Girlfalldown

EWWWW! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

I like that response! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

I heard some girls on the radio talking about fisting each other. Yeah it was Howard Stern. One girl was fisting the other girls cooch while the other girl was fisting her ass. They said it's easier because girls hands are smaller but one of them could take two in the butt and was known for liking very large men. They were porn stars. Some people can take it, some can't. We're just all built differently. I couldn't take it myself. Hell, sometimes two fingers is too much for me! I like a nice penis much better. It's smoother and it "gives". I saw a video once called "two hands". It was one of those things running around the internet around 1998. A guy hung like a horse was doing a girl in the rear with both his hands at the same time. Sort of rubbing his palms back and forth for friction. It looked painful but you can hear the girl say "oh I'm going to cum again!" so I'm betting it wasn't. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

Nope. It's earplugs. When I was a kid we had a female Golden Retriever. Our neighbors had a male Dalmation that barked all the time! I now realize it was because we were always playing with our dog but no one ever really played with the poor Dalmation. We had an 8 foot fence. A few years later we had black, white and gold puppies. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

Where's the puking icon? -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

I don't get it. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

Chiggers are those little bugs that bite the shit out of you. Remind me to bring LOTS of bugspray. I'll hide your weed in my coochie honey. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

I was actually told by my gynecologist of many years that if you're sensitive to lube you can use a bit of vegetable oil and it will work just fine. You can't use it with condoms though. I was never really comfortable with a huge bottle of Wesson on the nightstand. Plus it tastes kinda funny when you cook with it later. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

PRUDE! Edited to add smileys. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

Which Wet? They have: Wet Original Wet Light Wet Warming Wet Flavored Body Glide Wet Platinum Wet Fun Flavors Wet JO It makes a difference. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

Duuuude! Was this on the way in? Or was this later? We have VIP camping status at Bonnaroo. The trick is to dig a hole and hide your stuff. DUH! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

Very close to a nipple slip..! Not close at all actually. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

1st small dick joke - giggle 2nd small dick joke- nigga plz The second one was a small DIRTY penis joke. Jeeze! and it's crackah. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

I don't like people that bend over backwards to help me get my rig fixed...wait...yeah I do! I LOVE YOU CHRIS! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

Sweetie, nasty cunnilingus doesn't mean you talking to your dirty little penis. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

I know! How sad is that? No one will let him stay at their airport for more than a week! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

STOP IGNORING ME! I've been trying to include you in conversation since we met twelve years ago at the monastery! You really take that vow of silence seriously! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

When you meet her you'll love her! Trust me! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

Just me. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

Who are you guys? Are you new here? Welcome to the forums! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

Oh that was just one small thing. If you only knew! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

You all might wonder why you don't receive your secret little Easter baskets anymore. I bet you think it's because you've grown up. Well, I know the truth. The year was around 1976. I was just a little kid. We were driving home from a trip to the Colorado River where we went once or twice a year on holiday. My mother was driving. She liked to drive very fast and usually pushed 100 most the way. It was probably around midnight the night before Easter. You know, the night when the Easter Bunny is running from house to house hiding those Easter baskets? Anyway, my older brother and I were asleep in the back seats. Suddenly we were awaken by a terrible thump and my mom's little Honda Civic bounced over something. It was loud. It was big. That was when my mom yells out to us in the back seat: " OH MY GOD KIDS! I JUST RAN OVER THE EASTER BUNNY!" I killed the Easter Bunny!". We had run over a big jackrabbit. I can't even begin to explain the guilt I felt for all of the undelivered baskets and the other little children going without their chocolatey treats. We got home very late that night and went right to bed. The next morning my mom had my brother and I wash the car. This included hosing off underneath where we found bits of Easter Bunny hair, blood, skin and some other unidentifiable things. I never got another Easter Basket. So I'm sorry to say, it was my mother's fault that there is no Easter Bunny anymore. She killed him and she didn't even stop. I guess that's a hit and run too! I'm so ashamed of this. I don't think I will ever forgive her. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

I can only think of 2 people that I'm sure dislike me. It's ok though because I don't like them either! I'm sure there's more but ya'll are too wussy to admit it. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

You're so wrong! I always hated you! Goddamn dirty hippies! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

there's really only one way to find out, little one..... Stop talking to your penis! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)