Friday Funny

[RemiAndKaren 0]

Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company.
During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees".
The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our cleaners has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner.
After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others:
"Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"
A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers,and Project Managers so no-one would notice anything,and you have to go and eat the cleaner!"
Remi
Muff 914

[flyhi 24]

PDB Obituary
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon.
The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was only 71. Dough boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Duncan Hines, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours, as long-time friend Betty Crocker delivered the eulogy, describing Dough boy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Dough boy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not onsidered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought that he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.
Dough boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
flyhi

[wmw999 2,174]

The Frog Trainer

Pam, a beautiful, well-endowed, young blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet...As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs.

The sign says: Oral Sex Frogs Only $20 each! Money-Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions).

Pam excitedly looks around to see if anybody’s watching her and whispers softly to Ralph, the man behind the counter “I’ll take one.”

Ralph, packaging up the frog, says, “Just follow the instructions carefully. Page me if there’s a problem.” He hands Pam his card.

Pam nods, ‘Okay,’ grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, Pam takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do...

First she takes a shower. Then she splashes on some nice smelling perfume. Then she slips into a very sexy nightie. Finally, as instructed, she crawls into bed, spreads her legs, and puts the frog down ‘there’.

Nothing happens!

Pam is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper. It says, “If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.” So, Pam calls...

Ralph, the man from behind the counter says, “I’m sorry about the problem. We had some complaints earlier this week and I think I know how to fix the problem. I’ll be right over.”

Within five minutes, Ralph is ringing her doorbell.

Pam welcomes him in and says, “See, I’ve done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there.”

Ralph, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says, “Listen to me! I’m only going to show you how to do this one more time!”

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[regulator 0]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2914883/Man-tries-suicide-by-cucumber.html

[JerryBaumchen 1,081]

Hi Wendy,

So what did that frog cost you?

JerryBaumchen