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My name is Dena Hogue and I’m basically still at whuffo status. My first tandem jump was down at Skydive Sebastian in March of 2019. I then had 2 more (tandem) jumps at the same dz in November of 2019. Money has been my only setback (I obviously have not jumped since, unfortunately). I currently live in Arkansas, and the closest dz to me is Skydive River Valley. I really hope to take their IAD class soon. Since I have not been able to jump since November of 2019, I have been doing my best to soak up as much “book knowledge” as possible. Hopefully that will help a lot in understanding things when I finally get to be a student jumper. I have light years to go, but my biggest goal is to become a BASE jumper. With money being the only thing stopping me, I may never see that dream. If I’m able to at least achieve an A license I will be thrilled. If there are any experienced jumpers reading this, please feel free to share any knowledge you can that could help me out in learning about this amazing sport. I am now 33 years old, and I deeply regret always feeling too terrified to try skydiving out. I truly wish I would have found a dz straight out of high school and started packing and going from there. I have never felt like I fit in as I do with you all. At least I stepped into it now instead of never, eh? Thank-you all.
Hey all. Warning, long post ahead. TLDR; I'm a baby skydiver with 10 jumps, fresh out of AFF. All of my jumps went great and I love the feeling of skydiving, but at the same time, I'm always thinking about how afraid I am for my next jump even when I'm not at the DZ. I'm exhausted and I don't know if I can take the anxiety anymore. I'm not sure if I should accept that maybe skydiving isn't for me or if there's anything else I can do. Looking for any advice or personal experience to help me out! I came into skydiving from a unique background. I've worked at a tunnel for years so I had about 20 hours before I ever jumped out of an airplane. I did my first tandem last summer and absolutely fell in love. I felt like I'd come home and I knew straight away I needed to do it more. I saved up for my AFF over winter and quarantine and I finally started in July. It's been 5 weeks since my course started and I graduated 2 weeks ago, except I haven't done a jump since. The problem is that I'm terrified. I really struggled with anxiety all throughout my progression, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, cold sweats, felt sick, the whole works. I could never really pin-point what exactly I'm afraid of. It's not door fear, or exiting, or free fall, or landing, or gear fear or any of that. Just this abstract, visceral fear. I somehow managed to finish and now the thought of doing my first real solo (that is, my first self-supervised jump) feels insurmountable. I'm terrified and for the first time I actually feel like I CAN'T do it. I was all geared up and manifested last week and I chickened out and took myself all of the load. I decided to take some time off to get my head sorted out and possibly come back to the sport next season, but I'm so embarrassed and disappointed with myself. I love jumping once I'm out of the plane. I love how surreal the free fall feels, I love flying my own canopy, I love landing. But I'm exhausted from feeling so scared all the time, and the thought of doing another jump fills me with dread and not excitement. I don't know what to do. I don't want to fully quit but at what point do I say "okay, this isn't for me." Does anyone have any advice, or did anyone else go through something similar?