FreeflyVan 0 #1 March 22, 2004 Hey everyone, I was posting in another forum (Poll: Have your relatives come to see you skydive?), and in replying to that forum it suddenly it me that I'm going to be a first-time parent of twins in early July. My wife took up skydiving almost 4 years ago, and she says she wants to continue skydiving. I only just took up skydiving 2.5 years ago, and I'd like to continue jumping. The fact is we're quite unprepared for combining skydiving and parenthood. I don't know what family and friends, are going to say when (or if) the wife and I continue to skydive after our twins arrive. Probably something morbid like "Think of the children, what if one or both of you go splat?" I sometimes think about that and how to respond. I'd really like to hear from the good folks on this forum when they first became parents and continued to skydive how they handled those kind of remarks from family and friends. Cheers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boxingrrl 0 #2 March 22, 2004 Congrats to you and your wife! I don't have kids, but I've seen some couples raise kids at the DZ quite successfully. Some choose to be more conservative, with one always staying on the ground, but others just seem to have it worked out so they can jump together. I think that if you and your wife work through the possibilities and address the risks as well as possible through advanced preparation/planning and insurance, that's the best any parent(s) can do. Good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JYorkster 0 #3 March 22, 2004 QuoteI don't know what family and friends, are going to say when (or if) the wife and I continue to skydive after our twins arrive. Your life, your choice! Don't live your life based on what others may think. If you and your wife are OK with it, continue jumping. Rock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baa75 0 #4 March 22, 2004 Hi! Welcome to the wonderful world of skydiving...and TWINS! I'm actually a single Mom of twin boys so I have a little experience here. You may as well prepare yourself for every reaction because you'll likely get them all! I've gotten everything from "Well, I guess that's the end of skydiving for you." and "What kind of parent puts themselves at risk like that on purpose?" to "You must really love jumping to find a way to keep doing it." and "You're kids are definitely going to be skydivers because they see how much you love it and they will too." I actually "quit" jumping the day I found out I was pregnant. I figured that it was way too risky and just wasn't something a Mom should be doing. I still went to the DZ every weekend while pregnant. I pretty much stopped after they were born & really was just plain too busy to think much about it for the first year. (Single Mom, remember?) When they were about 1 yr thoughts of skydiving started eating at me and I wished I could do it again. I had the constant guilt of thinking, what if anything happened to me, my kids have no one. Yet I felt like I was missing a really big part of me. I guess I just didn't realize how much skydiving meant to me until I wasn't anywhere near it. I started jumping again when my kids were about 1.5 yrs. I still don't jump as often as I'd like but it keeps me near enough to the sport and the people that it at least works for me, for now. I still feel the nerves and guilt and I'm fairly conservative about my canopy flying and maybe a bit more paranoid about safety than some others. I do feel bad about leaving my kids on a nice day to go jump but I also bring them to the DZ as much as possible because they just love it there. You give your kids extra kisses and tighter hugs before you walk out the door but its also your time to clear your mind and relax. Even as a parent you still have to have something for YOU. I'll just ramble on forever when it comes to skydiving and my kids so if you want to chat or have any questions, feel free to PM me. Oh, CONGRATULATIONS x2!! BettyAnn Getting married? Check out my website! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pccoder 0 #5 March 22, 2004 I agree. I have two girls which I had prior to getting into this sport. You can't just go through life like those parents who would have you believe they make every decision based on how it will affect their child. If that was true, our divorce rate wouldn't be what it is in this country. Let's get real! Anyway, don't quit because you become a parent; instead be a parent who can better educate their child about the dangers and enjoyment of this sport so we can start raising a more educated generation without so many biases towards what we do. Enjoy. PcCoder.net Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BETO74 0 #6 March 22, 2004 Congrats!!!! That is a tough one and to be real honest I don't know what I would do either, but one way or the other you will be doing the right thing I have a friend who gave up skydive with thousands of jumps after she got a baby, she said it was not for her it was for her kids as well I know a ton of people who still skydives with kids and bring then to the DZ for a happy time, just remember to share with us I keep close attention, and congrats again. http://web.mac.com/ac057a/iWeb/AC057A/H0M3.html Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luv2Fall 0 #7 March 22, 2004 Congrats!!! That's a decision you'll have to make for yourself. Others may render good advice but remember it's your life. Parents have a tendency to entirely "put their lives on hold" after the arrival of children........very easily done. In retrospect as mine are almost grown, finding a balance is a healthy way to go...........set some time aside just for you whether it be skydiving or something else. My "feelings" on the rest........be as conservative as you possibly can while skydiving............................ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #8 March 22, 2004 My wife didn't jump until our daughter got older, and might have to quit while our daughter is in high school also - but this is because of our need to make sure she gets attention and parenting during those times when bringing her to the airport every weekend isn't the best for her.... Nothing to do with outside people's opinions. Look at your family and friends (who also have kids)that say this - now which ones drive, ski, ride motorcycles, SMOKE, climb, etc? and point out the hypocrisy of their statements and that they come from a point of complete ignorance (zero knowledge) about this sport. It doesn't work, but it might make you feel better. Your life, your choice, I was not polite with my sisters about this and it is absolutely not a discussion topic with them in any way shape or form. These are busybodies who have no other life and they'll quickly turn on someone less strong than you. You won't change their thinking, don't try, just ignore them as a minor nuisance. ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #9 March 22, 2004 what an exciting time in your life and in your wifes' life.....Since you both skydive,,,( and i LIKE the fact that She started first and your support for her, extended to the point of learning to jump as well.) You sound like a great couple..As for continuing with your jumping, it is tough to deal with it when it is still in the Future... Wait until you are in the Present.. Perhaps you will find that you'd simply rather not jump.. or you may reduce the frequency of your visits to the dz..... I was a pretty 'hard core jumper' when our children were born,, '83 and then '85... I knew and my wife knew, that it was not likely that i would simply stop.....But we ( I ) did accept the fact that I would slooow down..... No more off to the dz each weekend... especially if it meant leaving Nancy with the children all that time... So... I stayed current,,,, by visits to the dz once a month instead of once a week..by attending,,,with Nancy the occasional boogie or meeting .... But I was also making sure I was with the children when they were doing "kid things" like dance recitals, little league, plays at school etc etc.. we spent good time together during the weekdays, staying on a schedule at home and for school... We went to movies, we went to the zoo. we went to the park... ( Frankly I did find myself looking up at blue skies,,, and sighing once in a while,,, but so what???) The kids were always fun to be with,, ( remember, a parent gets to re live his or her childhood,,, over again with their children...) and I believe I learned as much from them as they did from me.during those years. (Kids are remarkable to be around ) .. It took me almost 8 years to fill a 150 jump log book during those years,,,,but i don't regret it a bit...And our family is better for it... The kids only came to the DZ a very few times, and even now are not " DZ children"..If they visit they have fun,,, but are not always at the club... When kids are little it takes a big effort to monitor them while at the same time stay an active skydiver. Sometime it boils down to one or the other....sometimes people can do both... Parenting should take Priority over Parachuting,, but...since You each know the particulars about the seriousness of our sport, if you can stay "within the envelope" of common safety practices and not get too wild.. you may very well find you can mix the two...peace... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Nightingale 0 #10 March 22, 2004 Tell them that watching you skydive will teach your children that some risks are acceptable, and that you can't always take the "safe" road in life. Sometimes, the rewards are well worth the risk. Its your life, your family, and your choice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FreeflyVan 0 #11 March 27, 2004 Hey everyone, Thanks for all your good wishes and advice. We just got back from AZ where we shared the good news we were gonna have two babies instead of the expected one. The first thing people said was how glad they were that we were gonna stop jumping. Needless to say we didn't deny nor confirm. Still on the fence about this, but after reading what others had to say, it's not the end all and be all. I've seen kids at the dz, and it's always a good environment. Much better than those nasty "Bad babysitter caught on tape" shows. I do know I won't let my kids jump until they are fully legal, they have to be able to sign that waiver on their own. Just have to hope the dz doesn't allow that until they're 18. Heck I didn't even start jumping until I was 32 and I'm now almost 35. LOL. Thanks again everyone. Cheers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Luv2Fall 0 #12 March 27, 2004 You sound like a good man, Sir. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ACMESkydiver 0 #13 March 27, 2004 Congratulations!!! My husband and I have 3 kids; 7 yr old daughter, and 6 yr old twin boys. started jumping last June...and whereas our family was hoping that it was a one-time birthday jump, it has become a passion. I agree with other posters on here that lessening the risk is a great idea when you're a skydiving parent; we are both diligent about safety. I've personally chosen not to move towards skydiving disciplines that have an increased risk factor; no big ways, no swooping, no BASE, etc. If my husband wanted to do those things (and he has indicated that he may someday) I would be alright with that as I KNOW how safety conscious he is, and I will stick with the belly-flying and basic canopy stuff. My husband hasn't jumped since last year to work on some business projects, but wanted me to continue because it just feeds my soul...I've come under fire for that from relatives and others. Our twins have Autism, and are 'permanently' (I say that in quotes because we feel that the term is complete BS) disabled. They cannot speak yet, and do not understand most simple language...but they have IMPROVED tremendously!!! And are continuing to improve! However I get the old 'How could you do that when you have disabled children?' First off NOBODY that says that has walked a YARD in our shoes...can you imagine coordinating 3 teachers, 4 therapists, 2 caregivers, 2 insurance companies that don't want to pay, a pediatric neurologist, and the state/government agencies?! And medications and allergies to dairy and all types of wheat and flour? Our house has locks on all appliances, doors, and windows, and we have to literally tape all of the vents down and block the oven and fireplace when in use or they will try to climb inside. These babies know no fear and can't speak or use sign language effectively, so we get alot of screaming and self-destructive head-banging from them out of frustration... Oh, and did I mention sleep disorders? Oh yeah, my babies are up at midnight for about 45 minutes, and then wake up for the DAY between 2am-4am. -plus an active, rock-climbing, soccer-playing 7 year old daughter. And we work full time (hence the business we build privately...to END our dependency on jobs ) So honestly dealing with all that, I don't think it is selfish as some people say behind my back to skydive. IT KEEPS ME SANE!!!! Your children will steal your heart away and become such a wonder and joy to you both. But at some point, when dealing with the wonders that are twins (Oy, I don't envy you and the Mrs. when it comes to feeding new-born twins around the clock...) gets to be a smidgey much, you'll need some escape. Skydiving can be that for you, and I truly feel that you will be better parents for allowing yourselves time to play together away from babies now and then. Congratulations again, and I sure hope this post didn't sound too sour...just wanted to show you an EXTREME example of needing to get away from it all sometimes when you're a parent! -And those beautiful kids are so precious when you come back home to them after some play-time for yourself. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jumpinjackflash 0 #14 March 27, 2004 For me? I want my children to live every day to the fullest. Get off the couch, don't sit around "watching" others live their lives on TV. LIVE IT! They know they are my world. They also know that we don't choose the means by which we leave this world. Choose Life. Simple.peace, JackIt's a gas, gas, gas... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
Nightingale 0 #10 March 22, 2004 Tell them that watching you skydive will teach your children that some risks are acceptable, and that you can't always take the "safe" road in life. Sometimes, the rewards are well worth the risk. Its your life, your family, and your choice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FreeflyVan 0 #11 March 27, 2004 Hey everyone, Thanks for all your good wishes and advice. We just got back from AZ where we shared the good news we were gonna have two babies instead of the expected one. The first thing people said was how glad they were that we were gonna stop jumping. Needless to say we didn't deny nor confirm. Still on the fence about this, but after reading what others had to say, it's not the end all and be all. I've seen kids at the dz, and it's always a good environment. Much better than those nasty "Bad babysitter caught on tape" shows. I do know I won't let my kids jump until they are fully legal, they have to be able to sign that waiver on their own. Just have to hope the dz doesn't allow that until they're 18. Heck I didn't even start jumping until I was 32 and I'm now almost 35. LOL. Thanks again everyone. Cheers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luv2Fall 0 #12 March 27, 2004 You sound like a good man, Sir. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #13 March 27, 2004 Congratulations!!! My husband and I have 3 kids; 7 yr old daughter, and 6 yr old twin boys. started jumping last June...and whereas our family was hoping that it was a one-time birthday jump, it has become a passion. I agree with other posters on here that lessening the risk is a great idea when you're a skydiving parent; we are both diligent about safety. I've personally chosen not to move towards skydiving disciplines that have an increased risk factor; no big ways, no swooping, no BASE, etc. If my husband wanted to do those things (and he has indicated that he may someday) I would be alright with that as I KNOW how safety conscious he is, and I will stick with the belly-flying and basic canopy stuff. My husband hasn't jumped since last year to work on some business projects, but wanted me to continue because it just feeds my soul...I've come under fire for that from relatives and others. Our twins have Autism, and are 'permanently' (I say that in quotes because we feel that the term is complete BS) disabled. They cannot speak yet, and do not understand most simple language...but they have IMPROVED tremendously!!! And are continuing to improve! However I get the old 'How could you do that when you have disabled children?' First off NOBODY that says that has walked a YARD in our shoes...can you imagine coordinating 3 teachers, 4 therapists, 2 caregivers, 2 insurance companies that don't want to pay, a pediatric neurologist, and the state/government agencies?! And medications and allergies to dairy and all types of wheat and flour? Our house has locks on all appliances, doors, and windows, and we have to literally tape all of the vents down and block the oven and fireplace when in use or they will try to climb inside. These babies know no fear and can't speak or use sign language effectively, so we get alot of screaming and self-destructive head-banging from them out of frustration... Oh, and did I mention sleep disorders? Oh yeah, my babies are up at midnight for about 45 minutes, and then wake up for the DAY between 2am-4am. -plus an active, rock-climbing, soccer-playing 7 year old daughter. And we work full time (hence the business we build privately...to END our dependency on jobs ) So honestly dealing with all that, I don't think it is selfish as some people say behind my back to skydive. IT KEEPS ME SANE!!!! Your children will steal your heart away and become such a wonder and joy to you both. But at some point, when dealing with the wonders that are twins (Oy, I don't envy you and the Mrs. when it comes to feeding new-born twins around the clock...) gets to be a smidgey much, you'll need some escape. Skydiving can be that for you, and I truly feel that you will be better parents for allowing yourselves time to play together away from babies now and then. Congratulations again, and I sure hope this post didn't sound too sour...just wanted to show you an EXTREME example of needing to get away from it all sometimes when you're a parent! -And those beautiful kids are so precious when you come back home to them after some play-time for yourself. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpinjackflash 0 #14 March 27, 2004 For me? I want my children to live every day to the fullest. Get off the couch, don't sit around "watching" others live their lives on TV. LIVE IT! They know they are my world. They also know that we don't choose the means by which we leave this world. Choose Life. Simple.peace, JackIt's a gas, gas, gas... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
