Jury Duty

[RALFFERS 0]

I got a summons for jury duty the other week and need to somehow get out of it. I have too much going on right now to have time for 1 thing, and 2, knowing my luck, it'll be a murder trial that'll take months and there is no way in hell that's happening because my ticket to FL is Already booked.

So, being the quick thinker that I am, I thought of a few things I could do or say in the selection process that will preclude me; some of which or funnier and/or stupider than others... Figured I'd give you guys something to laugh at

1) I could the honest thing and try to have it rescheduled, but that wouldn't be much fun.

2) I could try and say it's hard for me to get around, I injured myself recently or something and have a medical excuse from a doctor

3) I've had so many friends in jail and seen what it does that I wouldn't send the worst murderer away.

4) I'm a racist and hate everybody.

Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself -

"from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of

[airtwardo 6]

I'm a racist and hate everybody.

Quote

That's the one!

Just cut a couple holes in a white sheet and wear it into the selection pool room...they won't ask ya back!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[NWFlyer 2]

I have it this week. I seem to be Seattle/King County's favorite juror these days - they seem to call me just often enough that I can't say "but I've served within the last year."

They have wireless in the jury room, so I'll end up working from there anyway. Hopefully it'll be the usual ... sit around for two days, don't get selected, go home with the thanks of the court.

I'd say do the honest thing ... I'm sure that they've heard pretty much every creative excuse and attempt to get out of service already.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[RALFFERS 0]

Opps....forgot to put a "other" option...please share any ideas.

Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself -

"from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of

[raftman 12]

Huh? What? Excuse Me?
Act like you are almost deaf, and you're gone.
Worked for me.

[sharimcm 0]

Just tell them you believe in an eye for an eye, and they should kill the bastard regardless of his offense.

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

[RALFFERS 0]

Quote

That's the one!

Just cut a couple holes in a white sheet and wear it into the selection pool room...they won't ask ya back!

Sounds like a plan...but I'm pretty sure that'll be the cause for another trial

Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself -

"from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of

[Conundrum 1]

Just tell the judge that you can't afford to take the time off work because you don't get paid for jury duty. They let go of everyone who said that when I had to go.

I was chosen to be a juror and I had a blast. The trial lasted 5 days.

[davedlg 0]

Quote

I'm a racist and hate everybody.

Be careful, I actually know of someone who got charged with contempt of court for being too outlandish with that one.

[ExAFO 0]

Be honest and up front with the judge. Anything less can get you a contempt charge.

Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW.

[ryoder 1,401]

Tell them you have a four-year degree in science or engineering. If the lawyers are doing any kind of jury selection, the first people they weed out are the ones who understand science and critical thinking.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[GARYC24 3]

I just got a jury summons too.
I have to call in after 5:00 pm starting 10-29.
I'm group 84, looking forward to taking a day off actually, (if needed) I have only missed work 11 days this year!

[Andy9o8 0]

Do the honest thing and reschedule.

As a trial attorney, I can't tell you how maddeningly frustrating it is when the only people who ever wind up on juries are college students, the chronically un/under-employed and retirees, because all the employed, productive people between ages 22 and 65 "get out of jury duty."

Let me tug at your guilt string: There aren't many nations in the world that really are democracies governed by the rule of law. You're privileged to live in one of the few. A hallmark of genuine rule of law is trial by a jury of common citizens. It's not just a "civic duty"; it's a privilege which you should be proud to exercise - just like voting.

Yes, government "of the people, by the people" is inconvenient, and at times burdensome. Well, it's the price we pay. The only thing worse than a legal system with universal, mandatory jury duty by citizens is...anything else.

[Andy9o8 0]

Quote

Tell them you have a four-year degree in science or engineering. If the lawyers are doing any kind of jury selection, the first people they weed out are the ones who understand science and critical thinking.

Depends. If the theory of your side of the case has some real complexities and nuances to it, that's sometimes exactly the kind of person you want on your jury. On the other hand, if your case depends on jurors throwing up their hands because they just don't get it, then you try to select morons.

I'm not being pessimistic - it's just the way it is.

[f1freak 0]

Quote

I was chosen to be a juror and I had a blast. The trial lasted 5 days.

I was chosen also, I'm really glad i had the chance to experience it. We even found the guy not guilty...

HAVE FUN...
...JUST DONT DIE

[NWFlyer 2]

The judge who gave the little "welcome to jury duty" speech last time I served put it this way (I'm paraphrasing...)

"As citizens, we really only ask you to do four things. 1) Obey the laws. 2) Pay your taxes. 3) Vote. 4) Serve on juries." He pointed out that the vast majority of people don't resist the first three, but that it seems like everyone wants to resist the fourth.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Muenkel 0]

I just got summoned also. I postponed for a year due to my recent concussion.

I don't mind jury duty at all. It is very rare for a trial to last longer than a week. Most are only 1 day. I served on a trial. The trial lasted 45 minutes but the deliberations lasted all day and it ended up being a hung jury; 5 guilty on both charges, 1 not guilty. The reason the 1 guy would not convict is because he didn't want the defendent to have a record...I'm not kidding.

_________________________________________
Chris

[TheBachelor 5]

Re: "I'm a racist and hate everybody."

When I was in jury duty earlier this year, a guy got up and and said something similar (the defendant was black.) The judge got pissed, and told him to "wait outside." He then asked if any of the rest of us if we were going to "pull something like that." He went on to explain that he had heard them all (too many to go into here.)

Anyway, we later found out that the judge made the guy report to the jury room for the next week.

Oh, here in Los Angeles County, we have a "1-day or 1-trial" system. You are on call, and if you get called in, and don't get seated on a jury that first day, you're done (with some exceptions.) Due to that rule, it's almost impossible get get excused.

The case that they were picking a jury for was a murder case. I get paid by the hour, so I didn't want to be on that jury. I wore a "NRA Lifetime Member" jacket. The defense attorney excused me without asking me a single question.

There are battered women? I've been eating 'em plain all of these years...