guppie01 0 #1 May 23, 2007 I swear the senior management w/in the company I work for just sit around a big ass table coming up with "Buzz" words.... the names are forever changing. Announcement today: I am now officially known as a "Human Assest" I am no longer known as a team member, or an associate, contributor, member, or employee, I am a "Human Assest." God I love this shit!!!! g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #2 May 23, 2007 Wow.. I know some big assests... hah.. So it seems we've all been reduced to a balance sheet entry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
haymangonzo 0 #3 May 23, 2007 Who is the ASS-est of them all? *** Nice to meet you toot! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #4 May 23, 2007 Quote Wow.. I know some big assests... hah.. So it seems we've all been reduced to a balance sheet entry. And you're just realizing this? What did you think "Human Resources" was all about? We're just a resource for Management to get things done. Think about it, we're a renewable resource. I laugh only because it's so true... "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #5 May 23, 2007 "Human Asset." Quote Wonder if that's another way of saying expendable!? ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #6 May 23, 2007 Quote Quote Wow.. I know some big assests... hah.. So it seems we've all been reduced to a balance sheet entry. And you're just realizing this? What did you think "Human Resources" was all about? We're just a resource for Management to get things done. Think about it, we're a renewable resource. I laugh only because it's so true... Thats right.. and I only laugh because I AM management! muahahah! Get on my balance sheet bitch! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #7 May 23, 2007 Quote Quote Quote Wow.. I know some big assests... hah.. So it seems we've all been reduced to a balance sheet entry. And you're just realizing this? What did you think "Human Resources" was all about? We're just a resource for Management to get things done. Think about it, we're a renewable resource. I laugh only because it's so true... Thats right.. and I only laugh because I AM management! muahahah! Get on my balance sheet bitch! Ohh Emm Gee!! Wait! How much you paying? "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #8 May 23, 2007 Quote Wait! How much you paying? About five bucks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #9 May 23, 2007 Synergy (from the Greek synergos, συνεργός meaning working together, circa 1660) refers to the phenomenon in which two or more discrete influences or agents acting together create an effect greater than that predicted by knowing only the separate effects of the individual agents. It is originally a scientific term. Often (but not always, see Toxicologic synergy, below) the prediction is the sum of the effects each is able to create independently. The opposite of synergy is antagonism, the phenomenon where two agents in combination have an overall effect which is less than that predicted from their individual effects. Synergism stems from the 1657 theological doctrine that human will cooperates with the Divine Grace in regeneration[1]. The term began to be used in the broader, non-theological, sense by 1925. Synergy can also mean: A mutually advantageous conjunction where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. A dynamic state in which combined action is favored over the sum of individual component actions. Behavior of whole systems unpredicted by the behavior of their parts taken separately. More accurately known as emergent behavior The word makes me want to vomit. When you have to replace "make this work" or "work together" with "synergy" you are a prick. You think your shit smells like roses because you use the word of the day toilet paper from Sharper Image. We should labotomize you and feed you to pigs. At least then, you will be contributing to society. That is all. Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #10 May 23, 2007 LOL.... The other announcement today... Our OD = Organization Developement (previously known as HR), will now be known as Human Resources. WTF? It changed to OD 2 years ago, and is back to HR.... Ooooooh the other one our company has is: "Swim Lanes" = cross functional working. g "Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisL 2 #11 May 23, 2007 Quote Announcement today: I am now officially known as a "Human Assest" I am no longer known as a team member, or an associate, contributor, member, or employee, I am a "Human Assest." g You are a human Asshat?__ My mighty steed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #12 May 23, 2007 What's an Assest? I've heard of an Asset, but Assest is something entirely different. I suppose I could look it up, but this is easier just asking the author to enlighten us. "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simplyputsi 0 #13 May 23, 2007 I hate buzzwords. You can always tell the corporate JA because ever other dang word is a buzzword. You just want to smack him upside the head and say nooooo one talks like that you jack ass. Skymama's #2 stalker - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #14 May 23, 2007 Quote I hate buzzwords. You can always tell the corporate JA because ever other dang word is a buzzword. You just want to smack him upside the head and say nooooo one talks like that you jack ass. Thats a great "segway" into how no one in the real world talks like that. At least no one I know. Speaking like that would get you "swim laned" in to a ditch. I wanna punch someone just for writing it. Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simplyputsi 0 #15 May 23, 2007 What you need is some knowledge acquisition Skymama's #2 stalker - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
