Kitimat Boogie - what is this foolishness?

[riggerrob 558]

What is this foolishness about the Kitimat Boogie?

No turbines?
No world-class load organizers?
No free demo gear?
Wing-loading restrictions?
No AFF?
No tandems?
No turbine-engined jump planes?
No free beer?
No free fluffers?
Only static-line for students?

First, they tell me that I cannot bring my Winnebago. Secondly, they try to tell me there is no place to hook up RVs n the DZ.
Come on!
What modern DZ does not have a full-blown RV park?
The girl on the phone tried to give me some BS about how great their bunk-house was????
Yeah!
Right!
She got kind of snarky. When I asked her about a health club, she replied "We usually warm-up with yoga in the morning, but you will get all the exercise you need walking to the launch point! Hah! Hah!"
What no shuttle buses?????
She was even ruder when I asked her about a hot tub or jaccuzzi. She laughed some more and said something about "hot springs a half mile away????"

When I tried to ask her about nearby restaurants, she was sooooo proud about "all the salmon and mussels you can eat for free...."
What about skydivers who are allergic to sea food?

When I asked her about bars and liquor stores, she got all legal about "jumping on a dry reservation ..."
How can you host a boogie without free beer????

Then she try to tell me that I can only fly in on their favorite airline!!! What kind of airline flies a "Norseman?"

She "lost touch" with reality when I asked her about jump planes. She mumbled something about a Raven or a Cameron or a tidal-powered chair lift. What the BLEEP is a tidal-powered chair lift?
She was quite proud of the fact that they offer lift for free ... but I don't believe her.
And then she tried to brag about the "best basalt on the West Coast!"
What the BLEEEP is "basalt?"

It might have been her accent, but I missed what she was trying to tell me about freefall times ... something about "most people get five seconds, but the wing-suiters get 19???"

Oh! And they have some pretty strange rules about gear up in Canada. ... like no AADs. My family long out-grew the papist dogma of Saint Francis Chevrier, but as staunch Lutherans, we devotely follow the teachings of Saint Helmut Cloth. We feel downright naked jumping without the protection of St. Cloth!!!!

Then Kitimat Boogie organizers try to limit wing-loadings to "less than one pound per square foot???" Must be a miss-print, because only students and lilly-livered, limp-wristed perverts jump at wing-loadings less than five pounds per square foot on my home DZ.

And that metric measurement just leaves me confused ... when she bragged about all lifts going to "3,400" ??? Was she talking feet or meters or fathoms per fortnight?????

Sounds like a scam. I think I will pass on this boogie.