The "letter" or explain to your family

[BASE813 0]

I am just curious about whether new jumpers are making "the letter" or any explaination to your families at what you are doing when you enter BASE. I went through alot of problems when starting my journey into BASE that I almost stopped it, it made me think alot about what I was doing, and I lost alot in deciding to continue. So with the (supposed) easy journey most people make nowadays in getting into BASE I just wonder if people think about what it means really......................... Taken from a post I made on BLiNC:

http://www.blincmagazine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22302

Quote

Not sure if it’s the same thing, but when I first got into BASE I wrote a letter to my family and friends should I get killed on a BASE jump. I have sent this to several friends who are keeping a hard copy and will release it should I go in. In this letter I explain my reasons for BASE jumping, I explain to them not to focus any blame on the community or the people with me, I point them to places where they may find more technical explanations of the incident, I explain what I want at my funeral, and have a few personal messages and explanations that hopefully will make my death easier to handle (although this is something hard to actually do I guess). I have been told this is a morbid thing to do, but for my family and friends I feel I need to do this - I don’t want to have any of my family showing any negativity towards any of my friends or towards the sport that I love and do. The reason I wrote this letter is due to the family / friends fall out I had at the start of my BASE journey, my mother refused to speak to me about it and was upset, my aunt refused to talk to me for about a year because of it and even a few skydiver friends showed negativity toward me because of it. I broke up with my long term GF because of it, my employers took me into meetings and questioned my new found activity and generally I had a rough time, so much so I even questioned whether it was all worth it.

One of the things I found necessary, was to sit down with people close to you and explaining your new found love. I sat down with my Aunt and showed her some video of some jumps from a nice day time large A with a “X” in Belgium and explained to her the way we make jumps, she then changed her opinion as she saw that we were not the “yeeeehaaa Pepsi max Xtreme risk takers” she had thought of in the sport, I sat with my mother and spoke at lengths at what I get from the sport and from the videos I showed she also saw that we were sensible and this changed her opinion of the sport and realised that this is now something I need to do. I did this with most members of my close family, and think that doing this has ensured they will not be negative toward my friends and sport should the Black Death aspect come and bite me. So much so infact, that even getting injured and having problems in getting through recovery my close family have not once questioned me in whether I am going back to jumping, or when I speak to them about the jumps I want to do on my return back to the sport they not once question why………….. Without the explanations at the start I would have had a harder time of it I am sure.

I am curious as to whether the “letter” and explanations are something other people have done when entering BASE? – I think that if this is what Tom is talking about on his course then I think it very necessary, but that’s just because it works for me.

[TomAiello 25]

Here is a short piece I wrote on this topic a while ago.

-- Tom Aiello

[email protected]
SnakeRiverBASE.com

[Faber 0]

Actualy at this point i dont have a letter to my family or loved once(inkluding close freinds).

WHY? i found out that i could change that letter each day as i would never be satisfyed about it...
However i do have the pleassure to have a family that agrees that if BASE makes me happy i should do it,They also knows my feelings for this sport and that i dont want them to blame the sport,myfreinds or gearmanufactor in the case of my death.
I know my dad often reads dz.com(only BASE) and Looks at Blinc aswell,he once said that he´s supriced about the brotherhood we have and that he can understand why i never want my 2. family no harm.
My family also knows my whishes in the case of my death,what i want them to do whith my ashes.

I talk to my parents about this each time i visits them,the day i stop that i will write the letter again.

But for thouse that dont have such a great relationship(in a BASE way)i can only agree that a letter should be written.

Nothing should be to misunderstood in the case of a fatality

Stay safe
Stefan Faber

[DexterBase 0]

I have a letter for exactly this purpose. In addition to the letter I have instructions on exactly how I want the letter distributed in the event of my death.

I'm teaching someone about BASE now and I made him sit down and write his own letter. I think it helps you sit in someone elses shoes for a minute and realize how serious this game really is. I get sad when I read my letter, trying to imagine my family and friends reading it.

I think if you die BASE jumping, there are going to be discussions within your circle of family and friends about why you were doing it. If there's anything you don't want left unsaid, a BASE letter might be appropriate.

[Faber 0]

Quote

I get sad when I read my letter, trying to imagine my family and friends reading it.

so did i as i cant experss all what i want to say in a letter...

Quote

I think if you die BASE jumping, there are going to be discussions within your circle of family and friends about why you were doing it. If there's anything you don't want left unsaid, a BASE letter might be appropriate.

I do agree,atleast where there can be a doubt.... In my case i know that My family will contact thouse who are close to me.They know that MY DEMAND is that if i die is that My family should be informed by facts before others(like the net),i also hope that IF i die people will find the erro i made and hopefuly it wont be continuet.
I hope that freinds i have jumped whith,will make a video to my family,so they in the hard time can again see why i did this,they can see that this is how i live and enjoy my life,and to this date i can only have smile on my face as i look back.I hope people will feed atleast my kids by good memories from the dad that loves them so much.

My family has asked me about stuff when people has died(as atlaest my dad is reading atleast Blinc).He is impressed that we so hard tryes to learn from mistakes.

I must add that my family is as others concerned about me jumping,but as both my mom and dad once said "we will never ask you to stop doing what you enjoy so much"

I hope the day will never come were i realice that i might only have a few secs to live in.... that al this only has to be said just incase...

Perhaps i might write that letter again,justy to remind people on how happy i am as i live...

Stay safe
Stefan Faber

[AJEvans 0]

Quote

Actualy at this point i dont have a letter to my family or loved once(inkluding close freinds).

WHY? i found out that i could change that letter each day as i would never be satisfyed about it...
***

Even though I agree with that sentiment, as I have felt it myself...That letter is what got my attention when I decided to get into B.A.S.E. That re-enforced by Tom's statement of "If you are not ready to die BASE jumping, you are not ready to BASE jump."

My letter is just what needs to be said so that nothing goes unsaid...Answers for those who don't understand and comfort for those who do.

[Faber 0]

Quote

you are not ready to die BASE jumping, you are not ready to BASE jump.

if you aint ready to die what ever you do in stuff you do each day you shouldnt do so

Quote

My letter is just what needs to be said so that nothing goes unsaid...Answers for those who don't understand and comfort for those who do.

problem is that i cant describe thouse things aswell in a letter as i can say it.. how ever i do agree that a letter is the best way,and wont say i dont write one again some day...

Stay safe
Stefan Faber

[base736 0]

I guess "The Letter" has always fallen, for me, into the category of things that I think are played up with more value than they've actually got. Also on the list is, e.g., carnage video.

I like to think I'm completely realistic about what the possible outcome of a BASE jump is. I've seen fatalities and serious injuries in skydiving, and I've flown a malfunction to the ground in BASE (and, as it turns out, broke my back doing it). But at the exit point, all of that seems irrelevant. Most of the time. If the letter is intended as a personal exploration, then I suppose it has value in that.

However... I don't believe there are "good" and "bad" ways to die, though there are certainly good and bad ways to live. Does my family know I live well? I think so. But if they don't, would it be more appropriate to correct that post-mortem with a letter, or while I'm still around to let them know personally? The value of "The Letter" to family is, I think, questionable at best.

[TomAiello 25]

Quote

The value of "The Letter" to family is, I think, questionable at best.

The value of the the letter to other jumpers, in a court of law, can not be overstated. You might have a slightly different perspective, but a lawsuit filed by family can be mostly defused by such a letter. And in at least one case in the US, and another in Europe, such a lawsuit has been a major problem for continuing site access.

-- Tom Aiello

[email protected]
SnakeRiverBASE.com