Science Discovers a New Element: Governmentium!

[Hipwrddude 0]

Got an interesting email today I'd thought I'd share.
I can't wait for this to appear in the Periodic Table of Elements:

Scientists have recently discovered the heaviest element known in the universe. It was discovered in the grime and gunk left over in New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina. The new element has been named "Governmentium".

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of inconsequential particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leaves some scientists to believe that Governmentium forms whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes "Administratium"-and element which radiates just as much energy as the Governmentium since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.

Ain't science wonderful

You're always the starter in your own life!

[AggieDave 6]

That's funny, too bad its playing off a common misconception on how municipal, state level and the federal government works together.

FEMA isn't first responders for an incident, the municpal level is. Once the municipal level resources are failing, the state level steps in and lastly the federal. That also represents the amount of time it takes to physically move material from site to site from the city, state and federal level. The biggest problem that happened with Katrina and NOLA is that the city government turned over and cried for federal help before even exhausting their resources, before even trying to fully use their resources. All in all it was a bad situation, but it could have been much better if the city hadn't simply given up. Oh well, live and learn I guess.

Then again, the historical problems that the NOLA's first line has had over the years manifesting themselvs in that situation certainly didn't help.

As with each new disaster, the system gets more refined and better adapted in each state to respond to different situations, so hopefully next time will be less of a problem and result in less life lost.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[GTAVercetti 0]

Holy shit. Were you even reading the same post?

Where did you get ANYTHING about the interaction between the municipal, state, and federal governments? All I see is making fun of general buracracy.

And anyway, this "new" element was not found in Katrina. That has been tacked on:

Governmentium

Some one ate their serious flakes this morning.

Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing.

[AggieDave 6]

Quote

Some one ate their serious flakes this morning

Yeah, sorry.

My days are pretty serious now-a-days, the training is good, the amount of training and information is HUGE, but while at the "office" its hard to wind down sometimes...even if we're given the morning to finish up some work at the computers away from the training and since I'm a very fast typer I get done quicker then most.

Oh well, carry on.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[SpeedRacer 1]

THAT'S f&*kin funny!!

seriously I don't know why people are so quick to say FEMA was OK & only the local govenrment sucked during the Katrina crisis. Why can't we say they both sucked?

And would the Republicans on this forum still be praising FEMA's performance if the Clinton administration had been in power?

Speed Racer
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[shropshire 0]

It's been discovered that this element has some severe limitations...... it's really dull in normal illumination but comes into it's own and can be seen at it's best on photographics plates when exposed to bright flash lights.
It's also difficult and can not be work hardenned.......

.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome