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Bolas

Time to come clean...

By Bolas, in The Bonfire

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selbbub78    0

selbbub78
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As pentance for your sin, I think you should have to wear her belly dancer costume during the memorial Day Beach Boogie.;):D





which one :) :) :)

but that's not gonna work, I don't know if i'm gonna be able to work it out to go.... How about lost Prairie????:) :) :) :) :) :)


CReW SKies,
bubbles
"Women fake orgasms - men fake whole relationships" – Sharon Stone
"The world is my dropzone" (wise crewdog quote)
"The light dims, until full darkness pierces into the world."-KDM

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wildfan75    1

wildfan75
Has anyone checked their myspace bulletins yet?

This posted by our very own Bolas (sorry if repost, I looked but didn't see it):

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Guys since it is Valentines Day and all I figured I would pass along some helpful advice on how to keep your girl happy. I hope you find it as helpful as I have.


1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "Could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (Or--if she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "You better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then--when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for wussies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "Forget you" and grab the other girls tush.
Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "If you don't stop complaining about the cold right now you're going to be complaining about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet...kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things...like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say "No, shes not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile...then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what i'm talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. She'll say "No, its just the rain." Ten minutes later turn to her and just scream "Stop crying you baby!" Girls like a tough man as I've already stated.

22. Titty twisters...and plenty of them.

23. If you're listening to music and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. Two words...Dutch Oven.

25. Remember her birthday but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

26. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call youre going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really excited. Now dont call.

27. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny

28. Ask her to marry you on a public forum. Get everyone on that forum all excited for you and keep everyone in suspense waiting for her answer. When she answers yes (because you know she will), tell her you were just kidding because you don't want her or anyone on that public forum to think that you are capable of such feelings.

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Rebecca    0

Rebecca
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No bad feelings here. I applaud attempts at pulling the wool over everyone's eyes. Unfortunately, I thought the execution was unfunny and transparent. :|

My only joy was that some people fell for it.
;)



Your joy is my purpose in life. My work for the day is done.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

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Squeak    17

Squeak
OK so is this why the other thread was made:D:D:D

if you 2 are having a joke with each other that fine, wether other people find it funy is a different quetion all together.

Personally it's something I would do too, so I"m fine with it..Was it deleted?
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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GTAVercetti    0

GTAVercetti
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My only joy was that some people fell for it.
;)



Your joy is my purpose in life. My work for the day is done.



If it is your purpose in life, then you cannot quit working! I require more of you. Bring that beautiful eyeball closer. ;)
Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing.

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hollyhjb    0

hollyhjb
Too late I already missed the whole thing....stupid work! I want a recap! and I want to know why it was deleted...shouldn't comedy (good and bad) be saved for future generations?

Edit: I just got good news that this will not be lost! For those of you that missed it, here's a re-cap: http://lagaff.com
"I reject your reality and substitute my own" ~Adam Savage

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