God bless Australia!!!

[skreamer 1]

Just got this in an email from an aussie mate :

Quote

WE, the people of the broad brown land of Oz, wish to be recognised as a
free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional wanker.
We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New
Zealand) and although we live in the best country in the world, we
reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like.
We are one nation but we're divided into many states.
First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in
lesbians.
Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte, grand final day
and big horse races.
Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief marketing pitch is that it's
"liveable".
At least that's what they think. The rest of us think it is too bloody
cold and wet.
Next, there's NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar, thin
books read quickly and millions of dancing queens. Its capital Sydney has
more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it.
Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers who pull their Speedos up their cracks
to keep the left and right sides of their brains separate.
Down south we have Tasmania, a State based on the notion that the family
that bonks together stays together.
In Tassie, everyone gets an extra chromosome at conception. Maps of the
State bring smiles to the sternest faces.
It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, which the Yanks
can't seem to beat no matter how often they try.
SA is the province of half decent reds, a festival of foreigners and
bizarre axe murders.
SA is the state of innovation - where else can you so effectively re-use
country bank vaults and barrels as in Snowtown, just out of Adelaide
(also named after a queen).
They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the Formula One drivers fell
asleep at the wheel.
WA is too far from anywhere to be relevant in this document. It's main
claim to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did all
the men would get erections on the bus on the way to work.
WA was the last state to stop importing convicts and many of them still
work there in the government and business.
NT is the red heart of our land.
Outback plains, sheep stations the size of Europe, kangaroos, jackaroos,
emus, Uluru and dusty kids with big smiles.
It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere on the planet.
Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national culture, few of
us live there and the rest prefer to fly over it on our way to Bali.
And there's Queensland.
While any mention of God seems silly in a document defining a nation of
half-arsed agnostics, it is worth noting that God probably made
Queensland.
Why he filled it with dickheads remains a mystery.
We are united in our lust for international recognition, so desperate for
praise we leap in joy when a ragtag gaggle of corrupt IOC officials tells
us Sydney is better than Beijing.
We want to make "no worries mate" our national phrase.
"She'll be right mate" our national attitude.
"Waltzing Matilda" our national anthem.
We love sport so much our newsreaders can read the death toll from a
sailing race and still tell us who's winning.
And we're the best in the world at all the sports that count, like
cricket, netball, rugby, hockey, tennis, AFL, roo-shooting, two-up and horse
racing.
We shoot, we root, we vote.
We are girt by sea and pissed by lunchtime.
Oh yes and there's Canberra. The least said the better.

"Look before you jump, don't die until you're dead"

[Scratch 0]

Ha ha Too true
Whenever I think of Aussies that old song comes to mind.
Sung to the tune of 'silent night'
Saterdag aand
Saterdag aand
Ma is dronk
Pa's in die tronk
Boetie en Sussie maak seks op die grond.
Ouma het Oupa se..........(I'll stop now. Afrikaans or not, HH will boot me
Every day above ground is a good day.

[skyhawk 2]

your all just jelous cause we rule o and add the fact we beat england AND south africa at pretty much everything Opinions are like a-holes everyone has one, the only one that does you any good is yours and all that comes out is shit