Gawain 0 #1 April 3, 2003 I found this posted on another discussion board. It seemed rather funny.... and if you don't think it's funny...think about something else... Good Morning Baghdad- First the weather and then news and traffic- Its cloudy today with the fog of war enveloping this infernal hellhole located in the cradle of civilization. Temperatures will be 70-80F in most locations with local hotspots hitting 2000F. Winds are out of the north at 10 miles per hour with local gusts up to 400 MPH. Expect these gusts to be accompanied by flying glass, steel, camels, and Saddam's Feyhedeen body parts. Smog, from burning oil wells and oil pits ringing the city, is predicted. Created by Saddam's spineless environmental terrorists, they will blind the arrogant invaders and create an oil shock in the world markets. Already the price of crude has dropped 20% as our Shining Saddam's dazzling strategy unfolds. Rain is also in the forecast and we will have showers of 50 cal and DU Tank rounds penetrating official government facilities and local government officials. Now for the news. The Petite Repugnant Guard continues to defend the nation against the onslaught of infidels from the west, south, east, and north, overhead, underground, and by river. The fearless Guard is retreating on all fronts as we set our sinister trap for the devil soldiers. Our troops are herding our citizens to the front to stand against the white devils. In another brilliant tactical plan developed by our Benevolent Butcher of Baghdad, if they refuse to fight we kill them. Hah take that you brainless Americans, we now have plenty of weapons to go around. Thousands are taking advantage of our Glorious Leader's offering of "Time Shares in Paradise" complete with virgins and young boys, for those of you of that persuasion. The Sultan of Satan Tailors will be fitting all of our heroic volunteers with custom bomb belts with which to exact a terrifying toll upon innocent men women and children. They will be sharing your measurements with Ebrahim's Embalmers, Camel, and Casket Company. In case there is anything left to embalm and casket. A free camel will be provided to the families of our brutal bunglers who kill themselves for the Brilliant Benefactor of Baghdad. Saddam and his sadistic son's will make an appearance this afternoon in Damascus and next week he will have a live interview from the French Riviera. Where he will be vacationing for a short time following the defeat of the infidel pigs. The only traffic is the traffic of our magnificent pilots and taxi drivers who continue to maintain air supremacy and prevent grid lock on our streets. Our new motto for the Iraqi Air Force is "We Fly. We Die. So Why?". From our heroic taxi drivers the thought for the day is, "The Truck Stops Here!" Now for your listening pleasure Ali Saddam and his Forty Thieves singing from their new album "Bye-Bye Baghdad" the hit single "We Gotta Get Outta this Place". Hit it Ali.So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jimbo 0 #2 April 3, 2003 Quote In another brilliant tactical plan developed by our Benevolent Butcher of Baghdad, if they refuse to fight we kill them. Hah take that you brainless Americans, we now have plenty of weapons to go around. Excellent!"Like" - The modern day comma Good bye, my friends. You are missed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbob 0 #3 April 3, 2003 Hilarious, but don't forget, they're winning, according to the daily babble from the appointed Sadaam stand-in.Who Dares Wins Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
