A libertarian walks into a bear

[billvon 2,405]

Just read "A liberatarian walks into a bear."  It's a fun read about how a bunch of libertarians decided to create a libertarian utopia in Grafton, NH with predictable results.

The bear problems came about because, as libertarians, they weren't going to listen to an Orwellian government tell them what they could and couldn't do with bears.  So some residents started feeding them, because (in their words) the poor bears were so skinny and weak.  They got grain and nuts at first, but eventually they started getting donuts as well.

One of the women feeding the bears started getting friendly with them.  She'd go out and see the bears there, who of course started crowding her to get them some donuts.  She'd yell "GET BACK! BACK UP!" and wave her arms at them.  And they'd oblige, because bears aren't dumb, and they knew if the backed off a bit they would be allowed to return a minute later to get all that food she was carrying.

Of course, those same bears would then show up at other people's homes and wait outside.  And when the people who lived there would go out and shout and wave their arms they'd back off and wait a minute or so, knowing they were about to get food.  Then when they returned - and this time there was no food - they'd get cranky.

There were several bear attacks after this.  After one particularly bad one the locals organized and decided to go out and kill all the bears.  They used dogs to sniff them out.  The adult bears tended to flee the dogs but the younger bears would hide in their dens, so that's what the hunters found and killed.  They killed something like a dozen bear cubs during one day.

Needless to say, this did not solve the bear problem, and the remaining bears were pretty pissed.

Of course the police couldn't do anything - libertarians had whittled down the police force until it was a few officers and one car, and they spent all their time being harassed by the locals who would go out of their way to call them jackbooted thugs for (for example) telling them not to have campfires on red-flag days*.

Likewise there was not much presence by the forestry service since they got the same sort of reception.  And the advice they did give (like "don't feed the bears you idiots!") was seen as massive government overreach, to be resisted as a matter of principle.

After a while people started moving out of Grafton because, as it turns out, not many people want to live in a place with bear attacks, no services and no jobs.

The book also makes an interesting comparison to Hanover, a nearby town with a single troublesome bear (named Mink by the town; it likely came from Grafton.) It was also a very libertarian-oriented town, but was a little closer to the center than the Graftonites. Hanover had a functioning government and police force, for example, so they decided to shoot the bear as a public nuisance.  There was enough opposition to this that they instead put a radio collar on her and used tracking software to warn people that the bear was close to to stay inside, take their trash inside and store barbeque grills inside.  Also keep their bird feeders bear-proof.  This worked to prevent any encounters.  This was enforced by $500 fine which people grumbled about but heeded.

Eventually the bear (and her cubs) were captured and relocated, and the problem was over.

It's easy to see this as a parable about "those dumb libertarians" but it should be made clear that ANY ideology taken to such an extreme would have similarly bad results.  Indeed, the example of Hanover shows that libertarians who allow a little socialism to creep in (say, police and wildlife services) have a much better time of things than purists do.

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* - Here a libertarian records a conversation with a cop, and then posts it to prove how unconstitutional and thuggish they were.  The issue started when the cop (Kenyon) asked them to put out their fire, which was on property that wasn't theirs, and was about five feet from a 100 year old shed.  It was a red-flag day and the fire risk was very high.  Kenyon asks them to put it out, and the libertarians (led by a man named Barskey) refuse, citing their natural rights.  Kenyon calls the fire department, then leans back on a car to wait for them.

This conversation then ensues:

Barskey: "So, Merle, Did you get permission to lean against this car?" 
Kenyon: "No, I didn't."
Barskey (leaning against the same car): "I did."
Kenyon: "Hey, that's nice." 
Barskey: "So, uh, you going to scratch it up with your gun or your utility belt or anything?" 
Kenyon: "I'm not planning on it. I'm really not planning on hassling anybody." 
Barskey: "So, can I go lean up against yours?"
Kenyon: "If you have to. Knock yerself out." 
Barskey: "No, not if I have to. Are you going to threaten or arrest me, or take me away to jail if I do?"
Kenyon: "I don't plan on it." 
Barskey (imitating the cop's voice) "You don't plan on it."  There was a short pause.  "Tell you what. How about if you don't lean against his car, please." 
Kenyon: "Whose car is it?" 
Barskey: "It's one of those people, who I asked for permission."
Kenyon: "Whatever you say,"
Barskey: "No, not whatever I say.  I asked you. I didn't say anything." 
Kenyon: "I mean, I wouldn't want to—" 
Barskey: "Scratch the car, which isn't yours!"

Remember, this was posted as proof that the jackbooted thugs were trampling their rights.

[wmw999 2,126]

One thing that Hanover has is a lot of college students (Dartmouth). Not enough to really be a problem like is the case of many State U cities (more students than residents). You need police with college students… Also plenty of strangers, because the Appalachian Trail comes through there  

Wendy P.