LisaH 0 #1 December 7, 2008 I'm attending a Jewish funeral tomorrow for a very dear friend and I don't know the protocol. Yes, there are many websites but they are confusing. What do I wear? Where do I stand/sit? The family is in mourning and are not receiving phone calls. Can anyone help? Thanks! Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 3 #2 December 7, 2008 Traditional Jewish funerals are very simple and usually relatively brief. Before they begin, the immediate relatives of the deceased – siblings, parents, children, spouse – tear their garments to symbolize their loss. Sometimes the rabbi will tear their garments for them and recite a blessing, "Baruch atah Hashem Elokeinu melech haolam, dayan ha'emet," Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, the true Judge. A shorter version of the same blessing is recited by all who witness or hear about a death: "Baruch dayan emet," Blessed is the one true Judge. Reform Jews often do not follow these practices. Instead, the rabbi tears black ribbons and hands family members a torn black ribbon to pin on their clothes to symbolize their loss. During the ceremony that follows, Psalms are recited, then a eulogy and the memorial prayer ("El Maleh Rachamim"). The casket is then carried or wheeled out of the room (accompanied by the 23rd Psalm in many Reform funerals) by the male members of a Chevra Kaddisha (or male family members in Reform funerals), regardless of the gender of the deceased, and the mourners follow behind the casket. Those attending remain standing until the family mourners have left the room. In Reform funerals, people then often express their condolences to the family members of the deceased before the actual burial. In traditional funerals, people attending the funeral but not the burial may escort the dead, fulfilling the mitzvah of leveyat hamet by walking behind the hearse for a short distance. A Jew who is a Cohen, a descendant of the priestly class, will only attend the funeral and burial of his immediate family as he is otherwise forbidden to come near a corpse. You may see a close friend or relative who is a Cohen remain outside the funeral parlor or cemetery because of this law. At the cemetery, another custom in traditional funerals is to stop seven times – as the coffin is carried to the grave--to recite Psalm 91. Once the coffin is lowered into the grave, family and close friends cover the coffin with a few handfuls of dirt. The rabbi then repeats Psalm 91 and El Maleh Rachamim. Following the burial, non-family members form two lines and, as the mourners pass by them, they recite the traditional condolence: "Hamakom y'nachem etchem b'toch sh'ar availai tziyon ee yerushalayim." May God comfort you among all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. In traditional funerals, before leaving the cemetery mourners wash their hands as a symbolic cleansing. After the burial, it is customary for the family to sit Shiva (in mourning). This was traditionally done for seven days, although many Reform and other Jews now sit Shiva for three days, and some for one day. Traditional Jews cover all mirrors during this time and sit on Shiva benches, however less observant Jews do not. It is customary for friends and family of the deceased as well as friends of the deceased's relatives to pay a Shiva call to the designated location where people are sitting Shiva, usually at the home of a close family member. Jews do not send flowers, but when paying a Shiva call it is appropriate to bring food, because the person mourning is not supposed to worry about such mundane matters. Being surrounded by family and close friends often helps mourners cope with the immediate loss. Often, family members find great solace from sharing memories of the deceased during the Shiva period. Indeed, many mourners report that sitting Shiva was a time of family closeness, when small disagreements were overlooked in the face of the eternal.CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chiquita24 0 #3 December 7, 2008 I don't know too much, but the company that my dad works for is Jewish and he went to a funeral last year. Most likely at least some of the sermon will be in Hebrew-I guess depending on whether or not they are Orthadox Jew. The family will most likely be wearing black and men will be wearing the little Jewish cap-I'm not sure the technical name. Women may also have their heads covered. So for dress, as with any funeral, I don't think you can go wrong with black, but really I don't think it is huge deal. I don't know where exactly you are to stand/sit, but I think it will all come into place once you are there. Many people, close friends and family of the deceased will speak at the funeral. And once you are at the cemetary, friends and family will each have a chance to shovel dirt onto the casket. I hope this helps at least a little bit. Sorry for your loss. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gonzalesna 0 #4 December 7, 2008 Quote I'm attending a Jewish funeral tomorrow for a very dear friend and I don't know the protocol. Yes, there are many websites but they are confusing. What do I wear? Where do I stand/sit? The family is in mourning and are not receiving phone calls. Can anyone help? Thanks! Well, I don't know, but I could tell you what NOT to wear...Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 3 #5 December 7, 2008 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2sJH4YYxZc http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_to_do_at_a_jewish_funeral_for_a_non-jewCLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 3 #6 December 7, 2008 Are you trying to say that this traditional Nazi war uniform would not be a good thing to wear? what.. I have 1/4 rights o joking, I've got Jew in my blood CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gonzalesna 0 #7 December 7, 2008 Quote Are you trying to say that this traditional Nazi war uniform would not be a good thing to wear? what.. I have 1/4 rights o joking, I've got a Jew in my blood How'd he get in there?Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #8 December 7, 2008 Thank you so much Shermie! MUAH Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 3 #9 December 7, 2008 Quote Quote Are you trying to say that this traditional Nazi war uniform would not be a good thing to wear? what.. I have 1/4 rights o joking, I've got a Jew in my blood How'd he get in there? CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 3 #10 December 7, 2008 5. The Funeral 5.1 Services - Funeral services may be held in the synagogue, in a funeral home, or at the gravesite. The funeral service is usually brief and simple. It usually includes the chanting of psalms and Eyl Malei Rahamim (the traditional memorial prayer), and a hesped (eulogy) honoring the deceased. Often the psalms and Eyl Malei Rahamim are chanted by the Cantor. 5.2 Viewing - Viewing the body either publicly or privately is contrary to Jewish tradition. 5.3 Pall and pallbearers - At a funeral, the casket may be covered with a specially prepared cloth, called a pall, and is borne from the funeral service to the gravesite by family or friends (pallbearers) selected by the mourners. 5.4 Fraternal ceremonies - Fraternal ceremonies which interfere with the solemnity of the Jewish funeral service are not appropriate. 5.5 Carrying the casket - The pallbearers customarily stop seven times while carrying the casket to the grave. The mourners, family and friends follow the casket as a mark of respect. 5.6 K'vurah - Burial - In traditional practice, the casket is lowered into the earth and the grave filled, using a reversed shovel until a mound is formed over the casket. The Kaddish is recited at the grave after k'vurah is completed. There are different customs or variations and the Rabbi should be consulted. 5.7 Leaving the cemetery - It is customary for the mourners to pass between two rows of people in attendance to receive traditional expressions of consolation. After burial, washing one’s hands when leaving the cemetery or before entering the house of mourning is also traditional. 5.8 Non-Jewish spouse buried in a Jewish cemetery - As a rule, non-Jews may not be buried in a Jewish cemetery. The Committee on Jewish Law and Standards has considered several exceptions to this rule. The Rabbi should be consulted on this matter.CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gonzalesna 0 #11 December 7, 2008 Quotehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2sJH4YYxZc http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_to_do_at_a_jewish_funeral_for_a_non-jew He looks like he's half asleep in that videoSome people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #12 December 7, 2008 It's going to be so strange not having him around. I will miss him very much. Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
