BigWaveDave 0 #1 January 8, 2004 I sit 5 feet to the right of my coworker who is a f*cking lunatic. She's about 65, easily 200 pounds overweight, is the most overbearing person I've ever met. You can't even talk to her without getting into some kind of argument. We work in a commission environment (we're recruiters), and has thrown many of us under the bus over the last couple of years (she cost me about $9,000 in commissions last year alone by snaking a couple of deals). On top of that, she sits at her desk clipping her toenails, picking her nose, and noisely chomping down on food. Filthy... Here's the best part though. She lists herself on these adult personnals sites. Not the normal ones, but the ones that cater to swingers. So she'll be talking to people she meets online, trying to talk sexy on the phone while she's setting up liasons. And she does this at work. Its absolutely disgusting. The thing is, she'll never get fired, as she produces good numbers, and she's been here for some 15 years. So here's the question I pose to all of you in DZ,com land..... What things do your co-workers do that irritate to the point of wanting to stab them with a letter opener?“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #2 January 8, 2004 Ummmm...copy her had from the swingers site and put it on some sort of seriously deviant sex site. Something bad. Maybe something like Bukkaki (google it)... She'd probably get some funny/embarressing e-mails, etc--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #3 January 8, 2004 Yeah....like those german scat sites too. Note: Hey Aggie, the name is BUKKAKE, ok? __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #4 January 8, 2004 There's this 65 year-old woman who sits two cubicles down from me, and she smokes like a chimney, which makes her do these hacking, phlegm-y coughs ALLLLLLLL the TIIIIIME. It's sooooo gross. Kelly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #5 January 8, 2004 Aw, sorry for the spelling snafu. You now me, I kant spel two gud.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigWaveDave 0 #6 January 8, 2004 It scares me that you corrected somebody on the proper spelling of bukkake...“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigWaveDave 0 #7 January 8, 2004 Here's how we found out about the listing. She had it up on her computer, and I guess she forgot to close the window when she went to lunch. She has some disgusting picture posted (which still haunts me to this day), and she put down that she was looking for groups of men. Gross...“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreeZone 15 #8 January 8, 2004 Depending on how nasty you want to get you could claim a hostile work environment through HR. Personally... I'd just start using her email account to reply to potential clients with her personal ad Yesterday is history And tomorrow is a mystery Parachutemanuals.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stacy 0 #9 January 8, 2004 teehee. i work with a lovely woman (sarcasm begins here) who I like to refer to the ass kissing multiple personalitied tree hugger. this girl was an intern with us. a good intern, i'll give her that. we hired her. total drama queen. made a boyfriend move here since she got a job. he showed up and she wouldn't let him stay with her. she makes statements such as "I can't get enough education!" even though she has enrolled in pretty much the easiest masters degree program in our field. then promptly drops out of said masters degree program because all of a sudden she decides to get married to the guy she booted out in the first place. constantly arguing with management in teh excess of making our 1.5 hour meetings into 3 hour meetings. makes meeting agenda items out of her colon cleansing regime and purifying fasts. Refuses to have department lunches at *normal* restaurants and wll complain about anything except thai food, as it upsets her system. (Perhaps she needs to cleanse her colon more frequently...). always has something to whine and complain and make drama about (ie I have sooo many patients!), adn has even stated htat she thinks she may need an assistant now, since she is planning a wedding. please. i used to get irritated. now i am entertained. __ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
my_dog_steve 0 #10 January 8, 2004 Well, it's not so much a co-worker as a neighbor. She lives in the condo next to mine. First, she's just nasty. I mean, absolutely no hygene happening here. I pass her on the way to my mailbox occasionally...she's always wearing the same flowered muumuu, reeking of smoke, garlic, sweat and something like a really nasty litter box. Did I mention she's a large girl? Anyway, she's got this junkie looking boyfriend...pale, skinny...she's like 3 or 4 of him...anyway, they go at it like rabbits...constantly. It's disgusting. I can hear her hacking and coughing between the moans and groans. I can't keep the pictures on my wall straight. Just thinking about the smell... Sure, it could just be jealousy. I mean, at least she's getting laid... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigWaveDave 0 #11 January 8, 2004 Quoteteehee. i work with a lovely woman (sarcasm begins here) who I like to refer to the ass kissing multiple personalitied tree hugger. this girl was an intern with us. a good intern, i'll give her that. we hired her. total drama queen. made a boyfriend move here since she got a job. he showed up and she wouldn't let him stay with her. she makes statements such as "I can't get enough education!" even though she has enrolled in pretty much the easiest masters degree program in our field. then promptly drops out of said masters degree program because all of a sudden she decides to get married to the guy she booted out in the first place. constantly arguing with management in teh excess of making our 1.5 hour meetings into 3 hour meetings. makes meeting agenda items out of her colon cleansing regime and purifying fasts. Refuses to have department lunches at *normal* restaurants and wll complain about anything except thai food, as it upsets her system. (Perhaps she needs to cleanse her colon more frequently...). always has something to whine and complain and make drama about (ie I have sooo many patients!), adn has even stated htat she thinks she may need an assistant now, since she is planning a wedding. please. i used to get irritated. now i am entertained. __ Sounds like she's an attention wh*re.“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #12 January 8, 2004 Put super glue in the wheels of her chair. Make a substantial order in her name for office supplies. put baby oil in her chair(cloth) glue her file drawer shut Order several pizzas in her name and have them delivered. Piss in her chair (cloth) Randomly ask people as they walk by if they smell something funny.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigWaveDave 0 #13 January 8, 2004 Quote Piss in her chair (cloth) Strictly a class move!“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #14 January 8, 2004 QuoteSo here's the question I pose to all of you in DZ,com land..... What things do your co-workers do that irritate to the point of wanting to stab them with a letter opener? Hey! You set the parameters here!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigWaveDave 0 #15 January 8, 2004 QuoteQuoteSo here's the question I pose to all of you in DZ,com land..... What things do your co-workers do that irritate to the point of wanting to stab them with a letter opener? Hey! You set the parameters here! Touche'“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #16 January 8, 2004 Hey, know what stink bait is? Ever go catfish fishing? Get some stink bait (here: http://www.jpiggstinkbait.com/getbait.htm) and all you've got to do is get to work really early or stay nice and late, stick some in the bottom/back of her filing cabinet. Then, stick some in the bottom/back of a draw in her desk. Hell, smear some on her chair. Then leave, go shower and clean up (you'll want to leave to do that) and show up acting unknowingly until you smell it. Oh, wear old clothes and gloves while doing that. 2 reasons, 1, no fingerprints and 2, you don't want that smell in your hands.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZoneRat 0 #17 January 8, 2004 There is no need to piss in her chair, glue her drawers shut or perform any other similar actions. The 9k she snaked will not save her. She is still old, lonely and fat. She will die that way, long before you. So... You can take the high road, doing nothing, and still realize revenge. Revenge delivered by her own fat, toenail clipping, nose picking hand. Don't super glue the wheels of her chair, bring doughnuts to work 3 days a week.“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigWaveDave 0 #18 January 8, 2004 QuoteThere is no need to piss in her chair, glue her drawers shut or perform any other similar actions. The 9k she snaked will not save her. She is still old, lonely and fat. She will die that way, long before you. So... You can take the high road, doing nothing, and still realize revenge. Revenge delivered by her own fat, toenail clipping, nose picking hand. Don't super glue the wheels of her chair, bring doughnuts to work 3 days a week. She's probably on her way out anyway. She's had lung cancer, and only has one lung left. She still smokes at least a pack a day.“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #19 January 8, 2004 QuoteQuoteQuoteSo here's the question I pose to all of you in DZ,com land..... What things do your co-workers do that irritate to the point of wanting to stab them with a letter opener? Hey! You set the parameters here! Touche' HAHAHHAHA I misread the question . . . I thought you were asking what COULD YOU do(as in Retaliation), not what DO they do . .. . LMAOI'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #20 January 8, 2004 I guess i'm lucky to have an awesome office environment. We have no cubes here, all offices with doors and everything. I honestly don't know how i would seek revenge on someone. I guess i've always believed that Karma would take care of it. Take the high road as suggested a few posts earlier. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigWaveDave 0 #21 January 8, 2004 QuoteI guess i'm lucky to have an awesome office environment. We have no cubes here, all offices with doors and everything. I honestly don't know how i would seek revenge on someone. I guess i've always believed that Karma would take care of it. Take the high road as suggested a few posts earlier. Actually, this thread isn't about revenge. Its simply a question posed to the DZ.commers about what their coworkers do that annoys the piss out of them. I should probably start wording my questions better.“If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint… and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent van Gogh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #22 January 8, 2004 QuoteI should probably start wording my questions better. Nah, that won't help...threads always get hijacked/mis-interpreted. Or maybe some blonde that didn't get enough sleep last night just doesnt understand anything today. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #23 January 8, 2004 She has realized that she is overweight, lonely, probably dying and doesn't know what to do about it so she's taking out her frustrations about her own life on everyone else. Everytime she does something that annoys you, remind yourself how happy your own life is compared to hers. Why don't you do something incredibly nice for her and see if her attitude changes? Put a bunch of flowers on her desk smile and wish her a happy New Year, and see what happens.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #24 January 8, 2004 She'd eat 'em. And invite him to one of her "Parties"I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #25 January 8, 2004 I wouldn't do all that in an attempt to be nice, b/c if she's as f***ed up in the head as I am , she'd probably think it was some sort of office joke, start crying, and quit. But you could just smile and say Happy New Year. Nice without seeming fishy. Kelly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
