npgraphicdesign 2 #1 September 18, 2008 ...I would've taken all my tests at a restaurant, because the customer is always right! Love Mitch Hedberg...rip to a great comedian. Anyone else a fan? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
auburnguy 0 #2 September 18, 2008 "My lucky number is four billion, that doesn't come real handy when your gambling. come on 4 billion.. fuck, seven. not even close. I need some more dice. ""If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way." - Homer Simpson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aresye 0 #3 September 18, 2008 They all decided on Double Tree, and I was like, "Damn! I had my heart set on Quadruple Tree. We were almost there!"Skydiving: You either learn from other's mistakes, or they'll learn from yours. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slowfaller 0 #4 September 18, 2008 I saw a commercial and it told me to forget everything I knew about slipcovers so I did. It was a load off my mind but then the commercial tried to sell me a slipcover and I had no idea what they were talking about. I went camping and needed firewood so I was looking for the duraflame tree. Anyone watch ESPN Classic? I was watching a baseball game on that and the batter hit a foul ball. Fucking classic man! --"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 2 #5 September 18, 2008 Hahaha...that ESPN line is great. I never heard it before. "I saw a seagull sitting by a lake, and I said 'don't worry dude, I won't say shit!'" "I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slowfaller 0 #6 September 18, 2008 The ESPN line, as well as the other two, are off his album that came out on 9/9/08 called, "Do you believe in Gosh?". It has a lot of previously unheard Mitch jokes. Worth the money IMO. "They gave me a door deal here, tonight I'm working for half the door, tomorrow night I'm working for half the door and then I will have a door. I think I'll ask for a screen door because it's like open but not for mosquitos" --"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #7 September 18, 2008 Thanks for the head's up-I'll have to get that one.You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 2 #8 September 18, 2008 Quote The ESPN line, as well as the other two, are off his album that came out on 9/9/08 called, "Do you believe in Gosh?". It has a lot of previously unheard Mitch jokes. Worth the money IMO. "They gave me a door deal here, tonight I'm working for half the door, tomorrow night I'm working for half the door and then I will have a door. I think I'll ask for a screen door because it's like open but not for mosquitos" What?? I had no idea he had another one!!! Thank you for the heads-up! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #9 September 18, 2008 Quote "I saw a seagull sitting by a lake, and I said 'don't worry dude, I won't say shit!'" love itI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 2 #10 September 18, 2008 Quote Quote "I saw a seagull sitting by a lake, and I said 'don't worry dude, I won't say shit!'" love it Yea that one is great...but a lot of people don't get it...Goldmines!! http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mitch_hedberg.html http://www.funny2.com/hedberg.htm Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skittles_of_SDC 0 #11 September 18, 2008 "Alot of times I drive like for 10 miles with the emergency brake on. that doesn't say alot for me, but that doesnt say alot for the emergency brake." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
