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bodypilot90

Weapons of maths instruction- to Bill Von

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At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual was arrested when he tried to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, US Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction.


"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "The cult, whose leader is believed to be a cosine of Osama Bin Laden, is split into several divisions and they are prepared to use a wide variety of means to achieve solutions.


“The members sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.

“In addition, they use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we are positive that they belong to a rather odd common denominator known as the 'Axis of Even,' with coordinates in many countries.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle," Ashcroft continued.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said: "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from those who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, and factoring in all the variables, we must stand united and draw the line, cos divided we fall."

President Bush warned: "These weapons of maths instruction have the potential to decimal our society on a scalene never before seen, unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and rid the world of this entirely negative organisation."

Attorney General Ashcroft concluded: "As our Great Leader would say, ‘read my ellipse.’ Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, we are circling in ever closer, and their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."




a little humor :P

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