Things My Mother Taught Me

[boinky 0]

My Mother Taught Me About:

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING. . ..
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

4. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE. . .
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"`

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."

10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And last but not least...

12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"

.

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[skysprite 0]

Nice

~skysprite

[nanook 1]

My mother taught me several Einsteinian Theories:
"If you don't behave, i'll knock you into next week!!!"

_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[boinky 0]

Hey...Was your mom related to my mom, by chance?

.

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[nanook 1]

Possibly. Did she teach you about Hunting in Austrailia? Man she could put a good spin on those High heels.

_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[aerohaga 0]

My mom's fave expression-
"If it hurts when you do that, DON'T DO THAT!"

For my part, I know nothing with any certainty,
But the sight of the stars makes me dream.
-Vincent Van Gogh

[wartload 0]

My mother taught me to practice Zen ...

"You just sit there and think about what you did!"

[boinky 0]

I was the middle child, so I got spankings on both ends. She'd make us go out and pick a switch. We would, of course, go out and pick some tiny, spindly thing. She'd use that on us....then go out and pick the tree and spank us with that too!


When I was growing up, I swore her favorite phrase was, "This is going to hurt me a lot more than it's gonna' hurt you." Of course, being a kid, I didn't understand it at all. Now that I have children of my own....it breaks my heart every time I have to punish them.

.

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[QuickDraw 0]

My mom taught me to tell the milkman that she wasn't in.

-- Hope you don't die. --

I'm fucking winning

[Buried 0]

she taught me that
every time i masturbate I kill a kitten
We went through lots of cats when i was younger

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?