One person's view on marriage.*

[npgraphicdesign 2]

*Disclaimer: These are just opinions and were forwarded to me. I hereby relinquish any & all responsibility for actions that may occur as a result of reading these jokes.



You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
__________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
__________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
__________

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished .
__________

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
__________

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
__________

Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until
I got married, and by then, it was too late.'
__________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say
-- talk in your sleep.
__________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage,
men would go through life thinking they
had no faults at all.
__________

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________

'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man ,
to Love and to forgive him, and patience for his
moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just
beat him to death'
__________

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop
with their nine children. A blind man joins them
after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they
find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids
are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while, the husband gets irritate d by the ticking
of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'
The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'

[mamajumps 0]

ROFLMAO!!!! Those are great, especially the last one!!!!

[mrwrong 0]

Thanx... That post made my afternoon

“The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.” - George Bernard Shaw
He who dies with the most toys, wins.....
dudeist skydiver # 19515
Buy quality and cry once!

[lawrocket 3]

Just listen to any Sam Kinison routine.

"Hey. You are gonne get maried? Look at this face and remember it - AAAHHHHHHHH!!!! Cuz that's gonna be your face in the mirror every morning."

[After joking about Jesus being nailed to the cross]: "People say 'Wow Sam. Aren't you afraid you'll go to hell for telling jokes like that?'. Hell? I WAS MARRIED FOR TWO FUCKIN YEARS!!! HELL WOULD BE CLUB MED!"

"You know what marriage is, folks? Boredom. No single man gives a shit about it but a married man is so fuckin bored he is worried about his lawn."

My wife is hotter than your wife.