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simplyputsi

This came up recently and I wonder

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I don't really think it's sustainable over the long-term to try to pretend you like something that you don't. I agree--go to a sushi place if your SO likes sushi, and then find something you can eat on the menu. I just don't see the point in pretending you like something you really don't like. Even if you pretend that it's something in common, it isn't really something in common. Eventually, pretending to be someone that you're not catches up with you. I think it's a lot easier if everyone just acts like themselves from the beginning.



I tried to tell him that was my opinion on the subject and he thinks that you sometimes have to change some things to make things work. I said I don't think I should have to change for a girl. She either likes me or not, and I'll just like her or not. You deal with the rest.
Skymama's #2 stalker -

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There's a line in there. No, you shouldn't pretend to like sushi to get a girl. It's dishonest. Anything that's a strong feeling or core, you have to be honest about.

But if she likes to dress up and go out sometimes and you don't really, well, maybe as a compromise you do it sometimes, and she doesn't as often as she'd like. The line between changing yourself and compromise is kind of fine, but it's definitely there. Don't tell her you love it, just compromise. After all, you're going to keep jumping, right?

Never compromising, or considering all compromise to be "change" means a much more limited set of options in life.

Wendy W.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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But if she likes to dress up and go out sometimes and you don't really, well, maybe as a compromise you do it sometimes, and she doesn't as often as she'd like. The line between changing yourself and compromise is kind of fine, but it's definitely there. Don't tell her you love it, just compromise. After all, you're going to keep jumping, right?
Wendy W.



I agree. I'm not opposed to compromising on things and think that sort of stuff is healthy and needed. I like the skydiving reference. I'm going to have to use that next time the change discussion comes up.
Skymama's #2 stalker -

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I said I don't think I should have to change for a girl. She either likes me or not, and I'll just like her or not. You deal with the rest.


Well yo got THAT part wrong:D:D:D
In every relationship, there will be accommodations and compromises made. But not usually on day one;):ph34r:
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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What the masses think. Here goes;

So the roommate has a new girlfriend. He is all I'm going to start doing this and stop doing that, yadda yadda. I never said why would you change who you are, but it's come to mind.
Like she is into going to church every week. He has not been in years, but now he thinks he'll go again. Ok, I get that. She is Christian, he is Catholic. I wonder if he is going to tell her that? So far he has not.

Anyway, they both said something to me that I almost lost it on. We were out eating, at a sushi place, which I don't eat sushi. They have other things, so I'll be fine. They more than once want me to try a roll of sushi and I politely say no thanks. Now it would be different if I've never tried it, but I have, and even tried it in front of said roommate and almost threw up that time. So they are like no this is really good you need to at least give it a try. I'm like trust me the ones I've tried were really good too I just don't like it, sorry.
I don't really care for fish, even though someone did get me to eat a whole filet of Alaskan Salmon.
Anyway back to the point.

After not trying the oh so good sushi, my roommate says what are you going to do if you meet some girl and she says her favorite food is sushi? I said umm tell her I don't like sushi duh. Both him and his new girlfriend say that is the wrong answer. I'm like how? He says that I need to go with it and if she likes sushi then I should like sushi. His girlfriend more or less agrees.

I go ok, so what I should do is lie, say oh I like sushi as well, take her to sushi and then throw up all over the table and say oh wait I don't like sushi actually? I mean WTF?? In my world I think a girl would rather hear oh that's great I've never cared for it myself, I actually don't like fish much, but I'd be more than happy to take you someplace and I'll just choose something that I like besides sushi. And a girl would be fine with that.

Maybe i'm just not open enough :S



REALLY! Come on, let them have thier opinion and you keep yours, i do agree with you, but this is like such a minor thing in the big scheme it doesn't matter what they think.
So i just broke up with this woman who wasn't even my girlfriend!

Hellfish #782, POPS #10664

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Here is your solution eat said wonderful sushi then throw up all over your roomate and his gf then walk out of resteraunt after drinking something to get the taste of vomit out of your mouth. Problem solved



Dammitt...beat me to it.
A little "I told you so" is sometimes good for the heart and soul.
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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