CrazyThomas 0 #1 January 24, 2004 What do you call a dog with no legs? NOTHING! It won't come anyways. Why don't black mothers let their children play in the sandbox? Because the cats keep trying to bury them. What's the difference between Mexicans and Cubans? Long distance swimming. Thomas Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jjiimmyyt 0 #2 January 25, 2004 OMG! Let it begin... "This isn't an iron lung, people. You can actually disconnect and not die." -Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #3 January 25, 2004 And the African-American awards goes to.........CRAZYTHOMAS!!!! __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyThomas 0 #4 January 25, 2004 How many gay guys does it tqake to change a light bulb? 4. 1 to change it, and 3 to stand around and say "OOOOOHHHHHH, That's FAAAABULOUS!" What have you done wrong if your wife is in the living room yelling at you? You made the leash to the stove to long. A Polish guy and a black guy run a race down a tunnel. Who finishes first? The Polish guy. The black guy has to stop and write "Motherfucker" on the wall. later, Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyThomas 0 #5 January 25, 2004 Why doesn't Jesus eat M&M's? They keep falling through the holes in his hands. What did Jesus say to Mary Magdalene up on the cross? Can you get my flats? These spikes are killing me. What's white, and streaks across the sky? The coming of the Lord. Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skipro101 0 #6 January 25, 2004 Why is the Afghan air force so easy to train? You only have to teach them how to take off! How do you know when you're in a gay church? Only half the congregation kneels to pray! -Robyn What do you call a gay guy in a wheelchair? Rolaids -Chris What just happened here? A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. "Throw out more!" shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. "More!" he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control. He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who's crying. They ask him why he's crying and he says "A pistol hit me on the head!" They drive more and meet another boy who's crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, "A rifle hit me on the head!" They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who's laughing hysterically. They ask him, "Kid, what's so funny?" The boy replies, "I sneezed your military base blew up!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydyvr 0 #7 January 25, 2004 How do you make love to a fat chick? Start shuffling through the rolls of fat. When you smell shit, back up one. Edit: spellin' . . =(_8^(1) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DYEVOUT 0 #8 January 25, 2004 What does A Spaniard and a cue ball have in common? The harder you hit 'em - the more English you get. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ian84 0 #9 January 25, 2004 1. An English MP was addressing a crowd in Belfast. He stated to the masses "I was born an Englishman, I've lived an Englishman, and by God I shall die an Englishman!" Then, from the back of the crowd, a voice yelled "Shite man, have ye no ambition?" 2. An Irish man is sittin in a pub one night when 3 Englishmen walked in. The men sit down, and start to talk about how they can anger the Irishman... The first man says, "Watch this..." He gets up, walks over to the Irishman, and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot." The Irishman just replies, "Oh, is that so now?" The Englishman, goes back to his seat perplexed, when his friend jumps up and says, "Here, lemme try that." So he goes over to the Irishman and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite faggot!" The Irishman only replies, "Oh, is that so now?" So the Englishman, frustrated goes and sits down with his friends. When the 3rd Englishman jumps up and says, "Well, now, I gotta try that!" So he walks over to the Irishman and says, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was an ENGLISHMAN!" And the Irishman replies, "Aye, that's what your friends were sayin." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skipro101 0 #10 January 25, 2004 how come cows have bells? because their horns don't work! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
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