mfrese

Congratulations on the attitude change, and good luck on the tandems! Keep the attitude positive! Mike Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

We've used those so much, I hardly ever try aymore. Now we just ask them if they've ever seen "Airplane" and go from there... My favorite lately if I have a nervous male student is to lean forward right before I tighten the laterals and say "Hey, you're not homophobic, are you?". They usually say no, then I say "Good!" and crank down hard on both laterals at once... Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

Older women who are comfortable with themselves are generally the most fun, as they pretty much just feel it's no biggie and act accordingly. At the opposite end of the spectrum, my least favorites are the family who comes out, usually with Dad and daughter who just turned 18, and the two of them are skydiving. It's really fun having a guy about your age watching like a hawk while you're trying to harness up his daughter...

Oh yeah...I'm fat. bald, and 47 years old...that's one of the reasons this shit is such a mystery to me, I am totally surprised at people's reactions to skydiving for the first time. At least my wife thinks I'm cute... Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

It's not so much a sexual issue as it is worrying about whether or not something you HAVE to do as part of the job is misinterpreted, and having someone call a freakin' lawyer. Everyone should read Bill Booth's letter about underage tandem students to understand...basically, one thing he mentions is that taking underage girls on tandems will probably lead to a "show me on the dolly where the bad man touched you" lawsuit at some point, and I don't think that's all that far-fetched. I generally just don't make a big deal about it, and I've never had any problems. As for not being sexual...well, I've had the following happen in my 491 tandem jumps: - Two women who (by their own admission) had orgasms - Two women who basically rubbed against me, on purpose, during the entire canopy ride. - One gay man who, upon opening, reached behind me and grabbed onto the backs of my upper thighs right at my ass cheeks, and didn't let go until I told him he'd scrape his hands when we landed. - One woman who referred to me as her "strap-on" during the entire plane ride. - Two men who rubbed their butts against my crotch for most of the canopy ride. So, sexual intentions? I have no idea (and probably don't want to know). They say what happens in the air stays in the air for a reason...but for my part, I can only guarantee that I don't let that shit interfere with getting my student safely to the ground. Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

It's all good, Paul...Happy Birthday. Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

I'm a full-time H-town TM now, bru...seems there's some pussy South African who can't decide if he wants to come back to the states or not who's mucking up the works, so I'm helping them out for now. Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

Well, shit...my funny story is going to turn into a serious thread. Jennifer, that sucks. It's weird, it's totally inappropriate, and totally unprofessional. I spend a lot of time joking with people about this topic for the very reason that safety absolutely requires me to get as physically close to my student as possible. If you ever listen to one of my tandem briefings, I usually include a line like "and then we'll tighten the lateral straps, at which point you'll probably be thinking 'back up, buster, I don't know you well enough to get that close'". Most people laugh at that, and it seems to break the ice a little bit for a subject that's probably a little uncomfortable for some of them (and instructors, too). I can try to reassure them that there's not going to be any funny business, but it's still a touchy subject, and one that we struggle with all the time. Back when I had about 50 tandems and was still struggling with the protocol of how this all worked, I took a woman who was married, about 45, and had a great sense of humor. As I was trying to explain the whole "I'm gonna be too close for comfort" thing, she turned around and said "Don't worry...I understand you have a penis...but it better not be having any fun, OK?" I cracked up, agreed that it wouldn't, and we had a great skydive. So, you're never sure how people are going to react to the whole subject. The bottom line is, it's incumbent on tandem instructors to make sure that they treat people with respect and professionalism, and that's not what happened to you. I'm sorry it happened, and I would assume that any TMs with any self-respect would feel the same way. Frankly, I can't think of anything less sexy than taking someone on a tandem, because I have just too goddamn many things to think about...works way better as a mood killer than thinking about baseball . Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

(Apologies in advance to every Canadian posting on DZ.com...hoping I get the accent parts right!) So my first tandem student Sunday morning is a Canadian truck driver named Ian. He did a couple static line jumps back in the day, just happened to stop at the airport cafe for breakfast, sees the DZ office right next door, decides he wants to see what freefall feels like. Signs up for an 18K tandem, and we start getting him dressed for the jump. I get him harnessed up, give him the briefing, explain how he's going to be attached, etc. As we finish, one of my buddies decides he's got to give him a little more stress, so he says "Hey Mike, did you remember to take your Prozac today?" Not missing a beat, Ian comes back with: "Hey, I doon't care if he's takin' Prozac, I just hope he skipped the Viagra, eh?" It took me about 5 minutes to regain control after that one...and of course, he had a great time on the skydive, and left a happy (and uninvaded) man. Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

And be VERY careful not to do what I did yesterday...went to loosen the chest strap under canopy with a small, slender student. I had tucked the end of the chest strap under the main lift web adjustment strap, so it hung up when I went to loosen the strap. Went to pull back on the friction adapter, my fingers slipped off, and I smacked her right in the mouth! I spent the rest of the canopy ride apologizing, I felt so bad...fortunately, it wasn't really hard, and she was laughing about it on the ground, but I still felt like shit. Always gotta be careful... Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

That really is one of my favorite movies. Awesome cinematography, and the underwater scenes are simply incredible. Plus it's got Rosanna Arquette in a wet tank top... Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

When I interviewed for my current job, I was smart enough to list my skydiving stuff on my resume. Had five different interviews in one day, all of which were about 15 minutes of work and experience related discussion, and 30 minutes of skydiving talk. Haven't talked any of those guys into jumping yet, but I'm getting close on a couple. Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

Whatsamatta Crappie...manatee season end before you bagged your limit this year? Sheesh, STFU and buy a bike or something, maybe it'll make you feel better... Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

Cool thread! Here goes: 1. Alien 2. Secrets and Lies 3. Any of the first three Star Wars mvies 4. Any of the LOTR movies 5. Lilo and Stitch (I know, I know...don't know what it is, but love that damn movie...) Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

WHAT????!!!!! BTW, you guys getting ready to beat Pop to a pulp...just kick him in the left knee instead! That'll fix ya, you tequila-drinkin', crappy-skiin' former Texan! Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

I've got a better solution...I bought an OLD Talon from a friend who's a little down on his luck recently, with the intention of doing something interesting like a dummy drop to test the CYPRES firing altitude. Sounds like this would be more interesting, and much easier to prepare (not to mention with less potential to scare the shit out of people mistaking the dummy for a real jumper). Hoping it gets windy this weekend, and we will definitely get video. Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

Don't know you guys, but congratulations! Wishing you a very happy life together. Since there's no video, any pictures? Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

Roy, as is obvious from most of the other replies, she HAS to see a doctor. To give another example, my sister-in-law's sister-in-law (?!) started having minor seizures, accompanied by severe neck pain. She tried treating this by visiting a chiropractor and an acupuncturist, but it didn't help. When they finally went to the hospital after a major seizure, it turned out to be a brain tumor (sorry, no details on type or location). She is now recovering after brain surgery, and it appears she may be able to regain almost all of her movement and faculties after extensive rehab. I think most ofthe advice here is good: you don't really know the cause, so you'd better find out, and soon. Good luck and prayers to Lany. Mike Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

Can you say...SAKE BOMB!!! Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

I'm thinking about some piping hot Sho Chiku Bai sake with my sushi tonight. Maybe a large one. Maybe a couple large ones... Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

Hey, Bill Booth posts here all the time...and I've got Jess's number on my cell, I'll give him a buzz and we'll get this shit fixed right away. Seriously, you're right...and I asked Jess about this when I went through the Vector course a couple years ago. Basically, he was looking at it from the Skydive Monterey Bay perspective...lot of smart tandem masters, few solo jumpers, generally high winds (15-25) during most of the season. Getting dragged (or launched) was a bigger concern than a canopy collision at low altitude, in his opinion. It still ends up being the TMs call...I personally detach it at about 1500', particularly since I've ended up getting launched about 15 feet with a 160 pound guy landing in my lap. Didn't get dragged, but I was ready to chop that sucker if I moved another inch. I was certainly never concerned about the cost to repack the freakin' reserve, but I'm sure that enters into the mind of every DZO who discusses this with his staff... Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

Man, I've been trying to stay out of this, but I just have to say this: Ron, I think your argument is very valid. However, it needs to be taken up with at least RWS and Eclipse rather than AggieDave. I have Vector II and Eclipse ratings, and both the owner's manuals contain the following in the description of equipment in the "Harness and Container" section: B. Reserve Static-line Lanyard (RSL): RSL can be released prior to landing in the event of high ground winds. This sounds like a valid discussion topic for instructors on Safety Day, and it probably needs to be addressed to the manufacturers and examiners. Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

Sounds like you're getting bored...I'll start forwarding the BevMo ads so you can get DJ at a better price... By the way, how's the leg? Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

Well (and no tone present here either, I swear), for one thing, if it's windy enough to make you fly backwards, going into partial or deep brakes makes your canopy more susceptible to the turbulence that is present as well. Not to mention that if you're already moving backwards, speeding up that backwards movement is probably not a good idea unless you're really, really good, and really, really desperate. edited to add: in thelem's original post, they said that applying brakes would "slow down" the backwards movement...applying partial or deep brakes gives you a slower descent rate, and based on years-old experiences, will actually result in greater backwards movement relative to the ground. All in all, gotta agree with Kelly...that shit's scary. Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash

So, do you guys carry C.R.E.E.P.S. at The Drop Shop yet, or will I have to order one from Marcus? I'd really like them to add a feature that verbally warns you when you're in the corner rather than displaying it on the watch face...maybe it could have a French accent, too! Then it would be just like my home DZ... Edited to add: Sorry, only Skydivexxl will get the joke here... Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash