KerMor 0 #1 December 18, 2003 Ivan ... Has it been posted before ? if yes sorry EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite! 9:40a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite! 11:30a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite! 1:00p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite! 4:00p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite! 5:00p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 5:30p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite! 6:00p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6:30a.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite! 8:30p.m. Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; I must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time... You can't determine the length of your life - but you can control its height and depth. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
n2skdvn 0 #2 December 18, 2003 QuoteIvan ... Has it been post before ? if yes sorry feel that heat on your back ......its a lightsaberif my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN my site Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KerMor 0 #3 December 18, 2003 QuoteQuoteIvan ... Has it been posted before ? if yes sorry feel that heat on your back ......its a lightsaber if I found it myself ... I hope it is less of a crime ... but it was over 1 year ago ... I was not even registered at that time I save you the search Sorry You can't determine the length of your life - but you can control its height and depth. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #4 December 18, 2003 Quoteif I found it myself ... I hope it is less of a crime ... but it was over 1 year ago ... I was not even registered at that time I save you the search Sorry Well done __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gremlin 0 #5 December 18, 2003 If the cat's diary suddenly stopped would we know who to blame? Or does it just affect kittens?I'm drunk, you're drunk, lets go back to mine.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
souleh 0 #6 December 18, 2003 * looks innocent * .. * runs * 'buttplugs? where?' - geno Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites