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dbattman

Patterson School fund-raiser review

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There I was in the car driving to go jump over the weekend. Was I headed to Chester where the tequila body shots and CASA big ways were waiting? No. I was headed to a small town in NC called Lenoir to a boarding school that was having a fund-raiser. There the Raeford Express would be waiting at the nearby airport to wisk me to altitude so I could float down into an unknown landing area across from an unknown place and an unknown number of spectators.

Four hours later I was sitting on the steps of the school, the only skydiver on the place. Oh boy, how far is it to Chester. I could be there in about two hours. Here comes some clouds and lightning. Hmm, not good. Stay or go? Stay or go?

So, to all you guys that didn't make the trip let me just say this:

:P:P:P:P:P:P:P
(sticks thumbs in ears and wiggles fingers)

Nya Nya Nya- YOU GUYS MISSED OUT BIG TIME!

In my short two years of jumping and 15 or so dropzones I have never, ever, ever, seen a group of people bend over backwards for skydivers like the people at Patterson. Did we put up 40 otter loads over the weekend with big-ways and tracking dives? No, not this year. Let me say that again- not THIS YEAR. When the kinks are worked out next year, this place will be rockin!

I slept in an actual bed in an actual room and showered in an actual tiled shower. I ate food that was prepared by some awesome cooks. Oh, excuse me- did I say cooks? I need to be spanked for insulting the culinary talent that manifested itself at the school. I meant to say 'CHEFS' as in New York City snippy maitre-de restaurant chefs. I ate scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, and grits THAT WERE EDIBLE WITHOUT ADDING ANYTHING!! BBQ ribs and fixins with desserts that would make an Atkins dieter weep. Oh my goodness, what a boost to my wingloading!

I hung out with the Knights in the evenings and watched videos. What an awesome group! The spectators were thrilled to see us there and a few kids ran up and wanted there picture taken with us. Even better was watching the local radio DJ puking in the bushes from the sensory overload. We rode horses on the local trails and the scenery there is absolutely breathtaking.

Next time, you guys have to check this place out. You can go to a dropzone and do the ordinary every day of the year, but you can only do the Patterson for one weekend.

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