Douva

On the time pool, I'll take 1:15, 1:30, 1:45, 2:00, and 2:15. On the totals pool, I'll take 1, 2, and 3. On the "belligerent phrases he's most likely to utter while severely intoxicated" pool, I'll take "Fuck you, bitch." I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Ummmm....any advice provided by me, regarding methods for getting onto a TV/movie set, is provided for educational purposes only. I do not advocate stalking. Should you choose to ignore the above warning and try it anyway and somehow end up getting yourself caught, don't admit that the reason you snuck onto the set was to see your favorite actor. Instead, tell them you were looking for the "second assistant director" because you wanted to see if he might be willing to hire you as a "set P.A." on a "day player" basis. A set production assistant (aka set PA) is a gopher, and a day player is somebody who's not on the crew full-time but instead only works when needed. The crew members remember what it was like trying to get work early in their careers, so assuming you haven't caused any trouble, they'll probably let you go if they think you're there looking for work. They'll probably be a lot less understanding if they think you snuck onto the set to see your favorite actor. And if you have to use that "looking for work" excuse, don't be surprised if they agree to let you talk to the 2nd AD or someone else on the crew about a job--Weirder stuff has happened. Be honest that you don't have any experience. If they offer you a job, you can always turn it down later. PS. Wear casual, seasonal clothing and comfortable shoes, similar to what you'd wear to the drop zone. Nobody will believe you're a P.A. if you're all tarted up. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Yeah, that's how it works. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Oh yeah, skysprite, when you crash the set, you should also carry a clipboard. Between the clipboard and the walkie-talkie, you'll be golden. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

There's nothing inherently wrong with the decision you're making, assuming you understand that you're basing a major life decision, or possibly several major life decisions, on a hobby you've had for less than a year, choosing to compete for women exclusively within a sport that has more than five men to every woman, and allowing your identity to get wrapped up in jumping out of airplanes, even though you've actually made less total jumps than most serious skydivers (instructors and competitors) do in a month. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Like a croissant or just some hot buns? I have a cinnamon roll I've been trying to get into movies for years, without any luck. According to the pastry casting agents I've talked to, the low carb craze is making it really hard to find good parts for baked goods. It was late when I typed my original post. I'll edit it. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Ways to get on a movie set: 1. Get a role in the movie (very difficult) 2. Get a position on the crew (slightly less difficult but still next to impossible, unless you're experienced and/or have good connections) 3. Get a job as an extra (relatively easy, compared to the previous two options, assuming the film needs extras, you meet the description they're looking for, and you know which agency is handling "background casting") 4. Make friends with someone in the cast or crew and get invited to the set as a guest (not impossible) 5. Track down the phone number of the local production office, call them, ask to speak to the "unit publicist," and give him/her some bullshit story about writing an article for a local paper, college paper, whatever (might work but publicists are paid to be skeptical) 6. Sneak onto the set (Carry a big, black walkie-talkie, and pretend like you're supposed to be there. Do not carry a camera, take any pictures with your cell phone, make any noise--turn off your cell phone--walk anywhere near the cameras, touch anything, bother people, or do anything that will attract attention to yourself or indicate you're not supposed to be there; just act like you have a purpose and like you know where you're going. If anyone asks who you are, tell them you're an "office P.A." on set waiting to pick up a package from the production trailer to take back to the production office. Say it with confidence; they'll probably be too busy to dig any deeper than that. Hardly anyone on set knows what the office P.A.s look like.) Edited because I don't know the difference between a position acting in a movie and a baked good. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Is it permanent marker ink? If so, try writing over the ink with a dry erase marker; then use a soft, dry, non-abrasive cloth to wipe off all of the ink at once. It may not work on a CD, but it works on dry erase boards. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I'm not concerned with the invasion of privacy issue (look at the sample scans shown in the article--they're not exactly nude photographs), but I am concerned with the fact that the TSA keeps adding layer upon layer to airport security, when most experts agree that a determined, well-trained terrorist can find a way to circumvent virtually any reasonable security measure. To me, that means we're not only on our way to longer lines, longer waits, and more travel hassles; we're also on our way to much less reasonable security measures. At some point we're all going to have to wake up to the fact that there is risk in life, or we're going to give up air travel as we know it. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

That's based on an old Dave Chappelle joke about Krispy Kreme being like crack. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Google "shared dreams." I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve twenty-four. Jesus, does anyone? I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Has Jason finished putting together your quarantine tent, yet? I'm supposed to bring something over to him, but I don't want to do it until he's had a chance to decontaminate the rest of your house. I really don't have the energy to put on a biohazard suit. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

You've come a long way from your days of falling like an uncatchable anvil and tracking under 8-ways that exited six seconds before you. The circle is now complete. When I left you, you were but a learner. Now you are the master. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

There is a big difference between outlawing something that might have a negative health impact on an individual and requiring something that will almost certainly have a positive health impact on society. If scientists come up with an AIDS vaccine, you will certainly see schools requiring it for enrolment, no matter how unlikely your child or children may be to contract aids through recreation drug use or unprotected sex. It's not about protecting your kids or legislating morality; it's about protecting society from infectious diseases. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Josh never uses closing punctuation when he types. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

All I read was, "BLINK BLINK BLIIIIIINK BLIIIIIINK BLINK BLINK." I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Man, we're going to have to get you one of those computers that interprets your blinks and translates them into text. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Josh, these are for you: ........................................................................... ........................................................................... ........................................................................... ........................................................................... ........................................................................... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? After reading your last few posts, I thought you might be running low. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I understand that there are situations where a non-skydiver takes a completely unreasonable stand against his or her significant other having any involvement in skydiving, but those situations are less common than many of us would like to believe. More often than not, these types of problems are the fault of skydivers who have completely lost perspective. If skydiving is threatening to destroy your relationship with your significant other, particularly if it's a long-term relationship or marriage, you need to step back and ask yourself, "What is skydiving to me?" If your answer is along the lines of "a hobby," "a sport," or "my favorite pastime," you probably have a fairly healthy perspective on jumping out of airplanes and a good chance of working through your relationship problems. If, on the other hand, your answer is more along the lines of "the only thing I enjoy," "the thing that keeps me going," or "my life," you need some sort of help. Skydiving is nothing more than an exciting recreational activity. If, in your mind, skydiving has been elevated to the level of a religious experience, or if you believe skydiving equates to some sort of "better way of life," what you really have is an addiction. And if that addiction is threatening to destroy a relationship, your mental state is no healthier than that of someone who throws away a relationship for an addiction to drugs or sex. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Relatively Safe For Work I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

I actually considered the idea that somebody might have broken into my car to have sex in it, but that doesn't explain the empty purse or the cell phone, and it doesn't explain why they rifled through my stuff. Also, it would take a pretty sophisticated crook to break into a modern vehicle without damaging the vehicle or setting off the alarm, and it seems unlikely that somebody with that kind of technical knowledge wouldn't have someplace better to get laid. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Last night I went to a pool hall in San Antonio, where a friend of mine recently started waitressing. I hung out for a few hours, alone, just shooting pool and playing darts and visiting with my friend when she wasn’t too busy. The evening was relatively uneventful, unless you count the middle-aged woman who bought me a beer for having the “the nicest ass there”--It's no revelation that middle-aged women dig me; but it’s something of a surprise to learn that I’ve grown an ass--But lonely older women aside, it looked like it was going to be a pretty tame evening, until I left the pool hall and walked to my car. My car had been broken into. That, in itself, is not terribly surprising, considering it’s the sixth time in the six and a half years that I’ve lived in Central Texas that I’ve had a vehicle broken into, but what was surprising was what I found. Though I specifically remember locking the doors when I got out of my vehicle (a 2003 Chevy Tahoe), it was without any signs of forced entry. That is unusual, but even stranger is that, despite rooting through most of my stuff, spilling my change cup on the front seat, and pulling everything out of the side pockets, whoever broke into my car took nothing. They left behind an MP3 player and a radar detector that were located in the center console, a digital camera that was under the front seat, and two tool kits that were in the back. The lack of forced entry or anything missing is pretty strange, but that isn’t the strangest part--While I was looking to see if anything was missing, I found an empty purse lying in the front seat. I asked inside the pool hall to see if anybody had reported a purse missing, but nobody had. I debated calling the police, but there was no damage to my car, nothing of mine was missing, and the cheap cloth purse seemed untraceable, so I decided not to worry about it. I left the purse with the bartender, in case somebody came looking for it later. At that point I simply counted myself lucky that nothing was damaged or missing, wrote the incident off as "one of those things," and started the hour-long drive home. Then, at a little after two in the morning, as I was driving down the interstate toward San Marcos, I heard a cell phone ringing. It wasn’t my cell phone--I could see my cell phone sitting beside me. I couldn’t tell where this ringing was coming from, so I pulled over and started looking for it. Between the driver's seat and the center console, I found it--a blue Sanyo cell phone. I didn’t answer it because I didn’t have what I would consider a believable explanation for where I found it, but at that point I did use my cell phone to call the police and ask the location of the nearest station, so that I could drop off the phone and make a report. After driving for a while and still not seeing the exit that the officer I spoke to told me to take, I called the police again and spoke to a second officer who informed me that there are no stations anywhere near where I was. He suggested I just mail the phone to the police station, but it occurred to me that there was a very slim chance the owner of the phone might actually be in trouble, so I decided I wanted to get it to the police right away. The officer to whom I spoke agreed to have an officer meet me where I was, so I parked in a hotel parking lot and waited for forty-five minutes, until an officer showed up to take the phone and my report. I ended up getting home about five o'clock in the morning. My best guess is that somebody broke into my car (possibly by replicating the signal for my remote door locks) and then used the cover of my car to root through a stolen purse. I don’t understand; however, why the person or persons who broke into my car rooted through my stuff but didn’t take anything. My only guess is that they were looking for cash or drugs. If that’s the case, they were definitely in the wrong car. Anyway, it worked out okay for me, except for throwing off my sleep schedule, so I’m not sweating it too much. But it was definitely a weird night. I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

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Dammit, am I going to have to post a link to my blog post about the shortcomings of MySpace AGAIN? HERE I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.