cruzlite 0 #1 March 24, 2004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites AggieDave 6 #2 March 24, 2004 QuoteSubject: PARABLES . . . Parables to live by... Parable Number 1: A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Parable Number 2: A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull." They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. Parable Number 3: A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped a patty on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him! Management Lesson: 1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. 2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! Parable Number 4: The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, some people remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding". The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed them saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey". The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the donkey and it fell into the river and drowned. Management Lesson: If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass! There, now you don't have to open the attatchment.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites cruzlite 0 #3 March 24, 2004 Thanks David ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites fool 0 #4 March 24, 2004 parable #4 would actually go really well with the chicagoland thread.... S.E.X. party #1 "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "f*#k, what a ride". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 212 #5 March 24, 2004 Subject: Retirement > > > Working people frequently ask retired > people what they do to make their days > interesting. Thought you'd might like > to know what happened to me last week. > > I went to the store the other day. > I was only in there for about 5 minutes. > > When I came out there was a city cop > writing out a parking ticket. I went up > to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how > about giving a senior a break?" > > He ignored me and continued writing the > ticket. I called him a Nazi. He glared > at me and started writing another ticket > for having worn tires. > > So I called him a piece of horse crap. > He finished the second ticket and put > it on the windshield with the first. > Then he started writing a third ticket. > > This went on for about 20 minutes... > the more I abused him, the more > tickets he wrote. > > I didn't give a crap. > > My car was parked around the corner. > > I try to have a little fun each day. > > It's important at my age. >I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. 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AggieDave 6 #2 March 24, 2004 QuoteSubject: PARABLES . . . Parables to live by... Parable Number 1: A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Parable Number 2: A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull." They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. Parable Number 3: A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped a patty on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him! Management Lesson: 1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. 2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! Parable Number 4: The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, some people remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding". The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed them saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey". The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the donkey and it fell into the river and drowned. Management Lesson: If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass! There, now you don't have to open the attatchment.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fool 0 #4 March 24, 2004 parable #4 would actually go really well with the chicagoland thread.... S.E.X. party #1 "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "f*#k, what a ride". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #5 March 24, 2004 Subject: Retirement > > > Working people frequently ask retired > people what they do to make their days > interesting. Thought you'd might like > to know what happened to me last week. > > I went to the store the other day. > I was only in there for about 5 minutes. > > When I came out there was a city cop > writing out a parking ticket. I went up > to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how > about giving a senior a break?" > > He ignored me and continued writing the > ticket. I called him a Nazi. He glared > at me and started writing another ticket > for having worn tires. > > So I called him a piece of horse crap. > He finished the second ticket and put > it on the windshield with the first. > Then he started writing a third ticket. > > This went on for about 20 minutes... > the more I abused him, the more > tickets he wrote. > > I didn't give a crap. > > My car was parked around the corner. > > I try to have a little fun each day. > > It's important at my age. >I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
