0
lisamariewillbe

Happy Birthday Freeflir29

By lisamariewillbe, in The Bonfire

Recommended Posts

VanillaSkyGirl    6

VanillaSkyGirl
Quote

no way are you older then him....



I was trying to make him feel young...I'm only older by 5 months. The 30's are the most amazing years, though. B|

Quote

im not spanking him, I do however think I get his spankings :| funny how that shit works sometimes



Ah, I prefer getting spanked, also, so I understand. Lol...carry on, then. :P

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

antifnsocial    0

antifnsocial
Quote

Okay for his time zone he is officially 34 years old.... Happy Birthday Killer....

Happy Birthday! Post your boobies for Clay everyone!! :D [Thinking cheap Birthday present...] :D:ph34r:
Please feel free to reply to my posts and pm's, but only if you're smart enough to understand what they really mean.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

antifnsocial    0

antifnsocial
Quote

ROFL that card was sent to iraq weeks ago... gotta allot for delivery times

AWWWWW... you sent boobies to your man? How sweet!! Here's one of mine for the both of you!! ;) Cute couple!
Please feel free to reply to my posts and pm's, but only if you're smart enough to understand what they really mean.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

SuFantasma    0

SuFantasma
Clay's Trivia Answers:

Q Why does Clay date women ?
A Cuz sheep can't cook

Q Why Clay likes to make love to sheep on the top of a cliff?
A Cuz if you were faced with certain death, wouldn't you want to push back?

Q Why does Clay like wearing oversized gumboots?
A So they can place the hind legs of the sheep in them to stop them from running away.

Q What does Clay call a sheep without legs?
A A cloud


Q What is the advantage of Clay having a sheep for a girlfriend?
A She does not mind if you screw her sister

Q What is the biggest lie Clay ever said?
A I was just helping the sheep over the fence

Q What is the smallest organ in a sheep?
A Clay's penis

Q What is the difference between a Limousine and a sheep?
A You wouldn't find Clay inside a Limousine

Q What do you call Clay when he has a sheep under one arm, and a chicken under the other?
A Bi-sexual




CLAY' WORLD


A busload of camera-toting tourists come across Clay Fowler at the Freefall Convention,having sex with a sheep. One of them walks over to Clay and asks "Are you shearing?" Clay gets a firmer grip of the sheep and replies with a snarl "Nah, piss off and get your own"


A HELLUVA LOTTA REASONS WHY SHEEP ARE BETTER

1. Clay can get a better grip on a sheep's ear
2. Sheep never ask about Clay's former lovers and then get pissed off when Clay tells them
3. No matter how old Clay is, he can always find a willing sheep
4. Sheep are never concerned about their reputation
5. Sheep don't smell like tuna fish
6. Clay can feed a sheep to a crocodile when Clay is done and Clay won't get thrown in prison for it
7. A sheep is warm on both sides
8. Sheep don't ask "What has Clay done for me lately?"
9. Clay can be a sheep farmer (aka polygamy)
10. Clay can sell a sheep when he is tired of it
11. Clay don't have to buy dinner for a sheep first. It can be Clay's dinner afterward
12. Sheep make the same noise all the time
13. Clay don't have to hide Clay'scredit cards around sheep
14. Sheep don't complain if Clay have other sheep
15. Sheep are always on all fours
16. No one has ever heard a sheep say,"Clay is scum."
17. Sheep don't expect orgasm
18. A sheep doesn't mind if Clay is done in two minutes
19. A sheep doesn't mind if Clay go to sleep afterward
20. Sheep don't have fathers with shotguns
21. Clay can kick a sheep in the head and it won't mind you still calling Clay "Baby"
22. Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth
23. Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather
24. Nuttin' beats mutton
25. Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel
26. Sheep won't drink Clay's liquor, smoke Clay's weed, snort Clay's coke, and then tell Clay they have to be home early
27. Sheep never ask if Clay is ready to settle down
28. Sheep won't tell all their friends about the time Clay couldn't get it up
29. Sheep won't ask if Clay is gay the first time he can't get it up for the second time
30. A sheep won't get drunk and throw up on Clay's gear
31. A sheep won't use Clay's razor to shave its legs, or Clay's pocketknife to open a paint can
32. Sheep never have a headache
33. A sheep won't give Clay'sfavourite hunting shirt to Goodwill
34. Sheep grow their own fur coats
35. Sheep aren't into talking before or after sex
36. Sheep are "ram tough"
37. A sheep won't ask for a long lasting relationships, and a sheep won't cry when Clayt tells her it's over
38. A Sheep won't nag Clay, and a sheep won't tell Clay he is doing it all wrong.
39. A sheep won't tell Clay to take out the garbage when Clay's favorite show comes on T.V., and a sheep won't ask Clay to cut the grass in the middle of the

ball game.
40. A sheep won't expect flowers or candy on it's birthday, and a sheep won't mind if Clay forgets an anniversary.
41. A sheep won't kiss and tell, and a sheep won't tell about the other guys Clay's been with.
42. A sheep won't object to doing it doggie style, and a sheep won't smoke Clay's stash afterwards.
43. A sheep won't wear a mud pack to bed, And a sheep won't leave hair curlers all over the bedroom floor.
44. A sheep won't expect Clay to wine and dine her first, and a sheep won't have her mother moving in with Clay.
45. A sheep won't drink Clay's last beer, and a sheep won't ask to borrow Clay's toothbrush.
46. A sheep won't make Clay say, "I love you," if Clay doesn't really mean it, and a sheep won't write you a Dear Clay letter.
47. A sheep won't try to hog all the covers, and a sheep won't insist you wear pyjamas to bed.
48. A sheep won't spend an eternity in the bathroom putting in her diaphragm, and a sheep won't leave make-up all over the bathroom towels in the morning.
49. A sheep won't insist Clay do it with the lights out, and a sheep won't ask Clay to put a rubber on.
50. A sheep won't ask Clay where the blonde hair on Clay'sjacket came from, and a sheep won't ask about the lipstick marks on Clay's schlong.
51. A sheep won't care if you don't shower for a few days, and a sheep won't object to an adult movie to get you in the mood.
52. A sheep won't tell Clay she doesn't swallow, and a sheep won't tell Clay she's expecting.
53. A sheep won't ask how many other girls Clay has been with, and a sheep won't ask if she's the prettiest one.
54. A sheep won't ask to move in with Clay, and a sheep won't make a scene if Clay finds someone else.
55. A sheep won't tell Clay she's got a headache, and a sheep won't get suspicious if Clay tells her you're working late at the office again.
56. A sheep won't ask if that's all the bigger it gets, and a sheep won't ask for multiple orgasms.
57. A sheep won't send Clay out for pizza at 1:00 a.m., and a sheep won't insist Clay call her a cab at 2:00 a.m.
58. A sheep won't worry what the neighbors think, and a sheep won't tell Clay to keep quiet because the kids might hear.
59. A sheep won't ask for money for the hairdresser, and a sheep won't tell Clay it's that time of the month.
60. A sheep won't borrow Clay's car and put a scratch in it. and a sheep won't borrow Clay's razor.
61. A sheep won't object to a threesome, and a sheep won't accuse Clay of giving her VD.
62. A sheep won't be insecure about her figure, and a sheep won't insist on getting on top of Clay.
63. A sheep won't ask where Clay was out all night, and a sheep won't object if Clay bring another sheep home.
64. And finally, a sheep won't ask Clay to marry her !!!x
Y yo, pa' vivir con miedo, prefiero morir sonriendo, con el recuerdo vivo".
- Ruben Blades, "Adan Garcia"

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

SuFantasma    0

SuFantasma
EVERYONE!!!!

I have profusely apologized to Lisamarriewillbe, and I a admit that in retrospect the post was distateful, although I meant no harm and I was just trying to be "over-the-top" funny....

So please, everyone who read the post before it was edited, please accept my sincerest apology !

Lisa & Clay ... Luv you guys ! Happy B'day to the Big guy and have a wonderful reunion !!!!!
Y yo, pa' vivir con miedo, prefiero morir sonriendo, con el recuerdo vivo".
- Ruben Blades, "Adan Garcia"

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
0
Go To Topic Listing