Darius11 12 #1 November 7, 2003 I got up this morning really sad. I can’t stop dreaming of my Ex. I don’t know why we were together for 3 years and it was not the best 3 years of my life nor hers. I try not to think about her but I can’t control my dreams. I am sick of hearing my self talk about it. Sick Sick Sick. I don’t know what to think. I feel every thing is fake. How could you hold someone for 3 years every night and one day it’s goon. She hates you she has someone knew. I know I know I sound like a punk but I don’t even know why I am writing this, there is no point. God I feel like shit today. I think it’s me maybe there is something fundamentally wrong with my ass. I really don’t care about much I don’t give a fuck, oh trust me I wish I did I wished I cared I don’t. I am sad not because she is goon not because she has someone new. I feel betrayed. Betrayed. How could you be so close and then puff “Don’t call me I hate you I have someone new that I love”. I have no idea why I am saying every thing I feel to every one. I don’t even know any of you guys/girls, but I think I feel a kinship maybe I think there is only a cretin kind of people that will jump from perfectly good airplanes. I have reached a point that I want to be with no one. I have seen more loyalty from my Bike and guitar then my SO. I know we all have been there and that’s what I keep on telling my self. The thing that is most confusing is. Like that song. “I hate every thing about you why do I love you“. I wish I could control my dreams if I could I would be coming on a curve at 120 mph with a smile getting ready to lean and if I die I die. I think that’s why ever since I did my first tandem that’s all I think about. When I jump it’s not that the canopy will open that gives me the high, it’s that it might not and that is so beautiful that we are so small in this world and it could end in 33 sec. I feel like I am dancing with the grim ripper and I can’t find him but he is there and he will come for me when it is time. No I am not suicidal I love life I love the sun, rain, ocean, joy, and pain. But it is good to know how small we are and how petty are problems are. Wow writing this it seems I have solved my own problem I’ll post it anyway. Sorry for the mistakes and long post but I needed someone to talk to. And right now as odd as it may seem I don’t feel closer to any one else.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeffD 0 #2 November 7, 2003 Hey... Go jump out of an airplane. :-) Its not your fault. Some people in this world only jump from person to person, in the end they lose. Just relax and enjoy life, if you find someone else, good, if someone else finds you, good. Its hard but just look forward to waking up tommorow and have fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #3 November 7, 2003 I'm sending you some **HUGZ**, that usually makes me feel better Try & keep your mind occupied with other things. You'll eventually stop having those dreams & be able to live life to the fullest.~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #4 November 7, 2003 Thanks for the hugsI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #5 November 7, 2003 Any time!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #6 November 7, 2003 "Some people in this world only jump from person to person, in the end they lose." Jeff was dead on with this one. I had a SO that did the same thing to me. I was with her for three years, and she slept with three other guys in three weeks, then broke the news to me on our anniversary. Now she's married and miserable. I'm not happy that she's like this, but my point is, it's people like them that lose everything in the end. I can tell that you're a really good guy just from reading your other posts, and from this one, I can tell you really care. You have a good heart my friend, and it is that fact that says to me that she will spend the rest of her life regretting losing you. Just remember that life goes on, day by day, and there is someone out there for you. You just need to be patient, and live your life like you always have. Good luck to you pal. Endless vibes. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MyOwnWay 0 #7 November 7, 2003 keep in mind that each day you wake up is a gift. "you wake up in the morning and your purse is magically filled with 24 hours of unmanufactured tissue of the universe, of your life! it is yours. it is the most precious of possessions. no one can take it from you, and no one receives either more or less than you receive." keep your head up. ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))_________________________________________ all good things are wild and free - Henry David Thoreau Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
