misskriss

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Posts posted by misskriss

  2. After spending probably an hour and a half shopping with two of my teenaged daughters and spending close to $400 in Abercrombie and Fitch the alarm went off as we walked out of the store. The sales associate asked us to come back in while he went through all of our bags and compared them to the receipt. He then apologized for the hold up and sent us on our way. I wanted to return every single item I was so furious but didn't want to have to shop again for the girls. If you've ever been school shopping with teenaged girls you will know it can be equivilent to torture. He had seen us in there and commented on what a patient mother I was. When I think back I wish I would have said something or refused to let him check the bags. It wasn't my fault that they didn't take the sensor off but I was made to look like a thief.:|

  11. Quote

    Quote

    since i'm not holding anything back tonight... God help me.......

    definitely swallow......



    Double Swoon... ;)



    OMG! This was from 2002!!:o:ph34r: I still feel the same way though.:)

  12. Quote

    What are YOUR reasons?



    Emotional closeness/intimacy, physical release, procreation. And the sex is different depending on which need is being met.

    If it's a physical release (we're just horny) it can be fast and furious-sometimes slow and furious and depending on the mood, possibly kinky. Usually screams of " harder, harder!"

    If it's closeness we crave (we're in love and want to be as close as two people can get) it's soft and slow and tender and staring into each others eyes with whispers of "I love you."

    There's also the occasional quicky or a combo of the aforementioned physical release/closeness. Mentionings of "God, I love you , oh baby, don't stop."

    If it's procreation... I can't put it into words. It's magical.

    Marriage is great.:)

  13. My husband fell in love with me when I was separated and a stay at home mom of three.

    Maybe it was the wild monkey sex that got him...:ph34r::)

  15. Quote

    Personally, I'm cut. I resent the fact that my mother chose to chop off part of my genitals rather than let me decide for myself. In the event I ever have a son, I will not intentionally, arbitrarily, and permanently disfigure him. Any girl who would distance herself from him on the basis of his being whole is not a girl I'd want him to spend much time with anyhow.



    Good for you. I had never seen an uncirc'd one until I met my husband and in no way was I "freaked out" or thought it strange. Quite to the contrary actually.:) And I've never seen it "unclean" either. Women have more folds, caverns, etc. than an uncircumcised penis but no one is saying how women are not as clean because we have more nooks and crannies to keep fresh.;) We chose not to circ our son as well. His pediatrician told us that circumcision is way overrated and many people just blindly do it because that's how it's always been done. My daughters even gave us crap about not circumcising him. We told them we'd take them to have it done first and see how they liked it.:ph34r:


    See link for Dr. Sear's view


    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/T012000.asp

  18. I've been following just to see how many times the word pedantic or a version thereof will be used. Six so far. Keep it up!!:ph34r:

    edit.. woops . It might be just five.:|

  21. I could comb the web all day long to find articles about age appropriate discipline and when they can internalize control, etc. Here is one very small example. Point is-- I speak from experience. I have four children aged 18, 15, 13 and 19 months. All well-behaved and respectful. I have read many books on discipline as well as consulted pediatricians and psychologists for my own knowledge. I am in no way condoning parents who let their kids run wild or parents who don't discipline. I think not setting limits does the child a severe disservice. But to suggest that a child at 18 months can "sit still" on command is just ridiculous. And on that note, I am out because you can't argue with some of the logic I've read in this thread. Have a wonderful weekend and may you have quiet flights. :):P


    http://makinghealthyfamilies.com/qa28.htm


    QUESTION: My husband and I are confused on proper discipline for our 18 month old daughter. Do you have any guidelines that you can give to us. We don't want to be too strict yet she needs some limits.

    ANSWER: You are right to be seeking to define "limits" rather than "discipline" at this age. Eighteen months is too young to respond to discipline which implies that a child can internalize control. Setting limits however is a precursor to discipline and involves immediate consequences that in some way removes the child from an ability to pursue an inappropriate activity.
    Limits are passively set (without provocation) when you place safety latches on cabinets to protect children from poisons or other dangerous elements around the house. Active limit setting is a response to young toddlers inappropriate and often painful actions, such as hitting others with heavy objects (metal or wooden toys) or throwing objects that may break.

    Children of this age often throw objects, laughing at the impact on their "victims" not because they want to hurt but because they are experimenting with their ability to affect their world. It is necessary for parents to take objects away when they are thrown, saying "no" clearly. This is a simple form of limit setting which helps the child to learn by consequence, rather than internal control.

    Removing the object will need to be repeated many times. Sometimes the child may seem to have "gotten over" throwing the object only to return to it a couple of weeks later. But sooner or later, the act of setting limits sinks in and young children tend towards cooperating with the rules, whether it be to not throw food during dinner or refrain from pouring the dirt from a houseplant onto the floor.

    Follow your instincts in setting safe and healthy limits. It is unlikely that you will be overly strict, since your awareness in asking this question indicates sensitivity and atunement to your child's development. Your toddler is fortunate to have parents like yourself who seek an appropriate balance!

  23. Quote

    This nonsense about the child only being 18 months old is BS. Children learn very quickly, within a couple of months, how to manipulate others to get what they want. I know that it is not a conscious thought, but it is still a thought process. If they can figure this out on their own, they can surely be taught to sit quietly for six minutes, upon demand.



    Bullshit. Not at 18 months. And if you ever have kids, you'll see.





    You Cannot Spoil Your Newborn

    Bell and Ainsworth focused on twenty-six middle-class infant-mother pairs. Data were gathered by observing these mothers and children at home. First, observers confirmed that all infants have some crying spells. They noted the number of crying episodes that a mother ignored, the number she responded to, the length of time it took her to respond, what kind of response she made, and the overall effectiveness of her response. Picking up the baby and holding him proved to be the most effective way to terminate crying. Talking to him or gesturing at him from a distance was the least effective.

    Bell and Ainsworth observed that, during the first few months, some mothers were deliberately unresponsive when their babies cried because they feared they might spoil their babies. Data over an entire year, however, showed that mothers who consistently and promptly responded to their infant's crying were rewarded at the age of one year with infants who cried less frequently, and for shorter durations, than those infants whose mothers ignored crying or delayed responding.

    The authors of the study concluded, therefore, that infant crying is so disagreeable or "changeworthy" to adults that it probably serves a useful evolutionary function. They added that infant crying should be viewed as an "attachment" or "proximity-promoting" behavior because most often it served to bring a parent closer to a child. Furthermore, Bell and Ainsworth acknowledged the extreme difficulty of a mother or father ignoring a baby's crying. They recommended that a mother not struggle to overcome the natural impulse to comfort her crying child. An infant less than three months of age is, according to their study, at no risk of being spoiled.

    The conclusion of this study is similar to others that suggest that conditioning or training an infant is extremely difficult even in a carefully controlled laboratory environment. Spoiling, after all, is simply encouraging an undesirable behavior. But babies under a few months of age cannot "learn" a crying habit because they are not neurologically mature enough (neurological maturity is a necessary precursor to what later becomes psychological development). After all, at three weeks of age a baby is not even neurologically mature enough to learn to smile specifically at her mother. This suggests that it takes time for a baby's brain to develop before it can recognize you and respond to this recognition (and melt your heart with her fantastic smile). Specific social smiling at parents normally develops at about six weeks (in premature deliveries, this occurs at about six weeks after the expected date of delivery). The logic follows: If you cannot teach a baby to smile before she is neurologically ready, why assume you can teach her to cry? Actually, during the first several weeks of life, babies do smile when they are asleep. But this is not a socially responsive smile. Interestingly, they can cry when they are asleep as well.

  25. Quote

    That said, when talking about tantrums, I think several people here are dodging responsibility. Now I've only had one child, but teaching her that screaming was not an effective method for communicating was pretty easy





    Tantrums In Toddlers

    by Dr. Benjamin Spock
    reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
    Although many people think of tantrums as part of the "terrible twos," many children start having them between 10 and 24 months of age.

    They're developing a sense of their own desires and individuality. When they're thwarted, they know it and feel angry. Yet they don't usually attack the parent who has interfered with them. Perhaps the grown-up is too important and too big.

    When the feeling of fury boils up in them, they can't think of anything better to do than take it out on the floor and themselves. They flop down, yelling, and pound with their hands and feet and maybe their head.

    Avoiding tantrums
    A temper tantrum once in a while doesn't mean anything. A toddler is bound to be frustrated sometimes.

    A surprising number of tantrums are a result of fatigue or hunger, or of putting a child into a situation that exceeds his capabilities. (Most shopping mall tantrums fall into this category.)

    For this sort of tantrum, focus on the underlying problem, rather than whatever minor frustration set the tantrum off: "You're tired and hungry, aren't you? Let's get you home and fed and to bed, and you'll feel a lot better."

    Even frequent tantrums can be easy to fix. Ask yourself the following questions:

    • Does she have plenty of chance to play freely outdoors?

    • Are there things for her to push and pull and climb on there?

    • Indoors, has she enough toys and household objects to play with, and is the house childproofed?

    • Do you "set her up" by scheduling demanding activities (such as grocery shopping) at a time when she is likely to be hungry or tired?

    • When you see a storm brewing, do you meet it head-on, grimly, or do you distract her to something else?

    What to do when the storm breaks
    It isn't possible to dodge every tantrum. When the storm breaks, try to take it casually and help your child to get it over. You certainly don't want to give in and meekly let the child have her way. Otherwise, she'd be throwing tantrums all the time on purpose.

    Don't argue with her, because she's in no mood to see the error of her ways. Getting angry yourself only forces her to keep up her end of the row. Give her a graceful way out.

    One child cools off quickest if the parents fade away and go about their own business matter-of-factly, as if they can't be bothered. Another with more determination and pride sticks to her yelling and thrashing for an hour unless her parents make a friendly gesture. They might pop in with a suggestion of something fun to do, and a hug to show they want to make up, as soon as the worst of the storm has passed.

    It's embarrassing to have a child put on a tantrum on a busy sidewalk. Pick her up, with a grin if you can force it, and lug her off to a quiet spot where you can both cool off in private.

    Pay attention to your own feelings
    Tantrums in a toddler should be an annoyance, nothing more. You can't really control your child's emotions during a tantrum, but you should feel well in control of your own.

    You can't make your child stop, but you should feel confident that you can keep her safe during the tantrum, and carry on with life afterward. If you find that the tantrums leave you feeling angry, ashamed, worried, or shaken, or if you fear you might "lose it" and hurt your child, by all means talk with your child's doctor, or your own.




    So yes, there are definitely things you can do to try and avoid them but they can still happen. The child on the plane wasn't having a tantrum though. In fact, after waiting 11 hours for his flight he seemed to be doing great.





    Quote

    It started when we instituted a bedtime when she was about 12 weeks old. The first night she screamed for 45 minutes till she was worn out. The second night she didn't quite make half an hour. The third she lasted 10 minutes, and the fourth & fifth less than a minute.




    And some might say she stopped crying because she knew no one would come for her. Babies at 12 weeks still need to be fed a couple of times a night. I responded to all of my sons cries as a newborn which are different from a toddler throwing a tantrum.( Not trying to say what you did is wrong or what I did is wrong--different parenting philosophy is all.) He rarely has a tantrum. Usually it is in the car seat when we've been traveling for hours and he's sick of it but then no one else has to hear it but me anyway.B|