other TIs) to look if I am fit. Well, that's what I also think and was willing to do. But again, I am too busy living my now finally achieved happy life. Just 5 mins ago a very nice (female, rather conservative) colleague of mine commended me on my excellent passing and my choice of clothing. Made my day. The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

As it appears, it seems to be a decision entirely made by the DZO. The ones at my club's DZ all have a military or paramilitary background and ooze testo, so I am not really surprised. Also not surprised they didn't even ask "How do you feel?" or at least "We have an issue with your being trans and would like to discuss it with you" but simply sitting together and making that decision. I wrote a letter to our federal parachutists' association and will soon learn what they think. Not that this will change anything at the two DZs where I am grounded for tandems, I just want to know... Hugs, Hannah The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

That's bullshit. Good luck; I know of a trans woman competing at an international level in skydiving. Oh, and buy your beer . Heh heh. As for the BS: Yes, it is BS. I know transwomen who worked before, during and after their transition as firefighters, soldiers (OK, closeted in the US), even as military pilots (e.g. the UK), as steel workers etc. I think the DZ operators still cling to "transgender is a mental disorder" Anyway, if I won't be allowed to resume tandems, so be it and I will tell them "FY" and continue living happily. I wrote a letter to our parachutists' association and the president gave me a ring (but I was at the gym) and offered we may have a talk. I'll keep everyone posted... Hugs, Hannah The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

I wouldn't think that M2F transgender people have more problems to blend in general. of course, the older you are, the more harm the T has done, but OTOH, I learned that self-awareness and charisma work wonders. If you are not convinced you are a woman even FFS and GCS won't help much. The negative image that some people have about M2F T folks may also stem from bad media images. To all others: Thanks for your warm replies!

Thanks for the many warm replies at you all. Too bad there isn't a 'like' button available. I'll keep you posted on the TI issue. BTW: I've made 10 jumps this year so far (solo belly, 2- and 4-way FS and some freeflying) and ...OMG, I still can do it and none of my skydiving partners felt unsafe or scared due to my being 'mentally and physically unstable' The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

Sure, we are all human beings. As long as it's not on purpose, I either let it pass or correct them in a very friendly, smiling way. It sometimes gets hilarious, though. We recently visited old friends of ours. The are 60+ and rather conservative. Though I showed up 100% Hannah, they kept calling me with my old name. It was so absurd. But I didn't say anything as I didn't want to upset my wife - would have added to the burden I have already put on her. Most people who know me adjust quickly though, some within the blink of an eye and never misgender me. Hugs, Hannah The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

Hi Wendy, too bad for your niece. I suspect I am faaaar to old for her at 53 years of age The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

Thanks for your warm reply. Getting fired has never been an issue as I have received permanency (sort of tenure) as a college teacher. Same with paychecks, as both genders are paid equally. My career options had been exhausted long before I started transitioning (due to several other reasons non of which is related to my being trans) so I won't suffer in respect to this as well. I am constantly amazed how smooth almost everything has developed so far. No pickets before my school, no religious zealots sending death threats, my beloved wife staying with me... Maybe the old Man up there thought he might get even with me for my childhood at least... Hugs, Hannah The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

It was meant literally as a pic to be given to folks who object to my being trans. (Not that I have come across a bigger number of those so far.) I 'stole' the idea from my friend Kristin Beck, the Lady Valor, see attached. And yes, being 6'1" tall, I can look down on most folks. Especially when wearing heeled shoes. I usually wear flats, but even 2" heels usually make me the tallest person in almost any room I don't really care when someone I don't know at all stares at me or makes remarks, I am too busy being happy

Thanks

Thanks

Hi Twardo, I thought you'd be one of the folks to reply nicely, thanks so much! (And nah, you're not one of the old furts!) The case of beer, bummer... I completely forgot... ;-) The sky is not the limit. The ground is. The Society of Skydiving Ducks

Hi everybody, I admit I was a little hesitant about coming out to DZ.com but now that I have done so on other platforms, I think I also should come out here as it may help gain better understanding about transgender persons. Being transgender (which is an adjective, not a noun nor a verb) means that your gender identity - with which you are born and which is hard-wired in your brain - and physical attributes of your body (aka 'sex') do not match, causing a dissonance that results in 'gender dysphoria.' It is nothing you choose, it is nothing you can be persuaded to and it's nothing that can be 'driven' out of you. Believe me, being born in 1961, my parents did their best to 'get' the girl out of me. 'Doncha be such a sissy, doncha be a girl, a weakling, be a boy...' and - of course - the rod, the belt, the hand. Add 12 years of school that more or less could be described as learning how - usually to no success - to avoid the bullies. First they just hit and shoved me, later my bullies became more sophisticated with fine words such as 'f*g', 'Jewish pig', 'sissy' etc or 'forgetting' me at meeting points, silence when I entered a room, flat tires etc pp. Being declared unfit for army services added to the picture but I think if I had had to serve I would have committed suicide. And I never really knew what was wrong with me, just that I didn't fit in, that I never ever was good enough (especially my parents) and that I so often dreamed of girl clothes, liked my long hair and liked my early 1970s colourful clothes. Nothing sexually arousing, I just wished to be a girl but didn't know why. I hadn't had the chance to develop my gender identity by then, I was just busy being me and surviving. And everybody told me that I am a boy, that I should behave like a boy, that I should finally grow some. Well, if everybody tells you, you finally believe even if your brain tells you 'WTF?' Later at university I searched the library to find out what was wrong with me. And - 1980 - I found one psychology book that - under the chapter headline 'perversions' - seemed to explain my wishes: A transvestite I was! A disgusting pervert, only topped by kiddie fiddlers and mass murderers. My mates in my seminar group were nice, but I didn't find a girl friend to prove I am a man. I was declared a hopeless case in what today would be called 'flirt training.' I didn't have any real friends, was ashamed of myself, felt disgusted about my body that so late had gone through puberty and was a pervert as it was written in a scientific book. Time to put an end to it. I don't want to go into details, it just included a balcony at the 8th storey, two bottles of beer before and two guys who were observant of that strange guy who was always so sad. Being saved, I prayed to God to help me. He obviously did so, as my wife picked me as her boyfriend just a few weeks later. She chose me. She was my first and my only one. I was so happy. A girlfriend! Never ever those filthy thoughts again, love will heal me! Soon we had two kids and dearly cared for them - 6 years that we almost never went out at night. If a marriage survives such a test, it's gonna last forever. (We have been together for 33 years now, married for almost 31.) Kids grew up, filthy thoughts surfaced again. The Change helped: Coping by immersing me into work and being a free-time political activist, then city councilor, even chair of committee for education. I silly idiot neglected my children and my wife and there is nothing I can ever to to make up for this. Filthy thoughts got stronger, as well as my self-hate and self-disgust. Nevertheless, the new freedom also meant easier access to women's clothes, especially pullovers. (I was never into undies or skirts - no sexual arousal, as I said before.) My hair had been gone by my late 20s, and so my despair grew and grew. Vicious circles of buying girl stuff, wearing it, hiding it, self-loathing and self-ashamed finally disposing of it (always into charity container!) and shortly after starting the next one. I so desperately longed to prove I am a real, real, real man. I so wished these filthy pervert thoughts would go away. Skydiving was the solution. I took the course and... passed. I strutted though the world and told everyone what a man I was. And secretly, I wore soft, colourful, frilly girl stuff... So no wonder I needed even more to prove I am a man. I was in constant fear I would be 'read.' In 2005 or 2006 I happened to watch a documentary about transgender people and then at least knew I wasn't such a pervert, filthy 'transvestite.' (Today, I know they like to be called crossdressers and aren't perverts at all. Just men who like to wear women's clothes.) But I was so conditioned in my self-loathing, so fixated on my balding head, add the negative image of transwomen even in the first decade of the new century, I was still so disgusted about myself. I needed to prove I am übermale. Fitness obsession - all of a sudden I built up muscles and sported them by means of very tight shirts. Finally, I became a TI, the hero of the heroes! ...and secretly I still wore colourful, soft girl clothes with wide necklines. This dissonance was no longer to bear so my 'logical' solution was to put a clean end to it. To not do it at the DZ - never do this to your buddies. Not at home. I was so sad and felt so for my beloved wife. I didn't want to leave her, didn't want to make her a widow, but couldn't live with 'this' any longer. It was a link Ryoder posted here that saved me. I searched the net for a small bottle of helium with all the necessary stuff to put myself to rest eternal, when I grew tired (it's hard to find a portable small bottle of helium) and logged into DZ.com. The link was about FFS, facial feminization surgery. It drew my down even more, but a link right... huh? It was about a transwoman from Israel whose timeline reminded me so much about my own one! Could it be possible? Sporting new hair as a baldie? (Today I am still befuddled how hair-obsessed I was. I now express femininity either with a human-hair wig or simply with a bandana, e.g. in the gym or at a dropzone.) I started searching the net and found so many links... most of which were crap. But sooner or later you find the right one, the helpful ones. Friends who share your being trans. Real friends in my support group, and friends via Internet and phone. I came out to my GP and she... didn't laugh at me but told me 'Doncha be ashamed of yourself. You're a normal human being, just a little different and this you can work on!' I came out to my wife. I don't want to go into detail, but I can only try to imagine how hard it was and still is for her. But I can say how blessed I am. Not only she didn't expel me, she stayed with me and by setting one step in front of the other, we'll see where this transition will take us. I have been transitioning for more that 15 months now. Continuous counseling by a really good therapist, HRT for 9 months now. Hormone replacement therapy: Soft skin, and yes, sprouting boobies. (Again, no sexual arousal, they're there and that was that.) But the most important change happened after about 3 weeks or so. The grey leaden clouds parted, the sky was blue, the sun was shining, the birds were singing. Life all of a sudden felt right and real! I was - and still am - so happy, so endlessly happy. No more roles to play, just being me. 8 days just being Hannah on a trip to England... and so right, so satisfying, so great it was! I knew I was on the right path. Finally. Not that I regret having been married - it was the best that has ever happened to me, my beloved wife, my great children of whom I am so proud. (They also know and though it's hard to see their dad fade away, they didn't cut off relations. We spend time together whenever possible. My son and his wife are having a baby in November. Who can say they became a father at 21 and a granny at 53? ;-) ) I had planned to transition completely in boy mode, though it already happened in December 2013 that shop assistants referred to me as "Ma'am" if only I wore a woolly hat to cover my head completely. Rumours spread, folks mainly thought I was super-gay. To make it short, I was outed by a colleague, only based on rumours. Students asked me to confirm and as I had sworn to never lie, I told them about myself, about being trans... and when 60 mins were over, they applauded me, thanked me for being so honest and expressed their respect. 15 classes I came out to, not one single negative reaction. Did I mention I live in Germany? My superiors support me, and most teachers get along with 'it' fairly well so far. Within two weeks I 'slid' into living full-time. OK, I would have wanted 4 more months for: electrolysis, voice training ('mones don't change your voice), stocking up my wardrobe etc pp. But heck, that is life and I ahppily deal with it as it's finally MY life, a real and good life. I tested myself: Pedestrian precinct, 4 hours handing out brochures for the Greens to hundreds of folks. Nobody stared at me. People I had been with in city council for 10 years passed me by and didn't recognize me. And many other occasions. It's just right, real, good and I am so happy. The only drawback so far: I am refused to do tandem jumps. Because I am 'mentally unstable' and 'consuming that stuff' and all my arguments went unheard. That I had done almost 100 tandems while in transition last year. That transwomen worked as police officers, firefighters, steel workers, even military pilots (in the UK, for example). That I had asked my specialists and could bring assessments proving I am mentally stable (more than ever before now being my true self) and that my blood work results just scream 'Excellent' and that I had been allowed to donate blood three times in my transition so far. No, no, no. Well, I won't let this draw me down. I have a DZ where I can do tandems, I only will have to learn how to exit from a C128, which - spoilt Caravan girl that I am - shall be interesting, especially as I am 6'1". Wow, this was rather lengthy a coming-out 'letter', huh? But it does me good and I hope I might have provided some insight to some of you. I won't be able to log in on a daily base but hope I will be able to do so at least once a week to catch up with questions. I know most folks come from the US and experiences and good number of transwomen friends I have made tell me, this thread will also have its flames and other dismissing replies, but so be it... though I hope it won't be so as I think I did my best to explain what it means to be trans and that I just chose between 'end it' and 'just be yourself.' I add just a few pics. These are ONLY for dropzone.com and MUST NOT be used in any other forums and especially not be used by any media. (The last picture is me giving a lecture on skydiving at my LGBT support group. I still hope I will be allowed to do tandem jumps soon.) Hugs, Hannah