Maintenance log for aircraft :)))))

[cvfd1399 0]

Got this in an e-mail.
Fly with confidence - Qantas Airlines

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight in need of repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[koz2000 1]

Yeah I've gotten that e-mail before. Except it was for the air force rather than quantas

______________________________________________
- Does this small canopy make my balls look big? - J. Hayes -

[diverdriver 5]

Oh for the love of repost (slaps forehead).


What was it this time? About 2, maybe 3 months? That email is endless. It will be going around when Al Gore's offspring pull the plug on the Internet to install a new Net that they didn't invent but took credit for.

[Peej 0]

Sheesh...bit harsh, funny, but harsh

Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky

[diverdriver 5]

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Sheesh...bit harsh, funny, but harsh

Oh not that harsh. It is a funny email. I get it all the time though by people who don't realize it's been around the net more times than the Perris Hilton video. Trust me. I 'm not going to lose sleep over it being posted again. But it was my chance to be repost police! I'm applying for new jobs around DZ.com didn't you know?

[cvfd1399 0]

Your repost post is a repost sheeeshh

[diverdriver 5]

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Your repost post is a repost sheeeshh

Ok, is this an episode of Star Trek where we end up in an endless loop?

I know! Divert all the power to the deflector dish and create some tachion emissions!

[cvfd1399 0]

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