DrunkMonkey 0 #1 June 29, 2004 I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much, and I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have also never figured out why men think with their heads and women with their hearts. For Example: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says these words that every husband on the planet would hate to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I rolled over and went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was half a bubble off plumb. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
catfishhunter 1 #2 June 29, 2004 ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! I got to copy and print that one out My Stomach hurts! MAKE EVERY DAY COUNT Life is Short and we never know how long we are going to have. We must live life to the fullest EVERY DAY. Everything we do should have a greater purpose. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cajundude 0 #3 June 29, 2004 QuoteWell, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." Quote Um, NO! You better just put that ass in the air and hold on to the fuckin' headboard! Quote"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."Quote Um, NO! You do just fine when you put it up there. Quote Quote"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Quote Um, NO! Now put on the school girl outfit and shutup! QuoteRealizing that nothing was going to happen that night I rolled over and went to sleep. Quote Ouch! QuoteI could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." ... You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Monkey you rock! LOL! That is some funny stuff you put down! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Darius11 12 #4 June 29, 2004 LOL That was a good oneI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkiD_PL8 0 #5 June 29, 2004 I will have to remember that if I ever have time for a serious girlfriend again between working all the time to pay for skydiving and the time I am skydiving. Greenie in training. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0 Go To Topic Listing × Sign In Sign Up Forums Dropzones Classifieds Gear Indoor Articles Photos Videos Calendar Stolen Fatalities Leaderboard Activity Back Activity All Activity My Activity Streams Unread Content Content I Started
Darius11 12 #4 June 29, 2004 LOL That was a good oneI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkiD_PL8 0 #5 June 29, 2004 I will have to remember that if I ever have time for a serious girlfriend again between working all the time to pay for skydiving and the time I am skydiving. Greenie in training. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
