simplyputsi 0 #1 December 14, 2006 This is probably mostly for the ladies. I jumped to conclusions and made a mistake. Basically this girl I know was out of contact with me for a few days and when she finally did contact me she said I would be mad. So I jumped to conclusions given the history between us. I gave it a few days before responding and now I feel horrible. I didn't say anyting bad, just that I thought she was playing games and I didn't have time for it. Well basically she was almost raped. I already responded and told her how much I am sorry. I don't know what to do. She isn't here so I can't go see her. If I called I wouldn't know what to say. I want to kill the motherfucker that touched her but what would that solve.Skymama's #2 stalker - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #2 December 14, 2006 I think you should have this deleted because if you start dating her she may be exposed to dz.com and I doubt she wants that online. Next call Tanya, or me , or one of your other female friends and talk to them versus having it online. Good luck sweetySudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenz 0 #3 December 14, 2006 well you cant change what happened, but you can offer to be there for her... if you can't be there for her in a physical sense to give her a hug - let her know you'll give her a shoulder to lean on.. believe me that will go just as far"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #4 December 14, 2006 actually, listen to LM. ....did i just say that? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #5 December 14, 2006 Be there as someone for her to listen to. Tell her to call any time. If she hasn't already, encourage her to contact a rape crisis line or crisis center for support and advice. They will be able to provide things you can't."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #6 December 14, 2006 Quoteactually, listen to LM. ....did i just say that? Sorry, Brandon...I had to quote that for posterity. As has already been said...have her contact a rape crisis center, let her know you're there to listen - without passing judgment, and take LM up on her offer of a call.Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simplyputsi 0 #7 December 14, 2006 I did say many nice things to her, how sorry I was, how much I was glad she was ok, in the sense she was not dead. She knows she can call me anytime, it's a standing promise I have with her. Of course my being stupid will make her not want to talk with me. I think her identity is safe so I'm not worried about posting it on here or I wouldn't have. I think I will mention the crisis center. She needs help that I can't give her.Skymama's #2 stalker - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenz 0 #8 December 14, 2006 definitely crisis center is a good call - and if she actually was raped please please PLEASE tell her to go to a hospital and get checked.. that is something that is so difficult for women to do, but it is SO important... and even though you have an unspoken promise - it cant hurt to remind her that you're there for her..."life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #9 December 14, 2006 QuoteSorry, Brandon...I had to quote that for posterity. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peregrinerose 0 #10 December 14, 2006 I agree with the others... rape crisis center, or RAINN or SOAR or other national group. If at all possible, find a way to get to her... at a time like this, real contact with a real person that cares makes all the difference. Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #11 December 14, 2006 Quoteactually, listen to LM. ....did i just say that? *pats self on back* Oh and her idenity isnt safe, you start dating, eventually you bring her to the farm, which asshole will be the first to loudly ask "is that the girl who was raped?" seriously dude think about it , if theres a future with you two , you just told all your friends ( who most of us have no filter between our brain and our mouth) that she was almost raped. I say delete this.Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simplyputsi 0 #12 December 14, 2006 we won't be dating. I doubt I'd ever get her out to the farm or any dropzone. I see your point, but it's just not likely to happen. i think the best thing, and I would never have thought of it, is to get her to go to a crisis center or something like it. I so wish i could be physically there though.Skymama's #2 stalker - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #13 December 14, 2006 Quotei think the best thing, and I would never have thought of it, is to get her to go to a crisis center or something like it. Some girls wouldnt want that. Yes in your mind your wanting this guy to be hurt or killed, but in her mind she may well I wont get into this because its a long explanation and google can help ya more then I could. Just to let you know MOST women who are assaulted would not want to talk about it with strangers or want to be exposed to a rape kit. Think about her modesty which now is probably high on her list. QuoteI so wish i could be physically there though. Then do it. Good luck, still think this is not a good place for it.Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simplyputsi 0 #14 December 14, 2006 Well i think I got enough advice to put me on the right track. I won't delete it, but I guess just let it die since I'm off to bed. ThanksSkymama's #2 stalker - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #15 December 14, 2006 Crisis center does not automatically equal rape kit."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #16 December 14, 2006 Thats why I said or. One of the rules thats I just pulled up from 7 different websites on information on how to help a friend who has been raped. Quote PROTECT HER RIGHT TO CONFIDENTIALITY It is the survivor's choice to disclose. Respect this right by not telling others about the rape unless the survivor gives you express permission to do so.Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites