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Posts posted by jono
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http://www.omniskore.com/freefall_drift2.htmlRemember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
I remember seeing a video of a guy rollerblading off the top of the cabin between the two vertical stabilizers in the pink skyvan. Very cool but not sure if he looked as cool landing though.
Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva.
You can'nt get a song with lyrics more suited to skydiving videos than this one. Kicks ass and makes me feel like I'm on jump run.Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
QuoteIt IS your job. Now get in the kitchen and make the man of the house a sandwich and ice cream.
Thats why women have smaller feet isn't it?? So they can stand closer to the sink!!!
And of course women get married in white because all good kitchen appliances come in white.
P.S.hope my wife doesn't see thisRemember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Jokes
in The Bonfire
A bit of Aussie humour here.....
Life in the Australian Army...
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga
is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland)
Dear Mum & Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on
the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling
down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all yagotta do
before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves
to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot
water and even a light to see what ya doing!
At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steak or possum stew like wot Mum makes.
You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a
'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!
This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why.
The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the
Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do
is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own
cartridges they come in little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo
shooting truck when you reload!
Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not
like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home
after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been
beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across
the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the
other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
Your loving daughter,
SheilaRemember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Jokes
in The Bonfire
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD" IS WHEN. A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN.... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by... the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN.... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to peeRemember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Jokes
in The Bonfire
STOP CHOKING - AUSSIE STYLE ....
A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough.
After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress,
and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her.
Ken ya swaller? asked Bluey
The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head.
Kin ya breathe?' asked Bazza. The woman shook her head No!!!
With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress,
yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of
her bum.
This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction
flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.
Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody
Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen
somebody do it.'Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Jokes
in The Bonfire
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.
The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.
He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'
THERE'S MORE...
Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.
He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.
He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.
Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'
IT IS NOT OVER YET...
Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.
He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.
Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Paddy shakes his head.
'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!'Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Jokes
in The Bonfire
Should I keep going or is that enough??
Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Jokes
in The Bonfire
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring foodRemember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Jokes
in The Bonfire
Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at the party they were at the night before.
1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks.
2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and given a DUI!
3rd guy: That's nothing. I was so drunk that on the way home I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed!
1st guy: No, no.. you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog.Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Jokes
in The Bonfire
This guy decides to go to the zoo one day. But when he gets there, it's just one dog.
It was a shitzu.Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Jokes
in The Bonfire
A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a 5-Iron golf club wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.
We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end."
"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's arse.
Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"
"I don't remember much after that ...."Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Jokes
in The Bonfire
A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor."
"Don't do that," volunteered his friend, "there's a new computer at the drugstore that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $10, then the computer will give you your diagnosis and plan of treatment."
The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he took a sample of urine down to the drugstore. Finding the machine, he poured in the urine and deposited $10. The machine began to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper popped out on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks.
That evening as the man contemplated this breakthrough in medical science, he began to suspect fraud. To test his theory he mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbated into the jar. He took this concoction down to the drugstore, poured it in the machine and deposited $10. The machine went through the same buzzing and flashing routine as before then printed out the following message:
Your tap water has lead. Get a filter.
Your dog has worms. Give him vitamins.
Your daughter is on drugs. Get her in rehab.
Your wife is pregnant. It's not your baby. Get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off your tennis elbow will never get better.Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Well the time has come for me to retire the Cypres unit that came with my 2nd hand rig and buy a new unit.I'm considering buying a Vigil over a Cypres2 because of the extra 8 YEARS of life compared to Cypres2.I have no plans to get my rig wet (no pond swooping 4 me thanks) so can't see any advantage in the waterproof side of things. However asked my rigger what he thought of Vigils and he said he has never fitted one yet and really hasn't heard anything good or bad about them and if it was him, to go with what you know!!! Not a lot of help! Can anyone offer any views as to the pros and cons of choosing a Vigil AAD over the tried and tested Cypres2??Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
Can anyone tell me what are the pro's and con's of mounting a digital video camera on the side of your helmet verses on top??Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -
I've recently bought a sony DCH-HC30 handycam and would like to fit it to my bonehead pimpdaddy helmet. The problem is that the hand strap is not removable. I contacted Bonehead to find out if the housing they make for the HC range will take the camera with the strap fitted,but for some reason they could'nt tell me and suggested I ask here.Any help/advice would be great.Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.
GoPro Hero HD
in Photography and Video
Check out the youtube vid on Cookie's web site showing his wrist mount. It does swivel. You have to set the angle youi want before you fit the camera but it has a 360 degree swivel.
http://www.cookiecomposites.com/shop/Accessories/84/index.htm