douglas15377 0 #1 July 2, 2006 In case you haven't received them yet, Here are this year's 2006 Darwin Awards In the annual honor given to the person who improved the "gene pool" the most by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has Been keen. And the candidates this year are............. * IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. * A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run. * Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. * Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. * Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. HONORABLE MENTION: * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed. RUNNER UP: * TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located. AND THE WINNER: * Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. " The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves that "S--t happens! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
propilot 0 #2 July 2, 2006 All good reasons to skydive Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
itllclear 1 #3 July 2, 2006 http://www.snopes.com/critters/malice/feces.htm"Harry, why did you land all the way out there? Nobody else landed out there." "Your statement answered your question." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenneth21441 0 #4 July 2, 2006 Lets not forget those who strap bombs to there body and let it blow. Just too bad that they took out some good people as well....Kenneth Potter FAA Senior Parachute Rigger Tactical Delivery Instructor (Jeddah, KSA) FFL Gunsmith Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NlghtJumper 0 #5 July 3, 2006 Yeah but they did it on purpose! These people at least didnt mean to die... A man will do anything for the right woman, and when that woman destroys him, that man will become a hunk of meat with the common sense of a rodeo clown! ~ Christopher Titus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Johnsisland 0 #6 July 3, 2006 How can Darwin present the 2006 awards even before 2006 is over???? Check out http://darwinawards.com/ The real thing... JArch? I can arch just fine with my back to the ground. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryanocerous 0 #7 July 3, 2006 Quote* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. So the moral of this story is wear a headlamp while burglarizing bicycle shops from the cieling. Mebbe this topic belongs in the Safety and Training Forum. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJL 232 #8 July 3, 2006 QuoteHow can Darwin present the 2006 awards even before 2006 is over???? Those are all OLD."I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bert_man 0 #9 July 3, 2006 The biggest thing that snopes fails to mention is that at the time of that photo, do you think the elephant would still be squatting over his dung pile? -Ghetto "The reason death cannot frighten me, is because life has cured me of fear." Web Design Cleveland Skydiving Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NlghtJumper 0 #10 July 3, 2006 QuoteThe biggest thing that snopes fails to mention is that at the time of that photo, do you think the elephant would still be squatting over his dung pile? Don't blame the elephant! He was scared wondering what the fuck happened to the stupid human that was wandering around a little while ago! A man will do anything for the right woman, and when that woman destroys him, that man will become a hunk of meat with the common sense of a rodeo clown! ~ Christopher Titus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
