Before complaining about the human condition...

[vonSanta 0]

...I generally consider my life as a member of another species. So let's say life sucks and I hate just about everyone with a passion that'd make Gibson proud.

Let's take wolves for instance. Interesting critters, and pretty macho and cool.

If I was a wolf, chances are I wouldn't be the alpha male. At any rate, not from the start, I'd have to work my way up the corporate ladder.

1) I'd catch shit if I started eating before saying a prayer. The pre-food prayer is, of course "I must remember to get my arse outta the way when the more important wolf-ple (new word, blame the wolves, not me) are around. Bite one to the arse.

2) I'll always get the crap position when hunting. Why do *I* always have to be the one on the god damned muddy side of the prey? Why am *I* always the one running and running with absolutely no prospect of the more glorious part, that is, the actual killing of the prey? Tried it once; bite two to the arse.

3) DO not shag Mr Alpha's females. They may say no, but they really mean yes. Mr Alpha on the other hand, really means no, in a bite-to-the-arse-and-throat-and-goodluckyou'reonyourown sort of way. Bite three to the arse. Actually bite four, because the bitches (well, isn't that the correct word for a female of this species?) really DO mean no when they say so. Live and learn.

4) Puppies aren't cute. Especially when they get to the age where they dye their fur pink and blue and start growling "yeah, like umm" all the time. Do not 'put them straight'. Alpha female is of the opinion that *her* litter is the best ever. Bite four to the arse.

5) Rotting elk meat doesn't taste good.

6) If that cave is too comfy to be true, there's a bear in there.

7) Some mushrooms shouldn't be eaten. The resulting behaviour will give ya a bite-to-the-arse.

This is usually where I stop - it's my equivalent of counting to ten when I am about to explode in rage

Humans - such whiny, snivelly, lowly little creatues. How glad I am to be a slug.

Santa Von GrossenArsch
I only come in one flavour
ohwaitthatcanbemisunderst

[akarunway 1]

I'll second THAT motion

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[littlestranger 0]

This is pretty funny, even though I'm not sure I got it...no actually, I didn't get it, but it's still funny.

[Squeak 17]

stop bitchen about life and get on with it

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?