ACMESkydiver 0 #51 May 26, 2005 Quote"Your eyes appear to be glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?" yep, I really said that. (But I have known this cop a long time and we had this as a running gag). THAT'S HILARIOUS!!! ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hipwrddude 0 #52 May 26, 2005 A PA State Trooper turns onto a 4-lane road near Hershey, PA., and notices a car weaving in its lane, flips the bubblegum lights, then signals the driver to pull over. Finally, the driver pulls over. Pointing a flashlight in the teenage boys face, the trooper says, "Why didn't you pull over? Didn't you see my arrow?" Obviously intoxicated, the boy says, looking back, "No, I never saw the Indians." --according to a buddy of mine, the teenager was the son of the PA Chief of Police. You're always the starter in your own life! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #53 May 26, 2005 Quote"No, but I had to blow him to get out of it!" I wonder if that really happens? Weird... HEY, where's SEAKEV in all of this? Firefighter is always giving the local five-o a hard time...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveNFlorida 0 #54 May 26, 2005 angela stopped by cop in school zone. . angela calling her friend to bitch.. "fucking school zone, if they'd put a god damn flashing sign up like every other fucking school zone i'd have seen it. Fucking cop... blah blah" "there are children that can hear you. If you know whats best for you you'd stay quiet because i'm just writing you a warning." -cop to angela "*silence* " -angela being quiet awaiting her warning Angela Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
avenfoto 0 #55 May 26, 2005 not me.but my "co-defendant".. im driving home from a friends bands concert..plenty smashed, 2:30 am open beers and blunts a blazing.. (not the brightest idea, but niether is almost-suicide for pleasure..ie. skydiving/base) anyway..the cop is a real dick/asshole type we happen to get pulled over right into the parking lot of my buddies complex .. the usual scenario sobriety test (ending with handcuffs) and a vehicle search.. (w/ one more pair of handcuffs..) now were in the back of the same car whrere the cop takes us into town to show us off to his other cop buddies... hes sitting in front doing some paperwork and has parkinsons or something..maybe mmore like tremors.. any way my accomplice asks him out of NOwhere.."whats a matter officer shakes alot? why you shaking yo goddamn faggot? fuck you. fuck you you stupid faggot" no bullshit.... repeatedly until the cop removes him from the backseat takes him to the concrete and blackens his eye.. :( fucking pigs... on a happier note however the cop became so engrossed with this little development my dui turned into a pos. less than 20 grams...or a 200 dollar fine.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Swoopyswoop 0 #56 May 26, 2005 I was once asked by a highway patrolman if I was drinking, so I directly asked back if he was buying "when I die, I want to go like my grandfather while im sleeping, not like the passengers riding in the car with me Swoopster A.S.S. #6 Future T.S.S holder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rbrcokflichk 0 #57 May 26, 2005 Cops came to our dz a few years ago looking for kids from a party down the road. After a bit of prodding I looked up at the cute one and said "Show us your butt!" He says "Excuse me?" I said "Yea, show us your butt" He said "Have a good night folks" I really would have liked a better reaction than that!!! I'd rather have an awkward morning than a boring night!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tfelber 0 #58 May 26, 2005 I don't have a very good relationship with Johnny Law so I can give you a whole lot of things 1. Cop: (after pulling me over for 88 in a 45 with my girlfriend on the back) "Do you know what it's like to fall at 88 mph?" Me: "I know what it's like to fall at 135 mph! Do you?" 2. Cop: "You'd have handcuffs on if you were guilty." Me: "Having handcuffs on doesn't mean I'm guilty either!" 3. Me: (After cop pushed me against the wall and put cuffs on me) "Oh yeah, what do you think of this!" (As I pull my hands out of the handcuffs.) Cop: "I'll show you what I think of that!" 4. Cop: "How come you're passing a cop going so fast?" Me: "I didn't know you were a cop." 5. Cop: "You keep that up and we'll take you to Madison!" Me: "Don't try to scare me with your F!@#ing threats!" (I spent that night in Madison Street Jail) 6. Cop: "If you don't hangup that phone I'm going to throw you back in the tank." Me: "I'm not a F@#$ing prisoner here. I'm just waiting for a ride." (That didn't stop him from throwing me in the tank though.) All true events. Some I got arrested for, some I didn't. I'm not sure I've learned anything from these encounters. Other than me and the law don't usually get along very well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Twoply 0 #59 May 26, 2005 I was pulled over for , honestly, rolling a stop sign at 6am, Satarday which was also the morning of my birthday, on an empty road. He asked if this was my first ticket, I replied "No sir." He said "Well this won't be a new experience for you then, will it?" Upon signing my ticket I asked him how long he'd been a police officer. He stated he'd been on the "force" for 3 years. I said "Really? Cause you act like a rookie," and drove off immediatly. Some cops are just dicks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #60 May 26, 2005 QuoteQuote"No, but I had to blow him to get out of it!" I wonder if that really happens? Weird... I dunno, but have you heard the blonde joke? This knockout blonde blows by a trooper at 20 over. Trooper pulls her over, asks for her license, then radios dispatch to run the info. Dispatch tells the trooper, "go back to the woman and open your fly, trust me on this!" Trooper was puzzled, but went ahead. Upon seeing the trooper's dick exposed, the blonde exclaimed "oh no! Not another breathalyzer!!" "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #61 May 26, 2005 QuoteToday was the best. I was in a car accident (please everyone send flowers and sympathy and chocolate, I am in IMMENSE pain) <---kidding, no big deal guys Ugh, hell....now I really do hurt...day 2. ANYHOW I think the worst thing I said to a cop was a popular one here on DZ.com... I sent him a PM and called him 'holier than thou', and 'what are you thinking?' and a bunch of BS like that, but then I apologized. -I don't think that counted, it wasn't in person. Doesn't take quite so much marbles to bitch at a cop on the internet... HOWEVER there was the time a few weeks ago I walked up to a couple of police men (one county, one city o' Seattle) as they were eating their lunch. I asked them what it takes to get on the police force, blah blah blah...I said my husband might wanna do that, blah blah blah...now doesn't sound so bad, but then add in that I was completely drunk outside of a Mariner's game in the beer garden waiting for my sister and brother and sis-in-law. Poor cops had to put up with some drunken idiot blathering on about nothing while they were trying to eat... Come to think of it, some poor skydivers had to put up with a drunken idiot drunk dialing them from the same game, too.... I think Higley and the Turtle have to bear my drunken bullshit more than anyone else I know...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cloudseeker2001 0 #62 May 26, 2005 About 10 years ago OFF DUTY HPD cops hunted a woman down on 610 and shot her dead on the side of the freeway. About a week later I got pulled over right in front of Sam's Boat, a popular patio bar here in Houston. As the cop was walking up to my truck, I started yelling "DON'T SHOOT, DON'T SHOOT" and I got the attention of about 200 people on the patio! That cop was very pissed off and I got two tickets but it was well worth the time and expense!!!!!!!!!!! "Some call it heavenly in it's brilliance, others mean and rueful of the western dream" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SeaKev 0 #63 May 26, 2005 QuoteQuote"No, but I had to blow him to get out of it!" I wonder if that really happens? Weird... HEY, where's SEAKEV in all of this? Firefighter is always giving the local five-o a hard time... A few weeks ago we were working a car accident on a local highway. After several vehicles passed through the scene doing their best to create even more of a patient count for us, I ordered my driver to position the fire engine across all the lanes on our side of the highway, essentially closing the road. Upon doing this, the state trooper, who was "eagerly" keeping an eye on us from his rearview mirror, promptly exited his vehicle and asked me, "What the hell does he think he's doing?". I replied, "I'm guessing he's thinking it's bullshit that he's having to do his job and yours." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #64 May 26, 2005 QuoteQuoteQuote"No, but I had to blow him to get out of it!" I wonder if that really happens? Weird... HEY, where's SEAKEV in all of this? Firefighter is always giving the local five-o a hard time... A few weeks ago we were working a car accident on a local highway. After several vehicles passed through the scene doing their best to create even more of a patient count for us, I ordered my driver to position the fire engine across all the lanes on our side of the highway, essentially closing the road. Upon doing this, the state trooper, who was "eagerly" keeping an eye on us from his rearview mirror, promptly exited his vehicle and asked me, "What the hell does he think he's doing?". I replied, "I'm guessing he's thinking it's bullshit that he's having to do his job and yours." "D'oh, BART!!" Damn, firefighters can talk all the smack they want to the po-lice and not get arrested...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trumanjsparks 0 #65 May 27, 2005 To a large, black, Detroit police officer while waiting for a friend to pick me up at the airport.....'Why don't you go fuck with some crackheads instead of me?' Bad idea. Broken hearts and dirty windows make it difficult to see. That's why last night and this morning always look the same to me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tintin 0 #66 May 27, 2005 Back in the day, when I was at Uni , a mate and myself where totally cained on skunk. Got the munches about 2am, me having a car, said I'd drive the 500 yards to the petrol station. We gets in the car then all of a sudden a Calton screams up in front of where I'm parked. My mate shouts "fuck its a hit " referring to the badass Asian guys living in the last house of our digs. So we duck down in the car ... next thing, a tap on my window, its a cop (from what turns out to be the unmarked police calton).We get out the car, mates on the other side with another copper fessing up to everything, whilst i'm denying everything. They then asked to search the car ....man was i embarrassed, coke cans, Mac rappers, cig packets everywhere. So after doing the search , whislt I was appologising for the state of the car and if there was anything I could do to help (the thought of being chucked outa college and my folks going through me stoned head). Anyways nothing to find, so he turns to me and says (sternly) you doing class 'A's'. No sir, i replied. He came back with ' Being smoking ?'. (Me) Yes sir ..(pause) marlborough lights , care for one (as I got them out my pocket ). (His reply) mind how you go and walked to his partner, said something and then went back to there car ! Funny thing was that after they left my mate convinced me still to drive to the garage, saying it might look really suspicious if we didn't !! Sorry got carried away ------------------------------------------------- Please forgive the sp errors, I have dyslexia. Don't laugh ... the last time i went to a toga party, I went dressed as a goat !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #67 May 27, 2005 QuoteBack in the day, when I was at Uni , a mate and myself where totally cained on skunk. Got the munches about 2am, me having a car, said I'd drive the 500 yards to the petrol station. We gets in the car then all of a sudden a Calton screams up in front of where I'm parked. My mate shouts "fuck its a hit " referring to the badass Asian guys living in the last house of our digs. So we duck down in the car ... next thing, a tap on my window, its a cop (from what turns out to be the unmarked police calton).We get out the car, mates on the other side with another copper fessing up to everything, whilst i'm denying everything. They then asked to search the car ....man was i embarrassed, coke cans, Mac rappers, cig packets everywhere. So after doing the search , whislt I was appologising for the state of the car and if there was anything I could do to help (the thought of being chucked outa college and my folks going through me stoned head). Anyways nothing to find, so he turns to me and says (sternly) you doing class 'A's'. No sir, i replied. He came back with ' Being smoking ?'. (Me) Yes sir ..(pause) marlborough lights , care for one (as I got them out my pocket ). (His reply) mind how you go and walked to his partner, said something and then went back to there car ! Funny thing was that after they left my mate convinced me still to drive to the garage, saying it might look really suspicious if we didn't !! Sorry got carried away ...and what part of the universe was this in??? Online 'accents' are so cute...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
philly51 0 #68 May 27, 2005 "Officer, I drive much better when I'm sober." Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, Shouting "...holy shit...what a ride!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #69 May 27, 2005 Quote"What the hell does he think he's doing?". I replied, "I'm guessing he's thinking it's bullshit that he's having to do his job and yours." Oh Ke-e-e-e-vin...you have more than this, I've heard 'em! ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tintin 0 #70 May 27, 2005 University What do you guy's call it ? ------------------------------------------------- Please forgive the sp errors, I have dyslexia. Don't laugh ... the last time i went to a toga party, I went dressed as a goat !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #71 May 27, 2005 Quote University What do you guy's call it ? College. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nerdgirl 0 #72 May 27, 2005 Quote Damn, firefighters can talk all the smack they want to the po-lice and not get arrested... And firefighters get to park curbside at the airport without being harassed by the airport police! Getting picked up at La Guardia in the big red FDNY Suburban dually is very cool! marg Act as if everything you do matters, while laughing at yourself for thinking anything you do matters. Tibetan Buddhist saying Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #73 May 27, 2005 QuoteQuote Damn, firefighters can talk all the smack they want to the po-lice and not get arrested... And firefighters get to park curbside at the airport without being harassed by the airport police! Getting picked up at La Guardia in the big red FDNY Suburban dually is very cool! marg That'd be better than a limo...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tintin 0 #74 May 27, 2005 Cheers girl, funny thread, made me laugh, Goodnight . ------------------------------------------------- Please forgive the sp errors, I have dyslexia. Don't laugh ... the last time i went to a toga party, I went dressed as a goat !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tintin 0 #75 May 27, 2005 2 am here by the way ------------------------------------------------- Please forgive the sp errors, I have dyslexia. Don't laugh ... the last time i went to a toga party, I went dressed as a goat !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
