old joke but funny

[lilDevil 2]

A train hits a busload of Catholic schoolgirls and they all perish.They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates, and
St.Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "Ok, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one." St Peter says,"OK, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her arse in it."

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" Cant keep a good woman down "
Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

[aprilcat 0]

That is a funny joke, but everyone has heard it and I wanted to come up with a funny reply. That doesn't work because all I can think of is:

1) Why you gotta put my business up in public?
2) Why you gotta put YOUR business in public?
3) I thought we agreed what happens in Heaven stays in Heaven

You get the drift. So I'll just say 'thanks for the laugh' (4. Wasn't it NUNS???) ~~April

Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo!

[iambeav2 0]

3 nuns were cleaning out their pastor's room when they found his dirty magazines and condoms in his sock drawer. They all decided he should learn from this incident, and each did one thing to "teach" the pastor a lesson. Later that evening they discuss what each did. The first nun said, "I ripped all his magazines up and put them where he could find them so he knows he has been caught". The second nun says, "Well I poked holes in his condoms with a needle a bunch of times." That's when the third nun stands up, says, "Oh shit" and goes to the nearest clinic...

long time since i've heard that joke, so i made it as short, sweet and to the point as i could remember.

...it's not the fact that you don't appreciate what you have until it's gone...it's the fact that you don't appreciate what you have until someone appreciates it for you!

[souleh 0]

Heheh, very good :)

A nun gets on a bus and sits behind the driver. She says to the bus driver she needs someone to talk to. She lives in a convent and wants to experience sex before she dies. The bus driver agrees but the nun explains she can't have sex with a married man because it would be a sin. The bus driver says no problem, he's not married.. The nun says she also has to die a virgin, so she has to take it in the ass. The bus driver agrees again and being the only two people on the bus they go in the back and take care of business. When they were done and he had resumed driving the bus driver said, Sister, I have a confession to make, I'm married and have three kid's." The nun replied, "That's O.K. I have a confession too. My name is Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party.

'buttplugs? where?' - geno

[ScottishJohn 25]

Two Nuns , a novice and a mother superior are driving through Transylvania.

They have been driving all day and it was getting dark when on a quiet country road Dracula jumped out in front of them.

The Novice starts screaming "It's Dracula , what shall we do ?"

The Mother Superior says "Quick show him your cross"

The Novice then winds down the car window and shouts out "FUCK OFF YOU BASTARD VAMPIRE"

I know it's a bit corny.

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If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers

[lekstrom10k 0]

Two young nuns were finishing dinner, when one says " I want to go to the book store, would you come with me?". The other one say "Yes but we have to ask Mother Superior first as we are in downtown Chicago and its getting dark soon. Mother Superior says" Yes but you have to walk west 5 blocks then 3 blocks north then back East 4 blocks as it is the only safe way". They start walking and one" Says we could cut off 8 blocks if we go up this alley." The other one say s" Mother Superior said we can only go the way she told us". The first one says" We are Gods chosen people and he will protect us. Who do you believe in God or Mother Superior". The other says "Your right lets go up the alley".By now its dark and two guys come out from the shadows and rape them . After they leave one nun still lying on her back looks over to the other one and says"How are we going to explain to Mother Superior about us getting raped twice?" The other one says "but you were only raped once"".Arent we going to come back the same way" was her reply