porpoishead 5 #1 June 29, 2007 got to see one first hand and it was funny as all fucking hell. so this dive tender at work and his pal bought some pumps, they were on sale. for a reason that nobody is sure of they decide to bring them offshore. being the dumbasses that they are, they didnt read the instructions. seemed pretty straight forward. insert cock in tube, hold finger over suction relief hole, pump up bulb to build suction, look out john holmes so later that night fuknut1 yells down to fuknut2 on the back deck, "hey dave come up here quick bro quick" when dave makes it to the door he opens it yells "fuck you jimmy you fucking freak" slams door well in the instructions for the pump it read in bold leters to not leave the pump on for more than a couple minutes no longer than 5min. not having read this the poor bastard left it on and watched a movie. when the flick was over his dick had blown out inside the pump tube and covered the vacum release hole so he couldnt release the suction. the pictures look similar, well .....exactly like a red water balloon, poor dumbasses manhood was all deformed for a couple days and all we could do was laugh, the other guy threw his pump overboard..... be careful out there fellasif you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #2 June 29, 2007 "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RALFFERS 0 #3 June 29, 2007 I agree with Billy; that's funny as fuck Poor bastard Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself - "from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
1969912 0 #4 June 29, 2007 I was just about to ask if anyone haas experienced tha failure of an artificial vagina. Strange timing. "Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ." -NickDG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
1969912 0 #5 June 29, 2007 He's lucky his member didn't get extruded out through the little release hole. Jeezus. "Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ." -NickDG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
porpoishead 5 #6 June 29, 2007 yeah right, the "anybody think of buying one" line in that thread kinda prompted it. you know how it goes you go to the store for one thing and ya come back with all sorts of uneccessary shit, some of it downright dangerous if you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
1969912 0 #7 June 29, 2007 Did those guys have to go to the hospital? "Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ." -NickDG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
porpoishead 5 #8 June 29, 2007 no, only one of them fucked up. good thing I split them up to opposite shifts, who knows what would have happened had both the geniuses had been together. we still cant figure out how the fuck he got the thing off, neither can he for that matter, he was too busy freaking out. after a couple days his shit went back to normal kinda sorta, dude couldnt even figure out how to hold it when he had to pee. fucker was nervous and scared like a bitch. I wasnt about to call a helicopter for that shit, imagine that mayday call over the radio if you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #9 June 29, 2007 Quote I wasnt about to call a helicopter for that shit, imagine that mayday call over the radio You should have! That idiot would have deserved the shame! "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
1969912 0 #10 June 29, 2007 You mentioned diving. Are these guys responsible for complex mixed gas type dives? Worse yet, are they responsible for monitoring divers breathing gas delivered by umbilical from topside? "Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ." -NickDG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
porpoishead 5 #11 June 29, 2007 Quote You mentioned diving. Are these guys responsible for complex mixed gas type dives? Worse yet, are they responsible for monitoring divers breathing gas delivered by umbilical from topside? theyre tenders bud, they choke hose. theyre starting to get the hang of running the chamber and all, just gotta watch em like a hawk. I split those fuckers up to opposite shifts whenever they come out together. they can do some quality clusterfucking at times. they call me now and again, they want to come out and do some jumpsif you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peej 0 #12 June 29, 2007 Quote they call me now and again, they want to come out and do some jumps I'm seeing a "Penis Pump Pass" jump Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Snowwhite 0 #13 June 29, 2007 A friend of mine was going thru EMT training and had to do a shift in the ER. Some guy came thru who had used a vacuum hose (attached to his vacuum cleaner) for the same kind of purpose. Apparently he had about the same reaction, and everybody in the ER talked about it for months. Funny stuff. You boys will stick your thing in the darndest places.skydiveTaylorville.org [email protected] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
