Jokes

[bigway 4]

What do you get if you play your country records backwards?



















Your house, your car, your dog....

.Karnage Krew Gear Store
.

[BRYANGOESBOOM 0]

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money so she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. “Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange postcard today.” “Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he said. The wife did and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted.

On the card it was written:…………..

..”Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.”

Not only will you look better, feel better, and fuck better; you'll have significantly increased your life expectancy. --Douva

[lilDevil 2]

On the card it was written:…………..

..”Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.”

[beufus 0]

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher,
whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor
struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic
got around to former Texas Governor George W. Bush and his
elevation to the White House. The old Texan said, "Well, ya know,
Bush is a 'post turtle'." Not being familiar with the term, the doctor
asked him what a 'post turtle' was. The old rancher said, "When
you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence
post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle." The old
man saw a puzzled look on the doctors face, so he continued to
explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't
belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there,
and you just want to help the dumb thing get down.

Smoking is a combination test for intelligence and resistance to marketing/peer pressure. All smokers have failed at least one of these.

[CastAwayII 0]

a drunk man almost pulls himself up to the bar, but, legs wobbling falls flat on his back, "aww... maybe I just need some fresh air" ..so he crawls out the door tries again to stand up, but this time he slams face first into the mud. "aww man, I guess I better just call it a night"...and so he crawls home...the next morning his wife finds him passed out at the doorstep, and rhetorically asks "You went out drinking last night didnt you?!" Yeah, he sheepishly replies, I did....how'd you know? "You left your wheelchair at the bar again!"

[spiccoli 0]

the NAACP

we need to talk about your flare..

[Armour666 0]

What do a Tornado and a southern divorce have in common?












In either case some one is losing a trailer

SO this one time at band camp.....

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most."